# \[OLD\] June Bugs (monthly mini-rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2023, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892 "2023-06-01T22:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/81 "2023-06-10T15:28:56Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I lost my sunglasses today, and after searching for an hour, … , put them up on my head, The longest I’ve searched for sunglasses _that were on my head the whole time_, is about 15 minutes. Once you get used to storing them there for hours at a time, there’s not much sensation of them being there, and nearly the same sensation when they are not. Had I not looking into a passing mirror I might still be looking for them today. D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/82 "2023-06-10T16:19:10Z")
Well, I have solved the mystery of why the lawn-mowing guys left a small tuft of unmowed grass in the middle of my back yard last time, and were about to do it a second time. Turns out, I have an artificial mountain in the middle of my back yard – actually I now have two of them. They are known as the Ant Mountain Range, and each one is inhabited by approximately 1023 ants, plus, presumably, a royal household headed up by a Queen Ant who issues digging and construction orders. So I did some digging of my own, having possession of a pickaxe and spade from my younger and more energetic days. But first I got lots of permethrin spray and sprayed the living daylights out of the fuckers as they poured out of the ground, and kept spraying until the dug and leveled ground was soaked. Hopefully I’ve seen the last of them. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > The longest I’ve searched for sunglasses _that were on my head the whole time_, is about 15 minutes. Relevant _Fawlty Towers_ bit starts at 1:30: 😄 [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/NGWYFDRgZM8/hqdefault.jpg "Fawlty Towers: Turn it on!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGWYFDRgZM8&t=90) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/83 "2023-06-10T16:24:02Z")
Good luck w the ants. In that skit they did an excellent job of having her face the stage lights so the camera = us got to see them highlighted several times. No mistaking where they were. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/84 "2023-06-10T17:06:00Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I lost my sunglasses today, and after searching for an hour, I finally decided to recreate my every move since I’d known I had them. When I was a kid, we got to play “help mom find her glasses”. I don’t recall that we ever found them on her head, but one rule was that we were absolutely forbidden from asking her “well, where did you put them down?”, which of course is the standard mom question when you plaintively call out “I can’t find my ”. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/85 "2023-06-10T18:55:05Z")
When we were on vacation a few weeks ago, I lost my phone. When I realized I had set it down ON A BENCH on THE FRIGGIN’ BOARDWALK by the beach, I panicked! I got down there from my hotel room as soon as I could. It was out of my possession for approximately 30 minutes - and it was still there! I couldn’t believe it. And I lose my glasses on my head what seems like daily… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/86 "2023-06-10T19:35:10Z")
Oh happy day when I got a Garmin watch with a button that makes my lost phone ring very loudly. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/87 "2023-06-10T23:08:09Z")
I had an Apple Watch until it got too old to work properly, but the best feature it had was pinging my phone. (And my phone could ping my watch if I couldn’t find my watch.) I still don’t think I nearly got my money’s worth from that watch, it was freaking **expensive** , but that feature was pretty great. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/88 "2023-06-10T23:12:56Z")
**Wee Weasel** is obsessed with my Garmin right now (because of the countdown timer) and wouldn’t you know it, today he found that button! Delightful. That kid has compulsive button pressing issues. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2023, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/89 "2023-06-10T23:35:14Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > When I was a kid, we got to play “help mom find her glasses”. I don’t recall that we ever found them on her head, Yesterday. Just yesterday _sigh_. Thought I had left my heavily tinted sunglasses behind at a store I had just left while I was driving away. A few seconds of frantically reaching into crevices while I was driving hoping I’d stuck them somewhere on the passenger seat or in one of the drink holders. Nope. On my damn face. Copper-tinted sunglasses. On my face. If I’m this bad in my fifties I shudder to think how I’ll be in my seventies. Might be time to just sign up to become Soylent Green already. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/90 "2023-06-11T00:41:45Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > That kid has compulsive button pressing issues. My new wife has some flavor of Fitbit. Her autistic almost 3yo granddaughter loves playing with it. Tap it couple times and dancing pink hearts appear. It’s really the pulse monitor, but to her it’s the dancing hearts. She will tap that thing for hours squealing with delight every time they appear if you let her. