# Old bits that come into your head **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [June 29, 2022, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149 "2022-06-29T22:08:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/21 "2022-06-30T16:00:45Z")
Whenever I hear someone mention cocaine all I think about is Cosby’s joke about it: > I said to a guy, “Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful,” and he said, “Because it intensifies your personality.” I said, “Yes, but what if you’re an a\*\*hole?” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/22 "2022-06-30T16:13:21Z")
“Just think of your secretary…” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/23 "2022-06-30T17:38:43Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I retire tomorrow. My release from prison is imminent! Should’ve retired today, then you could have had a three-day weekend (rimshot). Anyway, [congratulations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTE5sQGi6io&t=64s). ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/24 "2022-06-30T17:45:41Z")
I guess that’s easier than dumping a bucket of green slime over their head… ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/25 "2022-06-30T18:21:11Z")
Any time anyone says “to the station!” (or words to that effect): [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wR3xwENK7Jo/hqdefault.jpg "Motorhead on The Young Ones - Ace Of Spades HQ") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR3xwENK7Jo) ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/26 "2022-06-30T19:23:25Z")
> [@dorvann](#): > > Whenever I hear someone mention cocaine all I think about is Cosby’s joke about it… I think of Tallulah Bankhead: “Cocaine isn’t habit-forming. I should know. I’ve been using it for years.” Of course, the truth is a bit murkier: [Cocaine Isn’t Habit-Forming. I Should Know. I’ve Been Using It for Years – Quote Investigator®](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/07/06/habit/) > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > I guess that’s easier than dumping a bucket of green slime over their head… Did someone say “green slime?” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Izr3Cidaz1M/hqdefault.jpg "Green slime (Richard Delvecchio)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izr3Cidaz1M) ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/27 "2022-06-30T20:06:20Z")
I grew up without cable so that never occurred to me. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/28 "2022-06-30T22:00:43Z")
Whenever there’s an announcement saying “Emergency,” I immediately think “Everybody to get from street.” ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/29 "2022-06-30T22:07:29Z")
VERY politically incorrect, but whenever someone asks if anyone has a joke, I always mentally think: “So 2 [gay men] was fucking an alligator in the back of a bus…” -Buddy Hackett on his HBO comedy special WAAAAAY back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/30 "2022-06-30T22:41:33Z")
Man, I LOVE that. I used to have it memorized when I was a kid, I thought it was so cool. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/31 "2022-06-30T22:46:51Z")
When someone says, I forgot what I was going to say, my mind wants me to blurt out, “Well, it must not have been very important!”. Harkening back to the old Steve Martin routine. Oh now I remember… I’m radio-active. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2022, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/32 "2022-06-30T23:45:27Z")
I use that one a lot myself. Also, from the Steve Martin movie “The Man with Two Brains”: somebody says to his character “You can’t play God!” And he responds “SOMEbody has to!” So, if for example I’m emptying the dishwasher, and my wife says “You didn’t have to do that”… SOMEbody has to! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2022, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149/33 "2022-07-01T02:53:52Z")
A post about Texas suggesting that slavery should be called ‘involuntary relocation’ reminded me of this: > Er, let’s make the semantics more palatable. (In an era of garbage collectors who are Sanitation Disposal Engineers, truck drivers who are Transportation Facilitation Executives, and janitors who are Housing Maintenance Overseers, a spade is seldom a spade. Black Panthers please note.) Norman Mogart was an Entertainment Liaison Agent. > > Pfui. Norman was a pimp. - Harlan Ellison, ‘The Place With No Name’ (1969) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-bits-that-come-into-your-head/967149.md?page=1)