# ! ! !Old Glory! ! ! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902 "2000-04-04T04:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Federalist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Federalist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Federalist)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/41 "2000-04-09T08:35:00Z")
Great thing about America: freedom of speech. Would defend Satan to the grave? I sure the hell wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Federalist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Federalist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Federalist)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/42 "2000-04-09T08:38:00Z")
water- You are bitter. Is that accusation accurate? Let Satan defend Satan. I’m already tired of wasting my time arguing with his grunts. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/43 "2000-04-09T19:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Federalist: > > \*\*WHOA NELLY! Hold your horses!! \*\* I think you’ve only got one of them little sea horses in your mitts there. But keep pulling at em, maybe one day it’ll turn into the pony that you still ask your mommy for. > [@](#): > > \*\*I was simply making an observation. I guess it would serve me best to beg for mercy, for I attacked a straight dope “elder.” \*\* I don’t expect logic to penetrate the dim-witted likes of you, but maybe this will somehow make it through a crack in your cranium against all odds: You have responded to every post here. I made one post before you opened your insipid mouth. And subsequently, you have responded to almost every other post on this thread. Aside from the irony that you are hijacking your own thread (Ooh, flag burning… You’re quite the intellectualist coming up with that brand new, previously undebated topic - What’s next, a chat about what’s wrong with the Whig party?), you are also doing what you accused me of doing (not very well, I might add). > [@](#): > > \*\*And there is no need to get defensive; am I here to stir up trouble? Perhaps. Perhaps not. \*\* Are you a moronic leprotic crotch goblin? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I know where my money is… > [@](#): > > \*\*Either way I’ll criticize who I want, when I want. Do not take it personally. \*\* You MADE it personal, butt plug. And your criticism of me rings quite hollow. You probably have a boner right now, thinking that I actually acknowledged your pitiful existence. Well, put it back in your trousers, sheep shagger. I’ll be done with you soon enough. If you deign to criticize without a good reason, you end up looking like an ass. And if this was a kids birthday party, you would certainly be sore from the kiddies pinning the tail on the nearest donkey, dig? > [@](#): > > \*\*Your impressive, almost perpetual flow of gibberish doesn’t impress me. \*\* Wow, that’s too bad. I mean, I live to impress the likes of you… I have yet to see a post of yours which impresses me on any level. I have yet to have my thoughts provoked by you. I have yet to find you amusing (laughing at you is not the same as laughing with you). I don’t see anything indicative of intelligence beyond the 8th grade level (which I had in the second grade, chump), I see nothing at all. In fact, I have never seen someone have all of their posts lack a sense of purpose before in the history of message boards. In fact, after 22 posts, the only impression that I got from you is that you have a problem with me. And trust me, I’m crying a river over here because of it. It will take a lot more than that to impress ANYONE here, I assure you. > [@](#): > > \*\*Neither does your intimidation. \*\* Like I care. > [@](#): > > \*\*See ya around. \*\* Oh yeah, that reminds me. When I do see you around next, I have to give you that five spot I owe your mom for services rendered. She was so complimentary too, telling me I was way better than you and all… > [@](#): > > **Instead of reading a paragraph from 1,000 books, read 10 from cover to cover. Get it?** Well, if you remove all of the picture books from your library, you’re left with only _The Cat in the Hat_ on your shelf, and that doesn’t count as being read because the crayon marks cover up all of the text anyway. Now, be gone, child. I have much more important things to do than to discipline children. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![mrsphlem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b77776/32.png) [@mrsphlem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrsphlem)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/44 "2000-04-09T20:51:00Z")
Federalist–Live and learn. Satan–Man, am I gonna avoid pissing you off.(Loved the Whig joke.) Sqweels–(re–effigies) If I believed in reincarnation, I’d be convinced you were Solomon once. If you want to submit it to Congress, I’ll sign the petition. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Federalist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Federalist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Federalist)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/45 "2000-04-09T22:56:00Z")
