# Oklahoma puts the "God" back in "God damn it, this sucks!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2024, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416 "2024-06-27T21:48:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/21 "2024-06-28T02:59:38Z")
That’s “Another Testament of Jesus Christ”. I think the Apocrypha is included in the Ethiopian canon (at least some of the Apocrypha). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/22 "2024-06-28T05:46:35Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > “Schools are instructed to refer to the Bible and the Ten Commandments for their “substantial influence on our nation’s founders and the foundational principles of our Constitution.” “See this book, kids? This is the book that our nation’s founding fathers risked their lives to worship as they saw fit, or not at all.” ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/23 "2024-06-28T07:32:37Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > “Schools are instructed to refer to the Bible" > I, for one, can’t wait to see the war over exactly which Bible is the Bible being referred to there! What are you talking about? It very clearly says **the** Bible, so it clearly means our Bible. And by our Bible I mean my Bible. What are you, some kind of communist or Protestant? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/24 "2024-06-28T07:38:49Z")
I suddenly have a fear of hearing “Die, heretic scum!” and getting pushed off a bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/25 "2024-06-28T08:35:35Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > The version of the Holy Bible The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints uses for English is the King James version. The King James version is just fine, and I’m not even a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I just love the language in it. Legend has it that Shakespeare wrote some Psalms, based on the translations, but nothing to confirm that. Regardless, all those “thees,” and “thous,” and especially, “begats,” make it my favourite version. I can imagine some Oklahoma child coming home from school. “Mommy, today, we learned some ‘begats’ from the Bible. What’s a ‘begat’?” “Um … darling … they mean … wait, um …” “And what does it mean when they said, ‘they wanted to lie with them’? Like, did they mean they didn’t want to tell the truth?” “Okay, well … wait … um … it’s … complicated?” Good luck teaching the Bible to grade-schoolers, Oklahoma. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/26 "2024-06-28T08:44:10Z")
I should hope so since this is the King James Bible version of Ezekiel 23:20, _For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses._ While these _New Living Translation_ _She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse._ _NET Bible_ _She lusted after their genitals–as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions._ will make for some interesting dinner table conversations! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/27 "2024-06-28T09:02:51Z")
Matthew 6:6 (KJV): > [@](#): > > But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. “Mommy, does this mean that we don’t have to go to church on Sundays any more?” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/28 "2024-06-28T09:07:33Z")
And what about the New Testament telling women to be quiet? That’ll be a fun thing for female teachers! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/29 "2024-06-28T09:18:49Z")
Good point, @Monty . I’d imagine that these Oklahoma legislators are looking at the Bible as only four books: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Okay, maybe we can extend that to the Acts and to Paul’s Epistles, excluding maybe the letter to Philemon. But Revelation is definitely in the curriculum. It’s the Old Testament that’s going to give them trouble. And if they’re going to teach “the Bible,” then they cannot exclude the Old Testament. There’s a lot more in there than Noah’s Ark, and Daniel in the Lion’s Den, and Joshua knocking down the walls of Jericho. Heck, the Old Testament is three times the size of the New Testament. Sodom and Gomorrah! God and the Devil gambling (_gambling!_) on Job! The Song of Solomon, and its references! Hey, let’s look at Song of Solomon 5:4 (KJV): " My beloved put in his hand by the hole _of the door_, and my bowels were moved for him." Fun stuff, kids! Poop jokes in the Bible! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/30 "2024-06-28T09:53:08Z")
You can look at Song Of Solomon all you want, but in school they will be taught select verses that reenforce conservative beliefs, and any attempts to bring up other verses not in the curriculum will be seen as a disruption and dealt with accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/31 "2024-06-28T10:51:55Z")
Plot twist: turns out Ryan Walters is getting a kickback from the ACLU and The Freedom From Religion Foundation. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/32 "2024-06-28T12:36:09Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > What if some Muslims required that the Koran be taught in schools, and that all schools have the pillars of the Muslim faith? I’m sure they would say “The Koran has no ‘substantial influence on our nation’s founders and the foundational principles of our Constitution.’ This isn’t about religion; it’s about history. It’s about the historical and cultural importance of the Bible.” Which maybe opens the door for “complying” with this order by teaching about how, historically, attempts have been made to use the Bible to threaten religious liberty. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/33 "2024-06-28T12:38:51Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > This isn’t about religion; it’s about history. It’s about the historical and cultural importance of the Bible.” Maybe the Bible in question needs to be Jefferson’s personal Bible. > **[Jefferson Bible](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible)** > > The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth, commonly referred to as the Jefferson Bible, is one of two religious works constructed by Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson compiled the manuscripts but never published them. The first, The Philosophy of Jesus of Nazareth, was completed in 1804, but no copies exist today. The second, The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth, was completed in 1820 by cutting and pasting, with a razor and glue, numerous sections from the New Testament as extractions of the ---
**Author:** ![Tfletch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tfletch1/32/5340_2.png) [@Tfletch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tfletch1)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/34 "2024-06-28T13:36:33Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > You can look at Song Of Solomon all you want, but in school they will be taught select verses that reenforce conservative beliefs, and any attempts to bring up other verses not in the curriculum will be seen as a disruption and dealt with accordingly. Hell, even the same verses can be taught differently. You can teach Genesis from an scientific perspective. “See kids, the earth was formless and desolate at first because the matter was still expanding and hadn’t cooled yet. There was no concentrated light until the sun was fully formed 4.6 billion years ago.” If some asshole says that you have to teach it word for word, just say, “My Christian beliefs state that I cannot bear false witness. God has showed us how his creation occurred and to take the Bible that literally is a sin. You are encroaching on my Christian beliefs that the earth was formed 4.5 billion years ago.” First amendment. Done. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/35 "2024-06-28T16:33:45Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > You can look at Song Of Solomon all you want, but in school they will be taught select verses that reenforce conservative beliefs, and any attempts to bring up other verses not in the curriculum will be seen as a disruption and dealt with accordingly. Good luck with that. Any efforts to keep a middle schooler away from subversive anti-establishment smut are in vain. Just write the numbers of a few choice verses on the stall in the boys bathroom and the administration will be looking to ban the book within in a week. Maybe an exaggeration, but I don’t think that the powers that be have thought too hard about what it means to bring the bible out of the protected confines of the true believers into the world at large. They probably have a Jack Chick view of the world that says that all someone needs to do is be exposed to the bible and they will see the light and become Christian. But reality doesn’t work that way and tweens will do whatever they can to subvert authority. In any case I don’t think it will get that far. I expect a court to put an injunction on the order before the school systems can even start pricing bibles. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/36 "2024-06-28T16:59:06Z")
wow the "yall Qaeda"is going strong .cause they think trump will win … ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/37 "2024-06-28T19:37:18Z")
Catholics use the Apocrypha, and when I attended an Episcopal church, we sometimes had reading from it in the service. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/38 "2024-06-28T19:38:01Z")
Psst: Thomas Jefferson had a Koran. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/39 "2024-06-28T19:38:52Z")
That was actually a message to that congregation, because the women wouldn’t stop chit-chatting when the service began. Yeah, it’s been misinterpreted so much over the centuries. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2024, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416/40 "2024-06-28T20:27:39Z")
This is outrageous of course. But the actual result is going to make kids even less interested in the Bible than they already are. It’s like these people don’t even understand children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oklahoma-puts-the-god-back-in-god-damn-it-this-sucks/1003416.md?page=3)