# Olbermann rant about Michael Chertoff's GUT **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 13, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595 "2007-07-13T03:17:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/1 "2007-07-13T03:17:33Z")
I just caught this on the news [MSNBC/Olbermann](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19732730/) While I know it’s a partisan rant by Olbermann, I have to say that he expressed my feeling exactly. When are these partisan hacks in the Bush Admistration gonna learn that they only shoot themselves in the foot when they do this. Surely the general populace isn’t totally stupid. Or maybe I’m too partisan for my own good. Chertoff’s remarks from this week include > [@](#): > > Chertoff told the Chicago Tribune this week that his “gut feeling” was that the United States faced a heightened risk of attack this summer. > > But he told NBC on Thursday: “We don’t have any specific information about an imminent or near-term attack on the homeland. We’re looking at the strategic picture over the next six months to a year. We’re evaluating where that is.” > > He said his concern the United States could be entering a period of heightened risk was based on greater al Qaeda activity in Pakistan and Africa, an increase in public messages from militant figures including Osama bin Laden’s second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahri, and a history of summer attacks. Chertoff should have been gone after Katrina. But he lingers on. Sorry, not an over-the-top rant. Almost sad. Sad for the state of my current government. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/2 "2007-07-13T03:46:39Z")
Sometime between 7ish and 11:45 today on NPR Chertoff said he thought of his ‘gut instinct’ more as an ‘informed conclusion’. Can we say 'backpedal into a steaming load of horseshit? Hunches are not based on facts at all, let alone reasoned thought. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/3 "2007-07-13T03:52:18Z")
Is he getting enough fiber? Is there some way we can insist that he does? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/4 "2007-07-13T04:00:34Z")
It was a pretty good rant, as they go, but weak in comparison with past tirades. And some of the interviews he conducts are too reminiscent of Fox Gnaws. Or Kent Brockman “So, Doctor, would you advise our listeners to break open their neighbor’s heads and feast on the gooey insides?” “Yes, I would, Kent” ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/5 "2007-07-13T04:07:01Z")
All that money wasted on a terrorism defense system when we had this secret weapon all the time. Homeland security is now assured. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/6 "2007-07-13T04:13:34Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] It was a pretty good rant, as they go, but weak in comparison with past tirades. [/QUOTE] I know. I’m running out of gas. While I know you didn’t mean it, I DID have more energy when I said [Going out on a limb. There AIN’T any WMD, you stupid shits.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=176694&highlight=fuhrer) But, hey, we’re all young and foolish sometime. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/7 "2007-07-13T04:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Is he getting enough fiber? Is there some way we can insist that he does? [/QUOTE] I’m sure there’s a secret prison somewhere in Rumania where it could arranged. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/8 "2007-07-13T04:16:41Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] I know. I’m running out of gas. While I know you didn’t mean it, I DID have more energy when I said [Going out on a limb. There AIN’T any WMD, you stupid shits.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=176694&highlight=fuhrer) But, hey, we’re all young and foolish sometime. [/QUOTE] Oh, you meant Olbermann. [Emily L.] Nevermind[/Emily L.] ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/9 "2007-07-13T04:25:54Z")
The brilliance and perspicacity of our mods goes without saying, its almost vulgar to refer to it, like farting aloud in church. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/10 "2007-07-13T04:27:18Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] I’m sure there’s a secret prison somewhere in Rumania where it could arranged. [/QUOTE] I was actually thinking of him _eating_ the fiber, I hadn’t considered alternative means of introduction. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/11 "2007-07-13T06:32:08Z")
> [@MSNBC](#): > > Chertoff told the Chicago Tribune this week that his “gut feeling” was that the United States faced a heightened risk of attack this summer. When I saw this same headline on my CNN email alerts, my first thought was, “must be a vote coming up soon they want people to ignore.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/12 "2007-07-13T15:30:10Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] I’m sure there’s a secret prison somewhere in Rumania where it could arranged. [/QUOTE] You misspelled restaurant. And China. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/13 "2007-07-13T16:11:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Chertoff told the Chicago Tribune this week that his “gut feeling” was that the United States faced a heightened risk of attack this summer. Uh huh. > [@](#): > > **Federal officials have information suggesting that al Qaeda has people in the United States preparing to mount a large-scale terrorist attack this summer, sources familiar with the information said yesterday.** [Summer of 2004.](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55705-2004May25.html) > [@](#): > > **Airlines in the United States have been warned that the al-Qaeda terror network could carry out hijackings or suicide bombings by the end of the summer.** [Summer of 2003.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3109117.stm) Pardon me if I stop paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/14 "2007-07-13T16:25:24Z")
