# (Old) Happy Earthday in the MMP! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 22, 2024, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-happy-earthday-in-the-mmp/1000607 "2024-04-22T06:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 209
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2024, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-happy-earthday-in-the-mmp/1000607/209 "2024-04-27T07:08:03Z")
Picked up the My First Bifocals ™ on my way into work. Swear to god, if ONE more person tells me, “You’ll get used to them!” … { _shakes fist_ } I was nodding my head up and down like a baby duckling, especially at first. Plus, I was kinda having an internal fit about the whole thing while I was there, and then the woman next to me was like, “I’m getting trifocals for the first time!” and I was like, “Bitch, let me have my moment!” … gotta one-up me like that! Oh, and I had a heart-to-heart with **Sweet Manager** and she _promptly_ moved me to Friday close wid da boyz. As in, on the spot. She understood why, too, and when I told her I felt bad - I did feel like I was throwing my coworkers under the bus - she told me SHE felt bad, that she’d been putting me through this. Shit like that is why I call her here what I do. It’s a play on her IRL name, but she more than earns it in her management style. Anyway, I was kinda like, “Well, wasn’t planning on a 10-hour day, but OKAY!” … and treated myself to Chinese food on my lunch break, since I hadn’t ezzactly packed anything (and the emergency can of Spaghetti-Os in my locker didn’t sound nearly as appealing as celebrating my little epiphany about my own work stuff. And having it dealt with so swiftly!) I yanked the bifocals off during my lunch break but otherwise forced myself to wear them throughout my (unexpectedly long) shift, so I did my due diligence as far as getting used to them. But it felt even better taking those off when I got home than the damn thong I’d been in for all that time. Closing went exactly as I’d both hoped & expected: fast, efficient. They’re not silent monks - there’s definitely some fucking around - but all the joking is done _while doing shit_ which is all my little heart wanted. Plus, the guys all (other than **Car(e)less Co-worker**) know their stuff so well, I feel like the weakest link, which motivates me to try so hard to do my best or even better. (Can’t have da boyz thinking, “Aw, no, a _girl!_” Gotta represent for the female side, amirite?) With some of the others, though, when I feel like I’m propping them up, I’ll admit, I’ll let tiny mistakes of mine slide (“Ah, fuck it. I’m doing better than everyone else anyway!”) which is a terrible mindset to have. All that to say, an unexpected Long Night was still a good and non-exhausting shift. Means a lot to me. Oh, they got a helluva good laugh at my expense on one thing, though: one of them was cleaning a fryer, and he does it differently. When I was curious and he walked me through his method, he wrapped up his brief lecture with, “Yup. Quick and easy.” Without really thinking, I answered quite genuinely, “I’m a big fan of quick and easy.” The other guy caught my eye, I realized what I’d just said, stammered out something like, “Can I get a do-over?” and they both just _lost_ it. > [@dogbutler](#): > > I work opposite all you daywalkers. Come to the dark side … oh wait. You’re already here. > [@JaneDoe42](#): > > That way you have to not only make the decision to eat a bag, you also have to find your keys and walk all the way out to your car which might be too much work. This would totally work with me. Plus, I’d forget the damn things were in there (until the next time I made a hard turn too fast - “WTF is sliding around back there?”) which would probably help the plan. * * * Alright, time to polish off the last of my celebratory Mongolian beef and tuck into bed. > [@swampbear](#): > > You must kill the remainder of that joint. No sense in it languishin’ in pain in a half killed state. Yessir!! --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-happy-earthday-in-the-mmp/1000607)._