# Okay, who would win these super hero matchups? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 6, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563 "2002-07-06T01:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/61 "2002-07-09T00:02:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sealemon88 \* > \*\*I’d LOVE to see the Avengers take on the JLA! I know Perez was gonna do the crossover, but the last I heard, it got shelved. > \*\* When did you hear this? Last I heard Perez was going full bore and was done with one issue, course that was a couple of months ago. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/62 "2002-07-09T00:11:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > \*\* > The problem that I had with Grant Morrison’s Batman (as much fun as it was to read) is that somehow, in your Hulk scenario or my unbeatable scenario, Batman would somehow have been prepared. And I don’t buy it. Or like it. Batman should not have “The writer cheats in his favor” as his super-power._\* > \*\* Exactly how is Morrison “cheating” in Batman’s favor? Batman has no superpowers, therefore he HAS to prepare for whatever/whomever he may face. Why do you think he has all those Cray supercomputers in the Batcave, so he can play the most kickass version of Quake 4 EVER? Batman has to think of every possibilty, and he has to decide which method of attack will work best for him in a given situation. What does that require? Preparation. Batman does not do ANYTHING half-assed, so not being “prepared” doesn’t enter into the equation. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/63 "2002-07-09T02:06:31Z")
The Marvel/DC matchups are too obvious. I much prefer the matchups between underground or obscure comics. The Saint of Killers from the Preacher comics. He’s a former gunslinger from the wild west. Killed, sent to hell and tortured by the devil, he could not be broken, so he was transformed to become an unstoppable, unkillable angel of death. Mr. Henry Phage from the Technophage comics. He’s a 65 million year old dinosaur, ruling a parallel Earth. he is the Chairman of a vast steam powered economy which consumes souls and produces misery for profit. His metaphysical powers rival that of Emperor Palpatine or Q. Saint vs Phage…there ya go! ---
**Author:** ![dr\_hermes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@dr\_hermes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dr_hermes)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/64 "2002-07-09T02:22:18Z")
Mighty Mouse vs. the Powerpuff Girls! Against all three, I`d have to say MM would be outmatched. Against any one of them at a time (even Buttercup), he`d spank her and send the little princess home. Not only can he fly and use his contrail as a rope, not only is he super strong and fast, but Mighty Mouse has a lovely tenor singing voice! ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/65 "2002-07-09T06:27:01Z")
Okay, am I the only one here that remembers that Daredevil beat the Huld once? It was in an issue of Daredevil, but I can’t remember which one. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/66 "2002-07-09T06:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WSLer \* > \*\* > > Exactly how is Morrison “cheating” in Batman’s favor? > > Batman has no superpowers, therefore he HAS to prepare for whatever/whomever he may face. > > Why do you think he has all those Cray supercomputers in the Batcave, so he can play the most kickass version of Quake 4 EVER? > > Batman has to think of every possibilty, and he has to decide which method of attack will work best for him in a given situation. > > What does that require? > > Preparation. > > Batman does not do ANYTHING half-assed, so not being “prepared” doesn’t enter into the equation. \*\* “Hmmmm, a giant planet-eating entity is about to attack Gotham…good thing I have this Bat-Ultimate Nullifier in my pocket…” ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/67 "2002-07-09T11:19:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lok \* > \*\*Okay, am I the only one here that remembers that Daredevil beat the Huld once? It was in an issue of Daredevil, but I can’t remember which one. \*\* 163-ish. And he “beat” the Hulk primarily by bleeding all over him, which upset the Hulk who went away. 🙂 Daredevil was in the hospital for like 2 issues after that. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/68 "2002-07-09T11:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WSLer \* > \*\* > > Exactly how is Morrison “cheating” in Batman’s favor? > > Batman has no superpowers, therefore he HAS to prepare for whatever/whomever he may face. > > Why do you think he has all those Cray supercomputers in the Batcave, so he can play the most kickass version of Quake 4 EVER? > > Batman has to think of every possibilty, and he has to decide which method of attack will work best for him in a given situation. > > What does that require? > > Preparation. > > Batman does not do ANYTHING half-assed, so not being “prepared” doesn’t enter into the equation. \*\* Yes, but the only way that Batman could possibly be _always_ prepared to defend himself against _every possible threat, every possible scenerio, anything that could conceivably be thrown at him at any hour of any day_, he would have to have precognative powers. As as been said many times, Batman is cool precisely because he doesn’t have powers. And don’t start with the Crays - supercomputers are not omniscient. Neither is Batman. