# Old Mother Hubbard Gets Stuffed in Her Cupboard **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 4, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527 "2004-05-04T21:20:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/1 "2004-05-04T21:20:18Z")
Just when you think you’ve seen the bottom of the barrel for humanity [this guy](http://www.adn.com/alaska/story/5035832p-4964232c.html) comes along and reveals the yawning pit contained beneath said barrel. Even if he didn’t kill her, what the fuck was he thinking? “Hmmmm…what to do with dear old mum’s rotting corpse…? Oh, right, wrap it in duct tape, the mummification medium of choice, and stuff ol’ mum in the breakfast bar. A little caulking and the renters will never suspect a thing.” Then the genius tries to sell the beloved abode to the taxi driver while on the way to the airport to board a plane with his shotgun in tow. :rolleyes: This story has so many opportunities for wrath, humor and irony that I don’t even know where to begin. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/2 "2004-05-04T22:13:09Z")
Weird. Also rather more detail in that report than you usually see, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/3 "2004-05-04T22:20:48Z")
\*\*cute perky woman:\*\*Kenneth Padget is _mad_. \*\*Kenneth Padget:\*\*I’m mad! \*\*cute perky woman:\*\*The mother he stored in his kitchen is leaking. Old fashioned duct tape and plastic wrap allowed the “decomposing body to ooze through a corner of her kitchen tomb, leaking red-yellow fluid with a “horrific stench” onto the floor.” What a mess! **Kenneth Padget:** Just look at my linoleum! **cute perky woman:** You should have used gladware, Kenneth. Don’t get mad - get Glad. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/4 "2004-05-04T22:34:17Z")
This is the next Coen brothers film, right? Please tell me this didn’t really happen. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/5 "2004-05-04T23:08:55Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > This is the next Coen brothers film, right? Please tell me this didn’t really happen. Oh yeah, really happened. Back at the end of 2001. Merry Christmas, Mom! And Happy…d’oh! I don’t know why it’s taken two years to get this guy to trial. Mmmmmm…leaking bodily fluids…mmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/6 "2004-05-04T23:13:06Z")
I can just see this guy wrapping up mum with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead, “I ain’t goin’ back, maw. I ain’t goin’ back!” Bad bad bad… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/7 "2004-05-04T23:44:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Mmmmmm…leaking bodily fluids…mmmmmm. Mmmmmm…? You hear _leaking bodily fluids_, and your reaction is **…mmmmmm.**? Note to self: be very careful about restaurant choices the next time I’m in Alaska. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/8 "2004-05-04T23:54:37Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Mmmmmm…? > > You hear _leaking bodily fluids_, and your reaction is **…mmmmmm.**? > > Note to self: be very careful about restaurant choices the next time I’m in Alaska. Just goulish humor based on my Homer Simpson “d’oh” comment immediately preceeding. Man, I really hate it when I have to explain myself. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/9 "2004-05-05T00:03:16Z")
Ever since I’ve become a mother I read stories like these and I look at my two sons, and I get worried. Very, very worried. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/10 "2004-05-05T03:20:20Z")
I don’t know whether the banner ad at the top of that page changes from time to time, but what’s flashing RIGHT NOW as I read that story is a seafood company’s ad for “Mother’s Day Gift Boxes”. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/11 "2004-05-05T05:07:11Z")
So, I know Mother’s Day is coming up, but exactly when is it? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/12 "2004-05-05T12:49:27Z")
Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Florists all over the US are bracing themselves. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/13 "2004-05-05T13:49:04Z")
> [@](#): > > It took about five weeks for Miles’ decomposing body to ooze through a corner of her kitchen tomb, leaking red-yellow fluid with a “horrific stench” onto the floor. Ewwwwwwwwwww! ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/14 "2004-05-05T16:17:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Padgett told people in Alaska who asked about Miles that she had gone on vacation **Outside** or moved to Texas… > [@](#): > > Hoffbeck spent days talking to everyone he could find who knew Miles, here and **Outside**. He concluded she was not alive in Texas, so she probably was dead here… “Outside”? Is that how you Alaskans refer to the rest of us, or is there really a place called “Outside”? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/15 "2004-05-05T16:39:18Z")
