# "Old Fashioned" Etiquette **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 19, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837 "2011-09-19T16:30:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/121 "2011-09-26T23:43:43Z")
She means well, but she’s incredibly sheltered and has to be reminded that not everybody does stuff the same way. There’s no real malice behind it, other than not being used to the idea that people are a lot more different than she thinks they are. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/122 "2011-09-26T23:57:57Z")
Make faces when someone tells you of their own traditions? I’m sorry, but there’s no excuse for that, incredibly sheltered or not. Once you’re an adult, you learn to treat people and their traditions with respect. I’m sure that’s somewhere in one of your mother-in-law’s guides to etiquette. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/123 "2011-09-27T00:17:35Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > ask any military man if an officer or segeant brooks them. personally, a scowling tiger-look is bad but acceptable if done uniformly by an entire unit. So what if you are in the presence of a lady and she makes a witticism? Not allowed to smile? Seems rude. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/124 "2011-09-27T14:31:35Z")
> [@UntouchedTakeaway](#): > > 1. Wedding gifts were displayed at the bride’s home for public viewing - even the checks. You put black pieces of paper over the amounts, and then put a heavy piece of glass on top of them to discourage nosy aunts > > UT Old Southerners still do this (although I haven’t seen checks displayed) - I’ve certainly been invited a few times to view the gifts at somebody’s mom’s house. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/125 "2011-09-27T14:55:02Z")
> [@MacSpon](#): > > One part about this that’s always puzzled me is: what counts as “indoors”? If I walk into a department store (or even, gasp, a mall), do I have to remove my hat? Good question. Malls are tough but I would take my hat off there. I think the point is that a man’s hat is functional, to keep off rain and you take it off when not needed. But you don’t ever HAVE to remove your hat. It’s not like the etiquette police will show up (unless you are in high school.) Removing your hat shows that you respect the odd, old etiquette rules and some people like that. If you don’t want to be part of that group then do as you please. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/126 "2011-09-27T15:10:44Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > So what if you are in the presence of a lady and she makes a witticism? Not allowed to smile? Seems rude. _Ladies_ do not make witticisms. 😃😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/127 "2011-09-27T15:15:40Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > _Ladies_ do not make witticisms. > > 😃😉😃 It might not be a joke. Remember, this is a guide for cadets. Maybe ladies _don’t_ make jokes meant for cadets and other inferior males to laugh at. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/128 "2011-09-27T15:48:13Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Bah. If I wear a hat, it’s because it’s part of the outfit, not necessarily for warmth. Why should I take it off? And where would I put it anyway? Not warmth, protection. If you wear your hat in my house, you’re saying that you don’t trust my roof to not leak on your head. Or that you’re on your way to a combover 'do… ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/129 "2011-09-27T22:21:38Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Make faces when someone tells you of their own traditions? I’m sorry, but there’s no excuse for that, incredibly sheltered or not. Once you’re an adult, you learn to treat people and their traditions with respect. I’m sure that’s somewhere in one of your mother-in-law’s guides to etiquette. Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m so used to having to accommodate her bad behavior in regard to these things that I’ve mostly forgotten how bad the behavior is. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/130 "2011-09-28T02:51:00Z")
We need to update those hat-removal rules. These days, many men wear hats to hide their receeding hairline. Asking such a man to remove his hat seems akin to asking William Shatner to take off his toupee. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/131 "2011-09-28T08:18:43Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > So what if you are in the presence of a lady and she makes a witticism? Not allowed to smile? Seems rude. i guess, and there are times when you’re supposed to be at ease but some people (not just germans) don’t like showing any emotion outside their homes, even towards family. all the same, some rules would seem odd. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/132 "2011-09-30T07:28:10Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > you don’t ever HAVE to remove your hat. It’s not like the etiquette police will show up (unless you are in high school.) One word: Church. A man - gentleman or not - does not wear any kind of headwear in a (christian) church. Period. ---
**Author:** ![C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C.Montgomery_Burns)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/133 "2011-09-30T15:32:28Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > One word: Church. > > A man - gentleman or not - does not wear any kind of headwear in a (christian) church. Period. That one I agree with. I always wear a ball cap everywhere to cover up my baldness, and even I take it off during church. The only other time in public that I take off my hat is when soldiers pass by. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/134 "2011-09-30T15:46:17Z")
I do like a letter written to Miss Manners once: “Dear Miss Manners: If there is a group of people visiting someone in a small apartment and one of them is indisposed and nips into the powder room to relieve himself in a spectacularly noisy fashion, should he issue an apology when he emerges?” “Dear Reader: It would be impolite to make any mention of spectacular noises heard behind a bathroom door. Neither the people in the next room nor the noisemaker need make any reference to such. According to proper etiquette, no one heard anything, so the noises did not officially happen.” words to that effect. Good luck with that one, nowadays! They should just be glad they aren’t invited into the bathroom to peer into the commode to see what caused all those noises. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837/135 "2011-09-30T19:13:10Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > . . . According to proper etiquette, no one heard anything, so the noises did not officially happen." words to that effect. Good luck with that one, nowadays! They should just be glad they aren’t invited into the bathroom to peer into the commode to see what caused all those noises. I can just hear the announcement “Whew! Y’all be sure to vote for that one on [ratemypoo.com](http://ratemypoo.com) tomorrow!” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-fashioned-etiquette/596837.md?page=6)