# Old people - when did the rigid rules of classroom Valentine's day behavior begin? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 14, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318 "2013-02-14T20:41:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/21 "2013-02-14T23:29:09Z")
I went to elementary school in the mid-seventies, we worked really hard on making the coolest ‘mailbox’ for our desks and brought cards for everyone. There would usually be some cookies or maybe cupcakes someone’s mom made, but no big sugar fest. My son went to school in the mid-nineties, and they didn’t make the mailboxes but valentines with candy included were starting to show up. Still the one for every kid tradition, plus a bit more of a party day with parent-supplied treats and cutesy pencils or something from the teacher. High school was way worse for the “no one likes you” popularity contest. Some extra-curricular group always sponsored a carnation sale for V-day, just like in the movie Mean Girls. Red for love, pink for like, white and yellow for friends, you’d pre-order them the week leading up to Valentines day and then they’d interrupt all the classes passing them out. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/22 "2013-02-14T23:52:46Z")
From what I recall, in the 70s you got to give cards out to whoever you wanted. The child who received the fewest cards would be sacrificed in a pyre to insure a good harvest the following year. IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/23 "2013-02-15T00:20:26Z")
Arlington, VA. Brought in cards for every one in the class. 1953-1956 at least. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/24 "2013-02-15T13:02:45Z")
I gotta question use of the word ‘rigid’ in the OP. I quick look through this thread clearly demonstrates there is nothing rigid about it whatsoever. Much more like a local culture than a rigid dictated behaviour. You may feel intense pressure to conform to the local standard, but it’s still just a localized culture, that varies not just from town to town, but likely school to school as well. ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/25 "2013-02-15T13:28:45Z")
As an elementary student in the 80s, my experience was the same as others who posted - we were to bring in one card for each student, no candy. I believe either the teacher or some students did bring in treats for the whole class - cupcakes or something - but each student didn’t bring something. Even as a kid I recognized that bringing a valentine for every kid in your class, even if you didn’t like them, was stupid. But I also recognized that it was probably the only reason I received any valentines myself. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/26 "2013-02-15T13:29:33Z")
Valentine’s Day in the US sounds a whole lot different from in the UK. Here, cards are for people you fancy, not the whole bloomin class! You might be lucky to get any. And don’t get me started on father’s giving them to daughters. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/27 "2013-02-15T13:37:39Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > I also only remember one particular valentine, which was from a cute girl, with the message “I hate you” inside. I got a chuckle from it, thinking she really probably meant “despise”. The distinction is lost on me. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/28 "2013-02-15T13:38:23Z")
My mom sent Valentine’s cards to my kids, do you think that is weird? What would be wrong about a father giving his daughter a valentine’s card? I wish my dad was nice enough or cared about me enough to have done that when I was a kid. If i had gotten a card with a poem like [this inside](http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/were-together-though-were-apart) and actually thought my father loved and cared about me that much I probably wouldn’t have let so many guys walk all over me when I was dating. Dads showing parental love for their daughters shouldn’t ever be weird. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/29 "2013-02-15T13:47:26Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > My mom sent Valentine’s cards to my kids, do you think that is weird? > > What would be wrong about a father giving his daughter a valentine’s card? I wish my dad was nice enough or cared about me enough to have done that when I was a kid. If i had gotten a card with a poem like [this inside](http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/were-together-though-were-apart) and actually thought my father loved and cared about me that much I probably wouldn’t have let so many guys walk all over me when I was dating. Dads showing parental love for their daughters shouldn’t ever be weird. It obviously isn’t weird in the US, where it seems Valentine’s Day is for everyone – friends and family – to express their love for each other. But in the UK, Valentine’s Day is for lovers (or wannabes). It’s romantic and sexual. Hence the weirdness of getting one from anyone except your partner or crush. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/30 "2013-02-15T13:56:46Z")
And they say the US is oversexed 😉 So if I ever got a card from a British guy it means he wants to shag me? Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/31 "2013-02-15T13:59:52Z")