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/91 "2023-06-11T02:51:12Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Might be time to just sign up to become Soylent Green already. Last week I was talking to a friend on the phone. He suggested a date for lunch the next week. I said I thought it would be fine but I should check my calendar. I reached into my pocket for my phone and it wasn’t there. I said “fuck, where’s my phone?” and immediately started laughing because, you know, I was talking to him on my phone. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/92 "2023-06-11T02:54:39Z")
My roommate is binge watching the Kelvinverse Star Trek films and I AM SO SICK of hearing that theme song over and over! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/93 "2023-06-11T03:36:07Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > the Kelvinverse Star Trek films … The ones whose fans are absolute zeros? (I’m assuming you mean the JJ Abrams “lens flare timeline”) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/94 "2023-06-11T13:59:08Z")
> [@aurora\_maire](#): > > Last week I was talking to a friend on the phone. He suggested a date for lunch the next week. I said I thought it would be fine but I should check my calendar. I reached into my pocket for my phone and it wasn’t there. I said “fuck, where’s my phone?” and immediately started laughing because, you know, I was talking to him on my phone. I always, _always_ use a wireless headset with my phone. Therefore while talking on it my phone is always within about 30 feet of me, but the two places it substantially never is is in my pocket or in my hand. So searching for my phone while talking on it is normal everyday behavior. Usually it’s not far, like on the table or chair arm nearby. But once in awhile … ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/95 "2023-06-11T16:37:53Z")
I have prescription sunglasses and I can’t count the number of times I’ve forgotten I’m wearing them and start looking for them. “Why is it so damn dark in here? Oh yeah…” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/96 "2023-06-11T17:58:17Z")
My wife misplaces her phone so often, I think I call her phone to help her locate it about twice as often as I call her phone to actually talk to her. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/97 "2023-06-11T21:26:47Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > > [@aurora\_maire](#): > > > > Last week I was talking to a friend on the phone. He suggested a date for lunch the next week. I said I thought it would be fine but I should check my calendar. I reached into my pocket for my phone and it wasn’t there. I said “fuck, where’s my phone?” and immediately started laughing because, you know, I was talking to him on my phone. > > I always, _always_ use a wireless headset with my phone. Therefore while talking on it my phone is always within about 30 feet of me, but the two places it substantially never is is in my pocket or in my hand. So searching for my phone while talking on it is normal everyday behavior. > > Usually it’s not far, like on the table or chair arm nearby. But once in awhile … Bah! And humbug on all you kids with your newfangled fancy toys! I, too, have a cell phone, and I note that the “phone” part is short for “telephone”, a device invented by Alexander Graham Bell for talking into, which he did in 1875, back when I was practically still a teenager. And that’s what I use it for: for talking to people who are too far away to hear me even if I shout. The only thing “on” my phone is a list of phone numbers. Yes, it’s a “smart” phone, because that’s the only kind available in this crazy mixed-up world. I believe it’s called “smart” because it’s capable – all by itself – of running away and hiding whenever I need it. I, too, have calendars and appointments and other notes, but for those I use an older reliable technology called “paper”, related to papyrus, a technology good enough to have been in use for over 4500 years, going back to the reign of the pharaoh Khufu, who got by just fine without a cell phone. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/98 "2023-06-11T21:28:54Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I, too, have calendars and appointments and other notes, but for those I use an older reliable technology called “paper”, related to papyrus, a technology good enough to have been in use for over 4500 years, going back to the reign of the pharaoh Khufu, who got by just fine without a cell phone. 🙂 You know damn well that Khufu would have a smart phone if he was around today, probably the best one on the market. They’d also probably have cell towers around the pyramids so that they could get a signal in the afterlife. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/99 "2023-06-11T21:35:05Z")
I very much doubt it. Khufu would be more than 4500 years old, and thus even more set in his ways than me. It’s papyrus all the way FTW! 😀 ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892/100 "2023-06-11T21:40:04Z")
Now THAT would be a good ‘Clash’ song… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-june-bugs-monthly-mini-rants/984892.md?page=6)