# Okcupid: What to do when nobody is messaging you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 11, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258 "2005-01-11T19:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/121 "2005-01-15T04:17:37Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I have finally answered 100 questions. Phew! Only 400 more to go before you’ve got a decent base built up. Keep truckin! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/122 "2005-01-15T04:19:24Z")
OK, I copy and pasted all the text into word so at least the spelling is fixed (can’t say much or the grammar, though.) I also added a couple more photos I scanned in. Just so you don’t have to backtrack, [Linkity-link](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=7575509476138135194) ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/123 "2005-01-15T04:20:54Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > BTW, to anyone who is interested, my okcupid [profile](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=11105295135417524130) Wow…I’m impressed. If you were a few years older, and lived in FL, well then… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/124 "2005-01-15T04:22:56Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Only 400 more to go before you’ve got a decent base built up. Keep truckin! Doing them all at once is not advised, I suppose? Let’s see. That last fifty took about ten minutes. So 400 will take about an hour and twenty minutes. I have the time. That’s why I have this profile in the first place. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/125 "2005-01-15T06:27:51Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Write more, write about your interests. Play up the fact that you’re a firefighter–that’s got to be a good selling point. > > Incidentally, I have a little trouble finding people who aren’t too young on OKCupid. Is it working out for you? O-Tay! Did the expansion to several topics, but kept it below War & Peace level, corrected spelling error. Thanks to all for advice. 🙂[New link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=15197934736899229026) As far as connecting-nothing really happening. Emails to people \<100 miles away have gone unanswered. One lady from way down south wooed me, and we’ve chatted on IM a few times, but she’s in a relationship and apparently uses this venue to satisfy her exhibitionistic tendencies, e.g. have webcam, will flash. Not that that’s a bad thing, but a web image of a body 1100 miles away isn’t why I signed up. If I wanted to be a Fapmeister, there are more expeditious routes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/126 "2005-01-15T06:38:28Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > O-Tay! Did the expansion to several topics, but kept it below War & Peace level, corrected spelling error. Thanks to all for advice. 🙂[New link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=15197934736899229026) > > As far as connecting-nothing really happening. Emails to people \<100 miles away have gone unanswered. One lady from way down south wooed me, and we’ve chatted on IM a few times, but she’s in a relationship and apparently uses this venue to satisfy her exhibitionistic tendencies, e.g. have webcam, will flash. > > Not that that’s a bad thing, but a web image of a body 1100 miles away isn’t why I signed up. If I wanted to be a Fapmeister, there are more expeditious routes. 😉 I really like your “I’m really good at…” section. What is a Fapmeister? (I hope I won’t be sorry I asked.) ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/127 "2005-01-15T07:14:55Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I really like your “I’m really good at…” section. > > What is a Fapmeister? (I hope I won’t be sorry I asked.) Thanks! I liked your profile also. A Fapmeister is one who engages in self-pleasuring while viewing images. Sorry if you regret asking. 😉 I figured that by now everyone has seen a flash movie with _fap_ _fap_ _fap_ indicating the off-screen ‘action’. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/128 "2005-01-15T09:00:41Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Thanks! I liked your profile also. A Fapmeister is one who engages in self-pleasuring while viewing images. Sorry if you regret asking. 😉 I figured that by now everyone has seen a flash movie with _fap_ _fap_ _fap_ indicating the off-screen ‘action’. Thank you. In retrospect, I should have been able to figure that out. Now I have a new word, which I will probably get to use sooner than I think. And I’m not sorry I asked. It could have been so much worse, right? ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/129 "2005-01-15T09:12:29Z")
Hooray, critiques! Do me! Do me! _claps hands, seal-like_ [Le link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=2505859169619930079)😃 ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/130 "2005-01-15T17:14:59Z")