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/69 "2002-07-10T06:16:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > 163-ish. And he “beat” the Hulk primarily by bleeding all over him, which upset the Hulk who went away. 🙂 > > Daredevil was in the hospital for like 2 issues after that. > > Fenris \*\* I seem to remember the authorities finding the Hulk lying in an alley and not knowing how he got that way. But I do remember DD ending up badly beaten. Lok ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/70 "2002-07-10T11:19:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > 163-ish. And he “beat” the Hulk primarily by bleeding all over him, which upset the Hulk who went away. 🙂 > > Daredevil was in the hospital for like 2 issues after that. > > Fenris \*\* Was that the issue that went more or less along the lines of: DD: Bruce, I’m really trying to help you. Please calm down, issue? Hulk: Shut up, stupid man! Hulk want to kill Banner! At which point the Hulk pretty much smacked DD across the street, then wandered off for a nap? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/71 "2002-07-10T13:29:59Z")
This thread reminds me of an issue of _Film Threat_ I read years ago. They asked a panel of underground cartoonists who would win in a fight between Superman and Jesus Christ. Most of them gave vague answers, like “Superman because Jesus is fictional,” but Paul MavRides, _Freak Brothers_ artist and Founding Father of the Church of the Subgenius responded with a really insightful answer. “Jesus Christ, because of his unique ability to return from the dead. Superman could mash Jesus into jelly and hurl him into the sun, but the plucky Saviour or Souls would just come back, ready to take up the fight again. Superman would eventually get bored and give up.” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/72 "2002-07-10T14:35:59Z")
What about Jesus’s whole “Hey Dad, would you mind smitting this guy for me real quick?” attack? What about Thor vs. Superman? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/73 "2002-07-10T20:35:51Z")
Thor. Superman´s invulnerability is limited against magic, and Thor has a big-ass magic mallet. He can blast Superman with lightning bolts and mana rays. He can go toe to toe with Supes long enough to crown him with Mjornir (Said magic mallet). Plus, as has been mentioned before, Superman usually forgets that he has superspeed. Now, if Supes were actually a dirty enough player to kidney punch Thor at mach 5… ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/74 "2002-07-13T18:25:18Z")
I cannot fucking believe how many posts this thread has received. Apparently I have finally found a topic dopers [i[really\* care about. **Fenris** , you kill me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/75 "2002-07-13T19:44:27Z")
[quote] _Lizard wrote_\*\* Fenris, you kill me. :D\*\* In a **Fenris** vs **Lizard** deathmatch, my money would be on **Fenris**. **Lizard** ’s quite the contender but given **Fenris** ’s vast post count _combined_ with his stunningly powerful modesty (not to mention the fact that he has the strength of ten Dopers because his heart is pure\*), I belive all thinking people would say that **Fenris**. And if we’re talking about archetypes. the **Lizard** is simply Curt Conners, while **Fenris** is the son of Loki, will bite of Tyr’s hand and will devour the sun, come Ragnarok. 😉 Fenris \*pure _what_ is unknown. BUT it’s _pure_ dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/76 "2002-07-13T19:58:10Z")
hijack/ Wasn’t there a Marvel supervillian team called Fenris? A brother/sister team of neo-Nazi’s? Is that where you got your name? I’m not implying that if you did that you’re a neo-nazi, btw 🙂 /hijack ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/77 "2002-07-13T20:11:39Z")
Sam: Yes, Uncanny X-Men #199 ish ca 1987 or so. Horrible issues, IMO. I’ve been using Fenris since my BBS days in the early '80s, so no. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/78 "2002-07-13T21:06:59Z")
Ok thank you…I can’t believe that I remembered that…next I’ll be asking about what happened to Slyde… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/79 "2002-07-14T00:40:55Z")
Slyde? That lame Spidey villian with the teflon suit, right? I think he got forgotten just like Rocket Racer, The Grizzly, The Kangaroo, the Walrus and the White Rabbit. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563/80 "2002-07-14T00:51:02Z")
Actually Rocket Racer had numerous appearances, in a team with the Prowler and Will O’ the Wisp. They worked as mercenaries for Silver Sable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okay-who-would-win-these-super-hero-matchups/117563.md?page=5)