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] Pardon me if I stop paying attention. [/QUOTE] You’ve still got your [duct tape and plastic sheeting](http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0302140308feb14,0,6113119.story) in the basement though, right? My gut tells me that anything less could be _unsafe_. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/15 "2007-07-13T16:48:29Z")
It’s a win-win for the administration every time they pull this stunt. If the attack comes, they can say “See, we told you! We told you there’d be an attack but once those wimpy Democrats took control of Congress, this was bound to happen.” If the attack doesn’t come they can say “See, in spite of those namby-pamby Democrats, we’ve kept you safe from the boogeyman.” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/16 "2007-07-13T17:11:46Z")
I see he’s from the Stephen Colbert school of governing. You can’t even satirize this administration because, to the horror of most, they behave even worse than the joke you’ve made. Let’s nominate The Onion for a Pulitzer. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/17 "2007-07-13T17:47:29Z")
Waddya expect? Being full of shit often produces a gut feeling. Oh, well. At least they’ve stopped dicking with the Terrorism Alert Color. (Did so right after the 2004 election. As some of us predicted they would. :p.) Must’ve been a slow rant day for Olbermann. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/18 "2007-07-13T17:56:52Z")
The whole point of the “Al Qaida strongest than since 9/11” propaganda released at this moment in time wasn’t so much to scare the American public about another attack on U.S.soil, as it was to bolster support for spending more blood and treasure in the Mesopotamian Vortex. Every single article (all based on an AP story I think) I read about this before today consisted of two different stories. The first half laid the smokescreen by mentioning some intel report warning about Al Qaida’s new-found power emanating from the Afghanistan/Pakistan border area. Then suddenly, halfway through the [story](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070712/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_terror_threat) we get this: > [@](#): > > The Bush administration has repeatedly cited al-Qaida as a key justification for continuing the fight in Iraq. > > “The No. 1 enemy in Iraq is al-Qaida,” White House press secretary Tony Snow said Wednesday. “Al-Qaida continues to be the chief organizer of mayhem within Iraq, the chief organization for killing innocent Iraqis.” > > The findings could bolster the president’s hand at a moment when support on Capitol Hill for the war is eroding and the administration is struggling to defend its decision for a military buildup in Iraq. A progress report that the White House is releasing to Congress this week is expected to indicate scant progress on the political and military benchmarks set for Iraq. WTF? Iraq? What does that have to do with this?? Oh. I see now! You are actually going to spin this into another argument to stay in Iraq for many more corner-turns and Friedmans, aren’t you? (BTW, which is longer a “corner-turn” or a “Friedman”?) I guess this line of bull will work as long as most of the dunderheads believe that those fighting in Iraq as “Al Qaida” are of the same group that attacked the USA in 2001. At least when [CNN.com](http://CNN.com) gave [their version](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/13/terror.threat/index.html) of the government handout today they lopped off the part about Iraq entirely. On a side-note: does Chertoff’s gut turn different colors to indicate the present threat level? And on a side to the side-note, I want to take this opportunity to say again how ridiculous the color-coded warning system is if for no other reason than it is effectively binary-- a choice between only two levels of danger-- since it only moves back-and-forth between Yellow and Orange. It will never be Blue or Green, and it will never be Red unless we have already been attacked, at which point it doesn’t matter. So that’s the best they can do as a warning system “Yes” or “No”, “Black” or “White”? I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me coming from an administration so discriminating that it labels every entity in the world as “with us” or “against us”. (on edit-- did they really stop using the dandy candy-colored alert system? Did they just change it to: Yes or No?) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/19 "2007-07-13T18:47:35Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] **Olbermann rant about Michael Chertoff’s GUT** [/QUOTE] Versatile guy, that Chertoff. Had no idea he was a theoretical physicist. Taking bets on whether he beats out Stephen Hawking for recognized completion of the Grand Unification Theory! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595/20 "2007-07-13T19:13:32Z")
Aw, man, I was hoping this would link to a video of Keith Olbermann making fun of Chertoff for being fat. "Over the course of the last six years of this administration, it has become increasingly clear that Michael Chertoff is a fatty fat-ass McPhaterson. Not since the days of William Howard Taft has the White House been host to such a shameless display of corpulence. Mr. Chertoff, **I say to you:** lose some weight, blob butt. I’m Keith Olbermann. Good night, and good luck." [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olbermann-rant-about-michael-chertoffs-gut/411595.md?page=2)