While the US Postal Service deserves much of the criticism directed at in in the past and the present, I don’t think the monkey-in-the-box took 12 weeks to get to you. 
The 12 weeks was more likely fudge factor. Back then, if you were mailing from a rural mailbox, it might take a week to pick up your mail, then a couple of weeks to truck the mail across country and hand sort it. Then the company would receive their bags of mail, and take a week or two to hand process it. Give or take a couple of weeks to get in a new shipment of monkeys, then a week in packaging, and finally a couple of weeks to ship it back to you. They probably sent the monkeys by the fastest possible means, which may have meant the little buggers ‘only’ had to stay alive for a week or so in a 12" box in god knows what kind of temperatures.
By the time you got it, the thing was probably half insane and ready to kill the nearest human.
>By the time you got it, the thing was probably half insane and ready to kill the nearest human.
Plus if he’s inside that shipping box for more than a day he’s going to start pooping and peeing and Gods knows what else in there. He’d be a stinking, angry mess when you opened it up. The first thing little Timmy has to do when it arrives is give the deranged monkey a good bath.
I guess the issues are still:
- How did they actually ship these monkeys?
- What was the fate of the monkeys that survived the trip?
Welcome to the straight dope!
Trust me, the sea monkeys (which were actually brine shrimp) advertised on the back of boys life would not have made your life better. One of my brothers bought them for me one year. Brine shrimp do not make good pets. They didn’t last long.
At least there was no cruelty to real monkeys in that ad.
Actual spider monkeys were sold by mail order.
Yikes!
But that’s not what was advertised on the back cover of boys life.
Squirrel monkeys are the same as spider monkeys?
No, I was looking for one of the old ads and didn’t read the specific one I posted.
My father had a spider monkey, and then he had me.
Yes, they actually delivered on the pet monkey ads. Here’s one account of a 15 year old who bought one:
Yeah, there’s a book titled Mail Order Mysteries that uncovers what really came in the mail from those comic book ads. It’s a good quick read.
See here an article with a scan of one of the monkey-in-a-teacup ads.
Seems this company Animal Farm periodically restructured itself. In rinning_coach’s ad, the department to write to was MF-11. Here it is MA-30, and here ES-8. Always the same Miami Beach PO box, though.
The dept numbers might indicate which publication the ad was in.
That’s indeed an idea I hadn’t thought of. My remark about restructuring within the company was intended as a joke - I suspected they simply tried to come off as a bigger business than they really were. But it makes perfect sense to assume that they did so to track which order came in response to which ad.
Oh how awful. Those poor monkeys.
I came in to mention that book. I have a copy. Each entry shows the ad from the comic book, a picture of what you actually received, and a review. The real surprise is that some products (like the spy radio in a pen- no batteries needed!) actually delivered what they promised.
Those ads are from pre-zip code days (“Miami Beach 39”), so 1963 at the latest (zip codes started in 1963). That $18.95 in 1963 is equivalent to over $170 in 2022. That’s a lot of money for a kid to scrounge up without their parents finding out.
When I was in college, a half-century ago, a friend and I sent in to one of those ads. This one supposedly gave the secret to growing 2 inches in height (or something like that – it was 50 years ago). We had a lot of fun imagining the secret our money was going to buy.
A few weeks later our envelope was returned unopened, stamped “Fraudulent Use of the Mail.”
But now I’m wondering – did anyone actually get a reply for their money? It was a small sum, 50 cents or so, IIRC – at any rate, small enough that even with our impoverished student lack of funds, we thought it was worth it to find out exactly how they were scamming people. Does your book include this ad?
See, he didn’t choose between having pets and children!
They still ship day-old chicks by mail. Day-old chickens, however, are not monkeys. (Among other differences, they don’t need to eat for three days after birth; they’re full of nutrients from the egg. And most of the people ordering them know how to take care of them when they show up. And they come with companions of their own species – you don’t buy one at a time.
And, of course, they’re birds. Not primates.)
Here are 17 places that will ship chicks to you: