# Olaf's dilemma. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 21, 2013, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893 "2013-01-21T07:48:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rollo\_Tomasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Rollo\_Tomasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rollo_Tomasi)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/21 "2013-01-24T01:07:33Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > … wow, that went from an interesting thought experiment to creepy rather quickly. Anyone got a link for the previous threads someone implied exist? More specifically the part the conversation became about a creepy, autistic sounding old guy refusing to move out? [First thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=676674) [First Olaf thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=676819) ---
**Author:** ![Rollo\_Tomasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Rollo\_Tomasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rollo_Tomasi)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/22 "2013-01-24T01:12:47Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I try not to think about that time. What will we do when we are no longer alive? You really should think about it, especially since you are completely dependent on them. I assume you’re not planning on packing it in as soon as your parents do. I strongly recommend that you talk to a professional about this. _Not_ random people on the Internet. You need to talk to a mental health expert (preferably a psychiatrist) who has far more knowledge than random Internet schmoes. But you would help yourself greatly if you would understand that your problem is far, far from unsolvable. You could begin turning things around tomorrow if you were interested in doing so. If you’re not interested, then that’s your own decision, not something that was forced on you. Take responsibility for your own life. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/23 "2013-01-24T01:42:25Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > > > Have you ever talked to anyone in real life about your situation? A real-life friend, perhaps? A rabbi, priest or other religious official? An actual counselor? Because I think you could really benefit from speaking to someone about this. (I admit that I’m curious whether you use the “Olaf” metaphor if you ever did so.) > > Everyone. In real life, on Russian forums, on English forums. But no one can help me. After all, some problems are unsolvable. First of all, stop talking to people on the internet. You need to talk to real-life, in-person people. Someone suggested a psychiatrist. Find one or find some other sort of mental health professional to help you with this. You can grow up and move on with your life but you need to take action to do so. Perhaps it starts with you getting a real job outside the home. Perhaps it starts with medication. But that’s why you need to talk to someone; so that the two of you can figure out what the next step is. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/24 "2013-01-24T06:01:39Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Few people can understand me without being in my position. As I have said I dream(ed) about being a writer, thus I can find the best expression to fit my situation. Why don’t you write a story about a guy who gets released from prison and goes on to live a happy and productive life all by himself? Two rules: there can be no prison guards in the story and he can’t do anything that would get him sent back to prison. You can even call him Olaf if you want. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/25 "2013-01-24T22:20:30Z")
> [@Rollo\_Tomasi](#): > > I strongly recommend that you talk to a professional about this. _Not_ random people on the Internet. You need to talk to a mental health expert (preferably a psychiatrist) who has far more knowledge than random Internet schmoes. Olaf has been in therapy since '92, and in care of psychiatrist since '97. Currently he is taking 75mg Effexor/day. He wishes to take more but his guards are afraid it may harm him. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/26 "2013-01-24T22:22:38Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > First of all, stop talking to people on the internet. You need to talk to real-life, in-person people. Someone suggested a psychiatrist. My current therapist is far from where I live. I see him rarely. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/27 "2013-01-24T22:23:41Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Why don’t you write a story about a guy who gets released from prison and goes on to live a happy and productive life all by himself? Two rules: there can be no prison guards in the story and he can’t do anything that would get him sent back to prison. You can even call him Olaf if you want. That fantasy is too far from reality. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/28 "2013-01-24T22:30:47Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > That fantasy is too far from reality. CC I followed your other thread and I do believe that for you the above, at least right now, truly is not a reality. But the “guards” are presumably quite a bit older than “Olaf.” Which means that at some point they will probably shuffle off this mortal coil, leaving Olaf to deal with life on his own. What is Olaf doing to prepare for this eventuality? How do you think he will handle it? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/29 "2013-01-24T22:32:39Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > After all, some problems are unsolvable. There’s a difference between a problem with no solution and a problem with solutions I find distasteful. About your only other option here is to find a sugar daddy/mommy. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/30 "2013-01-24T22:42:32Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Olaf has been in therapy since '92, and in care of psychiatrist since '97. Currently he is taking 75mg Effexor/day. He wishes to take more but his guards are afraid it may harm him. It might help your grip on sanity to drop the pretense (i.e., fantasy) that all of this is happening to some guy named Olaf in a Swedish prison. Are you capable of talking about your situation in the first person? ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/31 "2013-01-24T22:53:53Z")
