# Old Lady Smell-DEFINED **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867 "2005-04-11T23:19:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/1 "2005-04-11T23:19:52Z")
After Months of research, I have come to the conclusion that the “old lady smell” is made up of at least 70% Channel no. 5. Now I shared this theory with **Ed Zotti** and he was dubious. **Tubadiva** said I was full of it, and that in fact old lady smell is: " it’s old lady with weak bladders, mostly. Old urine at that. " We have reached an impasse. So I bring this to you, the Teeming Millions to settle. Remember, all those who agree with me have the added benefit of being less likely to be ground under my jack booted heel when the revolution comes, and a mostly painless death from my 1920’s style death ray. So please, chime in with your opinions lets get to the bottom of this, the most perplexing of odors. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/2 "2005-04-11T23:40:53Z")
You’re all wrong. It’s dimestore face powder and Jergen’s lotion. And maybe some Bengay on a bad day. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/3 "2005-04-12T00:01:13Z")
A someone who spends a lot of time visiting her aging, frail mother in an assisted-living facility and meets a lot of dying old ladies, I can only address you if we take this to the Pit. P.S. It’s “Chanel,” you idiot. ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/4 "2005-04-12T00:05:08Z")
Don’t forget the mothballs. Totally key. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/5 "2005-04-12T00:07:51Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > A someone who spends a lot of time visiting her aging, frail mother in an assisted-living facility and meets a lot of dying old ladies, I can only address you if we take this to the Pit. > > P.S. It’s “Chanel,” you idiot. Well **Eve** I’m not trying to offend anyone. I wasn’t really refering to dying old women. Mostly my contact with the old lady smell would be hanging around old ladies at church, my grand mother and her circle of friends and old ladies on the bus. No need to get nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/6 "2005-04-12T00:19:21Z")
Wait till your grandmother is old and had a stroke and you’re sitting by her bedside all night so you can help her to the bathroom and back and get her some tea when she starts choking. Then you’ll know what “old lady smell” is, and it’s not Chanel, it’s fear and depression and impending death. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/7 "2005-04-12T00:37:33Z")
Eve, I’m not trying to start a fight her. I’m just trying to have a light heart talk about a particular odor I’ve noticed from HEATHY older women. I’m really sorry you’ve had to see what You’ve seen. Truely. And yes, when I have to go vist my dying grand mother, I’m not going to enyoy it. Much like I didn’t enjoy watching my god mother, god father, father, and grand father die in the hospital. But at the same time, knowing all 4 of them they would find a talk abut funny smelling old people to be really funny. And in fact I had a bunch of funny conversations with all of them while they had reather awful tubes runing into their bodies. So again, please Im sorry if its an unpleast topic, and its jsut a bit of innocent fun. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/8 "2005-04-12T01:45:11Z")
Hm, I know the smell you are talking about, my grandmother had it. She didn’t wear Chanel 5, but Emeraud. I would say cashmere bouquet soap, that white dusting powder that comes in the stripey box with a big pouffy thing, denture cleaner and bengay. ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/9 "2005-04-12T01:51:01Z")
> [@saramamalana](#): > > Don’t forget the mothballs. Totally key. Word. At least 50%, I’d say. ---
**Author:** ![wonderwench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/35a633/32.png) [@wonderwench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderwench)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/10 "2005-04-12T01:54:10Z")
Old ladies should smell like cinnamon from baking cookies and sticky buns. Just my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/11 "2005-04-12T02:11:59Z")
> [@MonkeyMule](#): > > After Months of research, I have come to the conclusion that the “old lady smell” is made up of at least 70% Channel no. 5. Now I shared this theory with **Ed Zotti** and he was dubious. **Tubadiva** said I was full of it, and that in fact old lady smell is: " it’s old lady with weak bladders, mostly. Old urine at that. " We have reached an impasse. Oh NO not Channel #5, it’s ‘Lavender’ and lots and lots of it. Almost enough to mask the pee tea odor. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/12 "2005-04-12T02:17:51Z")
I’ve never noticed that old ladies had any particular smell at all. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/13 "2005-04-12T02:48:54Z")
> [@Imasquare](#): > > I’ve never noticed that old ladies had any particular smell at all. Right on. Neither did I. If anything, I’d have to say that all of the Old Ladies in my life smelled of Shalimar, if anything at all. And **Eve** , I’m sorry about your grandmother. That must have been very hard to bear. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/14 "2005-04-12T04:18:46Z")
> [@spingears](#): > > Oh NO not Channel #5, it’s ‘Lavender’ and lots and lots of it. Almost enough to mask the pee tea odor. :rolleyes: Yes. You hit the nail on the head with that one. Lavender with maybe just a hint of baby powder. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/15 "2005-04-12T04:25:23Z")
My grandma always smelled like Chantilly with an undertone of cinnamon Dentyne. ---
**Author:** ![maddog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@maddog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maddog)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/16 "2005-04-12T04:32:19Z")
I think my nana’s penchant for polyester everything helped to marinade the mix, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/17 "2005-04-12T08:24:14Z")
Nooooo, it’s that disgusting “Shower to Shower” powder! At least that’s the source of my grandma’s old lady smell. ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/18 "2005-04-12T09:39:57Z")
Ninety percent powder, ten percent “Oil of Old Lady (Olay)”. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/19 "2005-04-12T13:27:16Z")
> [@MonkeyMule](#): > > So again, please Im sorry if its an unpleast topic, and its jsut a bit of innocent fun. Sorry I snapped at you. As you may have noticed, my temper is stetched to the breaking point these days, I think it’s best if I just do my work and take care of things that have to be taklen care of, and stay away from message boards. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867/20 "2005-04-12T14:10:21Z")
Well, if said LOL is diabetic, add yeast to the mix of urine, body powder, denture cream, ben gay and mothballs-oh, and perfume. Now, my grandfather smelled of pipe tobacco and peppermint–loved the smell of him. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-lady-smell-defined/298867.md?page=2)