# Okcupid: What to do when nobody is messaging you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 11, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258 "2005-01-11T19:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/181 "2005-01-20T06:12:31Z")
I am already sort of part of the SDMB friend network since I am linked in through **DidYouSpitinThis**. I don’t really feel the need to have my profile critiqued, but I would love if some dopers took and critiqued my [test](http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=1985567502425606155) -especially if you have taken an MBTI in the past. ( **ScubaBen** already took it - yay!!) I just have to say that **kidchameleon** , you were the first person I tried to contact through OKCpuid when I joined (how funny that you’re a doper, too!), but I just wooed you, not knowing how shunned they were on that site. I came from match, where a wink is well received. (you never replied). Oh well. How are things going with that phone number you got? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/182 "2005-01-20T07:56:15Z")
To everyone: Anybody in my situation, and my past self, give it time! It just takes patience! In a nutshell, things have pretty much exploded for me (in a good way). I’m getting women that are messaging me now about my profile, not just in response to my own messages to them. It is VERY exciting! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alphaFemale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@alphaFemale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaFemale)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/183 "2005-01-20T17:03:10Z")
woohoo! so what’s on the slate for sat’s date? ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/184 "2005-01-20T22:16:41Z")
Holy Smokes! I was going to log onto OKCupid today and I pause a sec for the random pictures of members to pop up and I saw Ava’s face staring straight at me. What a coinky-dink. Well, thanks actually to yahoo personals I have a date this Saturday. I had a nice dinner with the mystery lady with no picture that turned out to be quite cute. Hmmm, I was planning on going to the zoo this weekend with her, but it seems an approachign blizzard has put the kabosh on it for me. Any good ideas for a nice suburban second date? I wish I could find a museum or somethign but I don’t think there are any in the west 'burbs of Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/185 "2005-01-20T22:29:08Z")
> [@Thinks2Much](#): > > I just have to say that **kidchameleon** , you were the first person I tried to contact through OKCpuid when I joined (how funny that you’re a doper, too!), Well that’s a nice ego boost, thanks. 🙂 > [@](#): > > but I just wooed you, not knowing how shunned they were on that site. I came from match, where a wink is well received. (you never replied). Oh well. Yeah, I’m not much of a woo guy. Actually I was more in a MUST GET DATE mode than the wacky doper friendship that’s come a bit later, so since you were seeing someone it just sat in my inbox for a while. Trust me, you seem rather datable. 😉 > [@](#): > > How are things going with that phone number you got? 🙂 See above 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/186 "2005-01-20T22:38:49Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Well that’s a nice ego boost, thanks. 🙂 > > Yeah, I’m not much of a woo guy. Actually I was more in a MUST GET DATE mode than the wacky doper friendship that’s come a bit later, so since you were seeing someone it just sat in my inbox for a while. Trust me, you seem rather datable. 😉 > > See above 🆒 I wasn’t seeing someone at the time I wooed you- I have only had it at that status for a couple of weeks, and technically I am not seeing anyone anymore, but I just don’t have the time at the moment to go on dates, so I have left it that way. But that’s ok - I didn’t expect you to justify why you didn’t contact me. We all have our reasons. 🙂 Congratulations on the date coming up! Don’t worry about the lack of museums. I wouldn’t recommend a museum date, at least not early on. It can make for a long day with someone you barely know - lots of opportunities for awkward silences. Dave and Busters is a good indoor day time date - not cheap, but fun. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/187 "2005-01-21T03:56:55Z")
**Quick Update** : I’ve been exchanging e-mail with an OK Cupid guy for the past 3 weeks, we talked on the phone Saturday and again last night, and we (finally) met for lunch today: it went very well. 🙂 We sat and talked for 2.5 hours, and I had no idea that much time had gone by until we parted ways and I looked at my watch. Very cool guy, and very cute (;)), and we were straightforward enough with each other to confess to liking each other and frankly being amazed at how well we’ve been getting along and how much we have in common. We will be seeing each other again. Misnomer is a happy girl tonight. 😃 > [@Thinks2Much](#): > > Dave and Busters is a good indoor day time date - not cheap, but fun. If you don’t mind not being able to hear well enough to carry on a conversation with the other person . . . 😉 (Disclaimer: I’ve only been to Dave & Buster’s once, and found it incredibly loud and crowded and really not worth the effort. But it was just that once, and I keep hearing good things about the place from other people – and I’m old and cranky these days – so take my criticism for what it’s worth. :D) ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/188 "2005-01-21T04:17:40Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > **Quick Update** : I’ve been exchanging e-mail with an OK Cupid guy for the past 3 weeks, we talked on the phone Saturday and again last night, and we (finally) met for lunch today: it went very well. 🙂 We sat and talked for 2.5 hours, and I had no idea that much time had gone by until we parted ways and I looked at my watch. Very cool guy, and very cute (;)), and we were straightforward enough with each other to confess to liking each other and frankly being amazed at how well we’ve been getting along and how much we have in common. We will be seeing each other again. Misnomer is a happy girl tonight. 😃 > > If you don’t mind not being able to hear well enough to carry on a conversation with the other person . . . 😉 > > (Disclaimer: I’ve only been to Dave & Buster’s once, and found it incredibly loud and crowded and really not worth the effort. But it was just that once, and I keep hearing good things about the place from other people – and I’m old and cranky these days – so take my criticism for what it’s worth. :D) Congratulations on the date! I think it’s great you guys can be so straight forward. 🙂 As far as D&B, notice I said it was a good \*\*day time \*\* date. The place is way too crowded in the evening or at night. There is just so much to choose from - sit down to eat, hang out in the bar, play darts, pool, or video games. If something isn’t working for you two, you can just move to the next room and do something else. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/189 "2005-01-21T04:33:09Z")
> [@Thinks2Much](#): > > As far as D&B, notice I said it was a good \*\*day time \*\* date. I’m thinking about bringing up the zoo thing and how it won’t work and offer her the choice of a dinner at an italian resturaunt, D&B or see if she’d like me to cook her something. I’d favor the last, it’d be the most work but also the most enjoyable. And we can see if my dog approves. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/190 "2005-01-21T06:06:24Z")
Hee. I tweaked my [profile](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=18194718472106575203) just a touch, according to advice given here. I’m answering more questions–I’m over 300 now–and some of them crack me up. “Would you and your ideal match eventually feel comfortable farting around each other?” I’d appreciate a little more specific advice if anyone can give it. My profile just doesn’t seem to me like it has much spark. I may be too boring for this stuff. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/191 "2005-01-21T20:05:27Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I’d appreciate a little more specific advice if anyone can give it. My profile just doesn’t seem to me like it has much spark. I may be too boring for this stuff. Since you have a tattoo that’s often hidden, toss in something flirty like ‘Answer me this…[something you have interest in] and maybe I’ll show you my tattoo.’ That way you give them something to start talking about and you get to be flirty, all in one little thing. 🙂 As fer me, the LadyChameleon has agreed to enter my condo and partake of my cooking. Now I just have to clean like I’ve never cleaned before. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/192 "2005-01-22T03:17:42Z")
> [@Thinks2Much](#): > > Congratulations on the date! I think it’s great you guys can be so straight forward. 🙂 Thanks. 🙂 He sent me an e-mail late last night, basically saying again how much he likes me and that he wants to see me again. We’re expecting bad weather this weekend, so we’re talking about getting together on Tuesday night. I can’t wait! It is just so nice to know that I’m on the same page with someone regarding level of interest. {grin} I’m pretty happy about our straightforwardness, too: in e-mail we both expressed a preference for being direct and honest, and it was good to see that carry over into real life. > [@](#): > > \*As far as D&B, notice I said it was a good \*_day time \*\* date. The place is way too crowded in the evening or at night._ I noticed the “day time date” part; the one time I went _was_ during the day. And I found it too noisy and crowded then – you mean it gets worse?? :eek: > [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Hee. I tweaked my profile just a touch, according to advice given here. Well, I like it. 🙂 For the record, though, your tattoo _does_ count: one of mine is nearly always hidden, and it definitely counts. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![down\_by\_law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@down\_by\_law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/down_by_law)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/193 "2005-01-22T14:58:53Z")
> [@alphaFemale](#): > > since we’re sharing with the class… > > [LINK!](http://personals.yahoo.com/personals-1104372317-199542) damn, i’d ask you out, but i’m 7’-11". ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/194 "2005-01-22T23:09:28Z")
OK, I’ll compose a tattoo-related flirt. ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/195 "2005-01-23T05:52:49Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > As fer me, the LadyChameleon has agreed to enter my condo and partake of my cooking. Now I just have to clean like I’ve never cleaned before. :eek: We expect a full report shortly. Don’t pull a **calm kiwi** on us, ok? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/196 "2005-01-24T04:08:48Z")
> [@Thinks2Much](#): > > We expect a full report shortly. Don’t pull a **calm kiwi** on us, ok? 🙂 Holy zowie! It was superb, she enjoyed my cooking(and her mom also loved the stuff I sent home as leftovers) and then almost immediately went to snuggle and watch a movie on the couch. She and my dog got along fabulously, she actually cuddled with us on the couch for a while, she’s done that maybe 3 times in the little over a year I’ve had her. Then we tried the kissing thing, that went well and we watched another movie. Sadly she did get a bit tired a left around midnight. She called today and we’re going to do something next weekend, though something more public because we won’t get to know each other if there’s too much kissy-face. 🙂 What’s really amazing is the things we keep finding we have in common with one another. Now if I could just get my divorce finalized faster… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/197 "2005-01-24T04:56:42Z")
In case you’d like to see how to NOT write a profile, [this is an example.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=10066114981445145930)😛 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/198 "2005-01-24T05:01:43Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > In case you’d like to see how to NOT write a profile, [this is an example.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=10066114981445145930)😛 That’s what we in the biz like to call a “why bother.” Good for you, **kidchameleon**. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/199 "2005-01-24T23:57:13Z")
oh man, I am _so_ wooing her. wonder what her response will be ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/200 "2005-01-25T00:35:07Z")
> [@wolf in second hand clothing](#): > > oh man, I am _so_ wooing her. > wonder what her response will be Seeing as she hasn’t logged in in two months…I’m thinking nothing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=11)