What the fuck are you ever going to write about if you don’t live a life? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/32 "2013-01-24T23:05:28Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Which means that at some point they will probably shuffle off this mortal coil, leaving Olaf to deal with life on his own. What is Olaf doing to prepare for this eventuality? How do you think he will handle it? I do not think this far into the future. After all, do we know what will happen to us after we are no longer alive? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/33 "2013-01-24T23:07:01Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Are you capable of talking about your situation in the first person? I am, but after all my problem is insolvable. There are unsolvable problems. For instance the fact that our lives are finite. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/34 "2013-01-24T23:41:47Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I do not think this far into the future. After all, do we know what will happen to us after we are no longer alive? I’m talking about your parents dying and leaving you alone to fend for yourself. Not you dying. You’re the one that keeps throwing out hypotheticals, and you’re the one who claims to want to be a writer - so answer the hypothetical. What happens if both guards die within the next six months, and Olaf is automatically granted parole. What do you think Olaf will do? Will he be able to handle it? Or is he forever in bondage to the guards due to Stockholm syndrome and the bainwashing he has been subjected to? C’mon man. You’re the one who said, > [@](#): > > Given my passion for writing, I have to use literary analogies. and, > [@](#): > > As I have said I dream(ed) about being a writer, thus I can find the best expression to fit my situation. Use your imagination and _write_. You’re expecting hypothetical answers from everyone else here, shooting each one down while at the same time refusing to come up with anything, even pure make-believe fantasy, yourself. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/35 "2013-01-24T23:53:29Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m talking about your parents dying and leaving you alone to fend for yourself. Not you dying. > You’re the one that keeps throwing out hypotheticals, and you’re the one who claims to want to be a writer - so answer the hypothetical. There are issues I prefer not to think about. That is one of them. If I will die, I will be in a very bad situation for some time – as I follow less then 5% of Jewish Law. But in Judaism there is no eternal damnation. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/36 "2013-01-24T23:58:00Z")
Jesus Christ. Your problem is you have a hard time moving out of your parents’ house? And you consider that unsolvable? You need to get some serious perspective. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/37 "2013-01-25T00:00:34Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Your problem is you have a hard time moving out of your parents’ house? And you consider that unsolvable? You need to get some serious perspective. Fortunately they are not abusive in any way. They never were abusive. They are nice people. Thus my life is not **that** bad. But I do miss freedom somewhat. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/38 "2013-01-25T00:03:35Z")
I’m not implying that they’re abusive. I’m implying you need to put your big boy pants on and get on with your life. My apologies if it’s mental illness that keeps you from doing so. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/39 "2013-01-25T00:11:32Z")
If you life is unsolvable, then why the OP? Do you really think your situation is so unique that no one can possibly understand it without it being presented in a poorly constructed parable? I have never been in your shoes before, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the dilemma. The dilemma isn’t that abstract. “Do I stay in one hell or do I jump ship and risk a worse one?” is something most of us have faced at least once in our lives. Maybe the ship is a bad relationship. Maybe it’s a dead-end job or college major. Maybe it’s something as simple as whether to take the damn pill or not. We’ve all been in own Olaf’s dilemmas. The only difference between you and the vast majority of people is that we did not give ourselves an eternity to make a decision. Every day that you spend on this problem, the more of an intractable problem it becomes. You aren’t too special to work for minimum wage. You aren’t too fragile to live in a rooming house somewhere. If you don’t know how to make it on your own, the internet is a wonderful resource for just about everything. Use it. If you have already written off the above as options, then you should stop talking about your life in terms of a dilemma. Someone in a dilemma has options. It seems to me that you refuse to entertain any of them. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893/40 "2013-01-25T00:14:03Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If you life is unsolvable, then why the OP? > > Do you really think your situation is so unique that no one can possibly understand it without it being presented in a poorly constructed parable? Not unique. Many adults in Jewish, Russian, Muslim, Indian, Chinese cultures are controlled by their parents. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olafs-dilemma/647893.md?page=3)