satan- Blah blah blah. Does that remind you of anything? If you said your last post, you’d of been correct. You don’t have to write novels, buddy. Save your text for someone who cares. OH YEAH, and the Whig joke, that’s a classic. Mind if I use it? Not all text must be disected, but if that’s what bursts your bubble…go right ahead. Quality over Quantity. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/46 "2000-04-09T23:24:00Z")
Federalist, 1. As I’ve mentioned, I’m not here to defend Satan. I couldn’t care less if he gets flamed. 2. You still haven’t provided any evidence that your original “observation” was based on anything more than your imagination. 3. If you want to make that sort of statement about a poster, you are supposed to do it in the pit. You complained in this post about people getting slightly off topic, then you go and start a whole new conversation that doesn’t even belong in this forum. 4. No I am not bitter. I was confused as to your original “observation” since there was nothing in this thread that would even hint that Satan “responds to every post”. Now I am annoyed that you continue to make gratuitous insults about Satan for no apparent reason in the wrong place. 5. As for quality vs. quantity, I have seen neither from you, and I think Satan’s flames of you are pretty quality flames. Nothing incredible, but certainly far better quality. 6. You registered in March, about the time when Satan substantially cut down on posting, leading me to speculate that perhaps you have been around before. The name Gabriel ring a bell? Just idle speculation, I’m not convinced enough to make any accusations. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/47 "2000-04-09T23:26:00Z")
That does it, you two. I’m telling. DavidB!!! Gaudere!!! These guys won’t stop flaming each other in a GD thread (well, SATAN won’t stop flaming. Federalist is having problems with his lighter)! Make 'em cut it out! * * * Sheesh. Talk about using an Uzi to dispatch a gnat. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/48 "2000-04-10T01:33:00Z")
Our friend has lapsed into “Troll Speak.” Allow me to translate what he is saying here for everyone’s edification, with apologies to the Doper who first introduced the world to the joys of a good Troll-to-English, English-To-Troll dictionary… > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Federalist: > > \*\*Blah blah blah. \*\* Translation: I have nothing to say. > [@](#): > > \*\*Does that remind you of anything? If you said your last post, you’d of been correct. \*\* Translation: I have nothing to say. (Note: The second sentence took quite some time to translate, since it destroyed three parsers.) > [@](#): > > \*\*You don’t have to write novels, buddy. Save your text for someone who cares. \*\* Translation: I have nothing to say, and I wet myself. > [@](#): > > \*\*OH YEAH, and the Whig joke, that’s a classic. Mind if I use it? \*\* Translation: I have nothing to say, may I have your autograph? > [@](#): > > \*\*Not all text must be disected, but if that’s what bursts your bubble…go right ahead. \*\* Translation: I have nothing to say. > [@](#): > > **Quality over Quantity.** Translation: I lose. I am now going to go into a corner somewhere and cry. If you have anything else to say - unless it’s you on your knees (a position I imagine you’re quite familiar with) begging forgiveness - take it to The Pit. And with all due respect to WallyM - Putz. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/49 "2000-04-10T02:57:00Z")
(ignoring the squabbling brats) _Yes_, I’m serious. Write your congressmen and senators and tell them that effigy-burning is superior in every way to a campaign to add an anti-flag burning amendment to the Constitution. Mrsphlem: You flatter me. How are things going with Mrphlem? ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/50 "2000-04-10T03:33:00Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] Ay di me. What a mess. Satan, Federalist: stop this immediately; I will send this thread to the Pit if another blatant insult is posted. Federalist, personal bitching at posters should go in the Pit, not GD. I note you avoided direct and outrageous insults; very good, but baiting other posters with off-topic comments is lame in the extreme. Satan, I believe you said “lick my bag” and “Walking anal leakage such as yourself” and “the dim-witted likes of you” and “your insipid mouth” and “Are you a moronic leprotic crotch goblin?” and “butt plug” and “I have to give you that five spot I owe your mom for services rendered. She was so complimentary too, telling me I was way better than you and all…”, etc., etc. Such language is appropriate for the Pit perhaps, but not in Great Debates. As a reg here, I presume you know this. You also said: “I have much more important things to do than to discipline children.” As do I. If you wish to insult, we have the Pit. Further blatant insults from you in GD _will_ be deleted in their entirety. If you have questions about what is acceptable in GD, please email me and I will attempt to explain our policies in more detail, since your recent posts indicate you may not fully understand them. Thank you. [Moderator Hat OFF] ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/51 "2000-04-10T03:48:00Z")