Born in 1957 & attended elementary school in rural Georgia - the understanding was that you gave a card to all of your classmates. I don’t remember giving candy, but it seemed important to really screen the cards to make sure that the best ones went to your favorite classmates. We made our own mailboxes & taped them the wall. My most vivid memory is from the 3rd grade. My desk was in the row next to the mailbox wall. My best friend (also the biggest kid in the class) was delivering his cards & when he reached the mailbox next to my desk, I stuck my foot out & tripped him. He fell on top of the train case of the girl seated behind me & absolutely crushed the damn thing. Fortunately for me, he was a kind soul & didn’t turn me into pulp. ---
**Author:** ![ChickenLegs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@ChickenLegs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChickenLegs)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/32 "2013-02-15T14:03:06Z")
> [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > It started in 3rd grade 1967; everyone in class got a card from everyone else out of a classroom pack your mom bought at the 5 and dime store. Thing is, some of those cards were not as appealing as some of the others. I recall one not so attractive girl got a lot of monkey and “Pig Pen” cards. ☹ Kids are cruel and it’s one of the reasons I don’t care much for the day; just another popularity contest that doesn’t mean anything (like homecoming Queen). Heh. I remember there were cards with a skunk on them and “Happy Valentine’s you little stinker” or something. The smelly kid got these. I’m 47. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/33 "2013-02-15T14:13:09Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > From what I recall, in the 70s you got to give cards out to whoever you wanted. > > The child who received the fewest cards would be sacrificed in a pyre to insure a good harvest the following year. IIRC. Weren’t the late 70s-early 80s a time of \*\*great \*\*agricultural prosperity? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/34 "2013-02-15T14:24:27Z")
When I was a young’un, by cracky, we didn’t have none of this card-candy-exchange silliness on Valentine’s Day. We recited the Pledge of Allegiance, did chores for each other, and afterwards there’d be a giant orgy at recess. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/35 "2013-02-15T14:47:14Z")
I was around that age in the early '50s. We got those packs of cheap cards, and wrote each kid’s name on each, and passed them out. No Peanuts or Sesame Street back then, just puppies, kittens, hearts, flowers, etc. No candy, except for those little hearts with stuff written on them. And I think we gave a nicer card to the teacher, I’m not too sure of this. I do remember that everyone gave their worst card to one horrible girl who everyone hated. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/36 "2013-02-15T15:03:29Z")
We always bought the cheap cards too. There was no specific rule about one for every kid but we always did. We didn’t give out candy but we always had a party that afternoon with goodies provided by the mom’s. Heh. I think that was the big competition as all the mom’s tried to outdo each other with the homemade goodies. This was in the sixties and we were all good and sugared up when we went home. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/37 "2013-02-15T15:11:00Z")
\*[These are the boxes](http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m217/asahlin2/ValentinesDay2013boxesmodified_zps4a93b8e7.gif) that I helped the twins make for their Valentine’s Party at Preschool. The boxes came home filled with candy and mass produced cards. I’ve been pilfering the boxes for choice treats 😉 \*Their names have been blocked out, hence the solid color sections at the top of the boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/38 "2013-02-15T15:16:04Z")
I’m 64. We had the cards, etc., when I was in grade school and if there was any candy involved, it was those dumbass little hearts with the sayings on them. Funny, though - nobody bothered to tell us that we were celebrating the murdering of someone by clubbing, stoning and eventual decapitation. I imagine that might have taken some of the fun out of it. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/39 "2013-02-15T15:54:05Z")
We had the cards back in the 50s or 60s. You weren’t required to get cards for everyone, but most people did as a matter of politeness. No one really compared the number of cards you got; certainly no teacher asked to see who had the most. No candy. Usually you bought sheets or boxes of cheap cards (one-sided) to hand out. Sometimes there were too many in a class for the number of cards in a package (e.g,. 25 in the class, but 24 cards in a box), so someone would miss out. But the system meant that you’d usually get 18-20 cards anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318/40 "2013-02-15T16:02:38Z")
Early 60s checking in. We usually made the cards for our classmates in art class the week before and maybe a little time the day or two before; one for each classmate was the rule and Teacher saw it enforced very strictly. Then the day before we would all tape a lunch bag (back when they were all basic brown paper) to our desks and the morning of VD was “pass out your cards” with milk and cookies and much mayhem. That pretty much followed until 6th grade when Valentines Day suddenly disappeared from our lives. The lower grades sure - but at that time “Teacher” decided we were all too grown up for all that kids stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-people-when-did-the-rigid-rules-of-classroom-valentines-day-behavior-begin/650318.md?page=3)