OK, I did some more editing. I got rid of a couple things I didn’t like, and added a couple more things, and noticed a couple spelling/grammar errors Word didn’t catch. [Again.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=7575509476138135194) ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/131 "2005-01-15T17:16:37Z")
> [@Tracy Lord](#): > > Hooray, critiques! Do me! Do me! _claps hands, seal-like_ > > [Le link.](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=2505859169619930079)😃 I got nothing. That’s a good profile. Actually, it would be kinda nice if you had some paragraph breaks in the books/etc. section, but that’s a pretty minor issue. I also sent you an invitation to the SDMB real friends circle. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/132 "2005-01-16T20:48:33Z")
**harimad-sol, bouv and Tracy Lord** - good profiles all around. I think all the single yutes in this thread oughta start, you know, emailing each other. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/133 "2005-01-16T20:49:38Z")
By the way, I meant “emailing” in the non-euphemism way. However, what you all do on your own time is your own business. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/134 "2005-01-16T23:44:22Z")
I really think that less is more in these profiles. Just put in a few “automatically cool” tests and see if anyone gets those obscure references that the two of you can relate on. Most people aren’t going to read the very long profiles, and it takes all the mystery out of meeting someone new. Also, the long profiles kind of make people look desperate, which on the internet equals creepy. -wolf in second hand clothing, girls make fun of needy guys to jerks like me ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/135 "2005-01-16T23:50:06Z")
[oh yeah](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=9139514361919281679) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/136 "2005-01-17T02:00:08Z")
\*\*ava \*\*made me make a profile about a week ago while we were chatting and I finally got around to being bored enough to fill it out properly so here it is for anyone interested: [http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=4403156651177033841](http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=4403156651177033841) ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/137 "2005-01-17T03:10:24Z")
**Wolf in second hand clothing** , I like your profile! This will sound more condescending than I intend it to, but it was better than I thought a profile by a guy your age would be. 🙂 **Aesiron** , I’m not quite sure why you bothered to create that profile: you put yourself down so much that I doubt anyone would message you. Actually, the bulk of your profile wasn’t so bad, but calling yourself “lazy, pessimistic, and moody” at the end is horrible and casts a pall on the rest of the profile (IMO, of course). I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you’re probably just trying to be honest, but there’s such a thing as _too_ honest. Also, you don’t indicate what you’re looking for: friends, pen pals, etc. You don’t give anyone any incentive to write to you. You say that **ava** talked you into creating the profile, and I think that shows. If you don’t want to be on the site, you shouldn’t be on the site. If you _do_ want to be on the site, lighten up your language a little, find three nice things to say about yourself and change those adjectives, and post a photo. And for og’s sake, man, take at _least_ the OK Cupid test! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/138 "2005-01-17T03:32:28Z")
The only cynical part of my profile is the footer and that is there only because I forgot to change it from its original setting when I had no intention of ever filling it out fully and the rest of my profile, while not cheery, isn’t what I would consider gloomy either. Candid, yes, and maybe a little dry but not especially depressing. The rest – posting a photo, answering more questions, taking quizzes – I’ve just not had the time for. I play with it only when I’m bored and have got time to kill but at the moment, I’m posting to the SDMB, reading LiveJournal and a second messageboard, and talking in IMs. I can only multi-task so much. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/139 "2005-01-17T03:39:39Z")
> [@wolf in second hand clothing](#): > > I really think that less is more in these profiles. It’s not how much you write; it’s what you write about. It’s true, long-windedness is not a virtue, but if you need a few more words and can use them properly, it’s not necessarily bad. Yours is good. **Aesiron** , everything **Misnomer** said is true. Change the adjectives and you’ve got a good start. I’ve also sent both of you the invitation to the SDMB real friends club. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258/140 "2005-01-17T04:33:27Z")
I redid the footer immediately but didn’t change anything else as I don’t see where my profile is really all that pessimistic or where I’m slamming myself. I accepted the invitation, by the way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/okcupid-what-to-do-when-nobody-is-messaging-you/284258.md?page=8)