# Old, old news: The right way to pee in a urinal

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 9, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474 "2013-11-09T01:22:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474/1 "2013-11-09T01:22:23Z")

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Serious science imitates The Straight Dope!

These researchers seem to think they’re onto some original groundbreaking science. Well, good science ought usually to begin with a review of prior research and literature, but these dudez seem to have omitted that effort-saving effort.

[The best way to pee into a urinal, according to science  
A team of physicists are on a crusade to make men’s restrooms less disgusting](http://theweek.com/article/index/252545/the-best-way-to-pee-into-a-urinal-according-to-science)

Dudez! This is old material! Cecil himself sewed up this topic way back in May, 2003!  
[Urinal 101: Aim for the back wall or the water?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2450/urinal-101-aim-for-the-back-wall-or-the-water)

> [@(ETA: From the article](#):
>
> The sad truth is that men’s restrooms aren’t the most sanitary places, largely because adult human males are not very good at urinating, as if the male brain briefly shuts down whenever hands and penises join together.

Uh, guys . . . that’s not news either.

Oh, wait. That’s just the journalist author of this article, Chris Gayomali, talking. I guess he would know that. We _all know that_ right? (The 3-sentence biographical footnote makes clear that this Chris is of the phenotype who would know what happens when hands and penises join together.)

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**Author:** ![James\_Toothpaste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@James\_Toothpaste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/James_Toothpaste)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474/2 "2013-11-09T14:04:53Z")

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There is no right way to urinate! :eek:

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474/3 "2013-11-09T14:26:41Z")

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> [@James\_Toothpaste](#):
>
> There is no right way to urinate! :eek:

To misquote Kipling:

> [@](#):
>
> "There are nine and sixty ways of peeing,  
> “And—every—single—one—of—them—is—right!”

Well, except that I’m sure there are more than 69 ways.

And most of them are wrong.

Poem here , for the curious:  
[http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems\_neolithic.htm](http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_neolithic.htm)

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-old-news-the-right-way-to-pee-in-a-urinal/673474/4 "2013-11-09T14:47:40Z")

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It would be hard to aim a garden hose if the water pressure is at a constant rate of change from start to finish.