> [@Big\_Norse](#): > > “Outside”? Is that how you Alaskans refer to the rest of us, or is there really a place called “Outside”? Yes, that is the traditional reference for anyplace not here, stemming from the territorial days. Any time a politician or pundit wants to cast aspersions on another politician, they simply hint darkly at them being funded by “outside interests”. Alaska has historically been managed from long distance, and still has problems determining its own destiny because of Washington interference. Everyone seems to consider Alaska to be an amusement park and their own personal environmental crusade. Government regulation is overwhelming, and the government owns the vast majority of land here. On another historical front, Seattle dominated Alaskan economics, politics and law for a long time prior to statehood. Seattle had a chokehold on shipping, timber and fisheries, and fairly raped the country for decades. Nothing could be shipped to Alaska unless it first passed through Seattle, where additional profits were tacked on. Fishing and cannery operations set up seines at the river mouths that devastated the fisheries. This was with the blessings of the federal government. Resentment for “Outsiders” runs deep here, which is ironic considering a large part of the population came here during the oil boom. It’s also ironic that while Alaskans are somewhat xenophobic and distrustful of those who aren’t “true Alaskans”, in-depth Alaska history is not taught in the school system, and Alaska Natives (up until the claims settlement and the oil discoveries) were largely ignored and scorned. They still are, to some extent, despite Native corporations that are the biggest economic engines in the state. “Outside” was somewhat modified after statehood by the introduction of the term “lower 48”, but that term doesn’t have the same negative connotation. We don’t talk bad about Hawaii, since that’s where the majority of Alaskans go in the depths of winter to take the chill off (excluding me and a few other hardy souls). We don’t want to piss them off, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/16 "2004-05-05T16:39:24Z")
Yep, when travelling back to the Lower 48 it’s called going Outside. This story could have been worse though. What if a tornado had hit the trailer? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/17 "2004-05-05T16:48:28Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > \*\*cute perky woman:\*\*Kenneth Padget is _mad_. > > \*\*Kenneth Padget:\*\*I’m mad! > > \*\*cute perky woman:\*\*The mother he stored in his kitchen is leaking. Old fashioned duct tape and plastic wrap allowed the “decomposing body to ooze through a corner of her kitchen tomb, leaking red-yellow fluid with a “horrific stench” onto the floor.” What a mess! > > **Kenneth Padget:** Just look at my linoleum! > > **cute perky woman:** You should have used gladware, Kenneth. Don’t get mad - get Glad. That should be “cute perky woman with really annoying voice”. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/18 "2004-05-05T17:01:40Z")
Thanks for the info **Chefguy** and **lieu**! It’s a bit disconcerting to learn that I’ve been living Outside all my life. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/19 "2004-05-05T17:18:03Z")
> [@Big\_Norse](#): > > Thanks for the info **Chefguy** and **lieu**! It’s a bit disconcerting to learn that I’ve been living Outside all my life. It could be worse; you could also be an “environmental extremist”, a title which is delivered with sneering contempt by one and all (on the right, anyway). The definition is fuzzy, however. As far as I can tell, if you would prefer trees over concrete, you’re some sort of commie. I was born and raised here, by the way, left when I was 20 and returned when I was 50. The change in people and attitude brought on by big oil is astounding. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527/20 "2004-05-05T17:24:08Z")
One of the truly impressive things about the SDMB is that I can open almost any thread (except the really dumb ones) and learn something new. I’m going to tell everybody in my office that we’re all Outsiders and see what kind of reaction I get. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-mother-hubbard-gets-stuffed-in-her-cupboard/243527.md?page=2)