# Okcupid: What to do when nobody is messaging you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 11, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258 "2005-01-11T19:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/101 "2005-01-14T20:19:30Z")
> [@Taran](#): > > I’m a little young for **ava** , but I _am_ interested in women and I completely agree with this. **ava** , my thoughts when reading through your profile went something like: “Intelligent, articulate, if she didn’t live in Irvine friggin’ California I’d be signing up for OK Cupid right this min…wait, what?” It was jarring, laid against the rest of your profile. If I knew you better, I’d probably be able to appreciate them as jokes, but I don’t and can’t. It’s an in-joke and I don’t understand why they appear on OUR pages. I wanted it to appear on his page. 😕 The site is still uber slow for me. Does anyone else look at it with Firefox? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/102 "2005-01-14T20:30:52Z")
> [@ava](#): > > It’s an in-joke and I don’t understand why they appear on OUR pages. I wanted it to appear on his page. 😕 Comments you make on other profiles show up on your page. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/103 "2005-01-14T20:49:53Z")
> [@ava](#): > > It’s an in-joke and I don’t understand why they appear on OUR pages. I wanted it to appear on his page. 😕 > > The site is still uber slow for me. Does anyone else look at it with Firefox? Like **ultrafilter** said, comments show up in both profiles: yours and the other person’s. I use Firefox all of the time, and haven’t noticed any particular slowness . . . ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/104 "2005-01-14T21:54:26Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Darn, forgot to reply to this: > Yes; the site seems to be mostly 20-somethings. That’s what I thought - I felt a bit icky looking at it, like some sort of dirty old man, and I’m “only” in my late 30s. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/105 "2005-01-14T22:26:27Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > This weekend, I’m going to get my friend to take about 10 pictures of me on his digital camera, and probably submit my 2-3 favorite ones on okcupid. Drop the ones you like the best on [Hotornot.com](http://Hotornot.com) and see what other people think. I thought I had some good ones but they weren’t as popular as other, especially ones with my dog. Hmmmm, maybe it is true… > [@](#): > > Some responses have trickled in, which is exciting. We’ll see how things go. 🙂 Woo-hoo, good luck! I got me a phone number today. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/106 "2005-01-14T23:24:39Z")
Another doper sent me a request to add me as a friend, and I thought it might be kinda cool to have a big friend network. So I’ve sent friend requests to everyone who posted an OKCupid profile in here. Please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you’re disinterested. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/107 "2005-01-14T23:27:59Z")
Hey, great idea, **ultrafilter**! Don’t sweat it, if there’s something I learned a bit late in life, it’s that having a support network can make something 10x easier to deal with. I think we can definitely help each other in this endeavor. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/108 "2005-01-14T23:31:05Z")
Well, I think I put in friend requests to everybody… Some people, I got big red text at the top saying “Friendship request to x made”, and others I didn’t. But I swear I tried everyone. So if you didn’t get one from me, and you want one, just go ahead and add me as a friend. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/109 "2005-01-15T00:19:39Z")
Well, I’m ready to be improved. [Link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=18194718472106575203) ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/110 "2005-01-15T00:35:08Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Well, I’m ready to be improved. [Link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=18194718472106575203) [rubber stamp] Write more about your interests, not what sort of person you are. If you write honestly, that’ll show too. [/rubber stamp] Also, I really didn’t get a good sense of your body type from that photo, cause it looks like you’re wearing a very bulky sweatshirt. You might want to try for a photo that’s less ambiguous. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/111 "2005-01-15T00:37:21Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > [rubber stamp] > Write more about your interests, not what sort of person you are. If you write honestly, that’ll show too. > [/rubber stamp] > > Also, I really didn’t get a good sense of your body type from that photo, cause it looks like you’re wearing a very bulky sweatshirt. You might want to try for a photo that’s less ambiguous. Sad to say, that’s not just the sweatshirt. I suppose I could hunt down those suit pictures. I also need more interests, I think, because I’ve written about the ones I have. Back to the salt mines, and thanks. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/112 "2005-01-15T00:42:22Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Sad to say, that’s not just the sweatshirt. I suppose I could hunt down those suit pictures. I also need more interests, I think, because I’ve written about the ones I have. Yeah, I took another look at your profile after posting that, and I probably would’ve said something slightly different. I think if you wrote a little more in the “Your favorite books/movies/music/food”, you’d be good. Don’t sweat the photos too much, either. You’re a good-looking woman. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/113 "2005-01-15T00:47:46Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Yeah, I took another look at your profile after posting that, and I probably would’ve said something slightly different. I think if you wrote a little more in the “Your favorite books/movies/music/food”, you’d be good. > > Don’t sweat the photos too much, either. You’re a good-looking woman. Thanks. I’ll work on it some more, since you’ve given good advice. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/114 "2005-01-15T02:21:54Z")
All right! I think I have myself a little date Sunday afternoon! 😃 One of the responses I got today sent another message saying she’d be interested in going out this weekend. She suggested a walk over the Golden Gate bridge, or whale watching. We’re still figuring out the logistics. But I’m psyched!!! Thanks for all the advice! And good luck to everyone! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/115 "2005-01-15T03:41:53Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Well, I’m ready to be improved. I really like your profile! Well done. 🙂 My only suggestion – and it’s a “rubber stamp” kind of thing, to borrow **ultrafilter** ’s phrase – is that you answer more questions. You’ve taken a fair number of tests, which is very cool, but it’s the questions that count toward compatibility. I know you only just created your profile, so feel free to completely ignore me if you fully intend to answer a bunch of questions when you have more time. 😉 > [@Incubus](#): > > All right! I think I have myself a little date Sunday afternoon! 😃 > > One of the responses I got today sent another message saying she’d be interested in going out this weekend. Go, **Incubus**! 🙂 See, told ya to just be patient. 😉 Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/116 "2005-01-15T03:48:55Z")
OK, fine, [Here](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=7575509476138135194) (hopes he doesn’t get the rubber stamp) Oh, and I know my photo isn’t all that good, but I’m at my parent’s house, and that’ like one of two on this PC. On Sunday I can put better ones of me up there. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/117 "2005-01-15T03:51:49Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I really like your profile! Well done. 🙂 > > My only suggestion – and it’s a “rubber stamp” kind of thing, to borrow **ultrafilter** ’s phrase – is that you answer more questions. You’ve taken a fair number of tests, which is very cool, but it’s the questions that count toward compatibility. I know you only just created your profile, so feel free to completely ignore me if you fully intend to answer a bunch of questions when you have more time. 😉 Thanks. I’ve been taking the tests all week. I keep forgetting about the questions, though. I will add a bit more to the profile and submit it for critiquing here. Good for you, **Incubus**! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/118 "2005-01-15T03:56:28Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > OK, fine, [Here](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=7575509476138135194) > > (hopes he doesn’t get the rubber stamp) Actually it looks pretty good. Did you mean to start off your description of Saranac Lake with “Imagine a lack.”? And like everyone else here, you got the invite to the SDMB real friends club. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/119 "2005-01-15T03:56:51Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > OK, fine, [Here](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=7575509476138135194) > > (hopes he doesn’t get the rubber stamp) Proofread. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/120 "2005-01-15T04:15:41Z")
I have finally answered 100 questions. Phew! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=7)