Send it to The Pit then! It’s this jokers own thread, and he’s the one that hijacked it into this direction anyway, as you can plainly see. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/52 "2000-04-10T16:44:00Z")
I should have said, superior in every way exept for its value in scoring cheap political points. ---
**Author:** ![Federalist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Federalist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Federalist)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/53 "2000-04-10T19:38:00Z")
Gaudere- Thankyou. I’m sorry if I broke any ancient code of Straight Dope. I’d look it up, but I don’t have enough time in my busy life to spend it all here. (satan-you’ve posted several thousand times, could you check for me? you seem to have a lot of time on your hands) Well, drag this post where ever you’d like. You, as a moderator of Straight Dope, have the power. Bye Bye I’m sorry satan, no hard feelings? ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/54 "2000-04-10T19:44:00Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] I said: > [@](#): > > Satan, Federalist: stop this immediately; I will send this thread to the Pit if another blatant insult is posted. and Fed said: > [@](#): > > satan-you’ve posted several thousand times, could you check for me? you seem to have a lot of time on your hands which is good enough for me. Off to the Pit. ::sigh:: Some people on the thread _did_ actually discuss the topic a bit, I guess, but this is the end of _that_. [Moderator Hat OFF] ---
**Author:** ![SterlingNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/55 "2000-04-10T19:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Gaudere** : > ::sigh:: Some people on the thread _did_ actually discuss the topic a bit, I guess, but this is the end of _that_. My mistake. I didn’t know this was a bitch-slap-a-gram in disguise. Thou’ that would have explained the presence styrafoam peanut[-gallery]. * * * When crime is organized enough, it’s not even against the law. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/56 "2000-04-10T20:02:00Z")
Well, flying frapola ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/57 "2000-04-10T20:13:00Z")
Like I said, the big Fed is a big zero. Save the pixels for someone worthy. Here in Canada, we wouldn’t dream of burning the flag. Why would we? It’s got nothing to do with hockey, so why bother? ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/58 "2000-04-10T20:18:00Z")
Damnit, I actually went and looked up the relevant sections of US Code to answer the OP, only to have it take this nasty turn. OK, that’s it. If any of you people want me to actually provide quality answers to your questions, you’re going to have to promise me you won’t hijack your own threads into the Pit. Ahh, fuckit, I’ll just assume that most of you are smarter than the OP of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/59 "2000-04-10T20:49:00Z")
First of all, **DoctorJ** , allow me to say again how much I love you: > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Walking anal leakage > > This would be a great name for a band. Their first album could be called > > > [@](#): > > > > lick my bag You **ROCK!** 😃 **Satan** had another good band name later: > [@](#): > > moronic leprotic crotch goblin It has a certain… ring. However, I take exception to this particular insult, **Satan** : > [@](#): > > If you have anything else to say - unless it’s you on your knees (a position I imagine you’re quite familiar with) begging forgiveness - take it to The Pit. OK, now what’s up with that? You insult him by calling him a fag? I thought you were much wittier than that… {tsk tsk tsk} Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902/60 "2000-04-10T21:04:00Z")
Esprix: Well, if I was ever in a flame war with you, I would not accuse you of doing an act you enjoy. However, I might be tempted to call you a pussy-licker for the sheer perversity of it! 😃 Ultimately, I mean no offense. It’s like accusing a prim woman of taking it up the ass or something. You are NOT saying anal sex is bad, but you are being funny with someone who most likely thinks that way personally for them. Y’know? God, you’re such a straight man sometimes… 😉 * * * Yer pal, Satan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-glory/5902.md?page=4)