# Old-school commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 23, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967 "2000-12-23T04:58:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/1 "2000-12-23T04:58:37Z")
I was going to post this in one of the Merry Christmas threads, but I didn’t want to hijack the thread. SpiderWoman’s smiley tree immediately put me in mind of this! I’d like to teach the world to sing In perfect harmony I’d like to buy the world a Coke And keep it company Mr. Rilch and I watch the Charlie Brown specials every year, on the appropriate holidays, and we well remember the commercials we’d see when we watched them back in the days of no VCRs. We can reenact some of them with frightening accuracy. It was always McD’s, Peter Paul Mounds/Almond Joy, York Peppermint Patties, and Dolly Madison snack cakes. But jeez, we were so easily suckered in the '70’s! The hidden agenda: “I’d like to **buy** the world a Coke…” Not _give_, **buy**. And now they’re **all** coming back to me! “Oh, I wish I was (were?) an Oscar Meyer weiner…” “Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don’t…” “You deserve a break today…” “Have it your way…” “When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty…” Man, I’d give anything to see that one Mounds/Almond Joy commercial again. The setting was a high school, and everything was filmed and choreographed in such a way that the jingle kept in a perfect rhythm, even though there were nine different shots, not including the closeup of the chocolate being drizzed over the coconut. The last shot was of one side of an auditorium full of kids standing up in unison, then the other side. That must have taken hours of practice and who knows how many takes. I told you my retention was frightening. ---
**Author:** ![jaimest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaimest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaimest)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/2 "2000-12-23T05:04:32Z")
On “TV-Land”, they will often show a commercial from the 70’s during the breaks. Since I am 24, I’m amazed at how many of them I can remember line by line. I guess I must have just vegetated in the crib in front of the TV set as a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/3 "2000-12-23T05:15:05Z")
One of my all time favorites; [car sales showroom] Japanese training instructor: Isuzu American lunkhead trainee: Eee-saz-u Japanese training instructor: No, Isuzu. American lunkhead trainee: I-saz-ee Japanese training instructor: No, Isuzu… American lunkhead trainee: Ee-sue-zee Japanese training instructor: No, Isuzu! American lunkhead trainee: Aw, I’ll never get it…! Japanese training instructor: That’s okay, I still can’t say shel-lo-laaa (Chevrolet) This was one of the great turning points when commercials finally got a sense of effing humor. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/4 "2000-12-23T06:28:47Z")
Cripes, I remember all those old commercials. That’s one of my favorite things about TV Land. Every Christmas I think about the old Norelco (Noelco!) ad. I’m sure we all remember which one, too. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/5 "2000-12-23T06:32:36Z")
\ I long for the days of innocence, when Fred and Barney could sneak behind the garage and smoke a Winston! ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/6 "2000-12-23T08:22:40Z")
Through the 1970s and into the early 1980s, Canadian TV stations used to air a Cottonelle commercial that showed little white kittens dragging toilet paper through a house filled with white furniture. That commercial must have run for at least ten years or so … I bet it’s still on the air. South Africa supposedly still has cigarette commercials. I wonder what those are like … I imagine they woudn’t be too different frm such commercials in an alternate universe USA where they weren’t banned. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/7 "2000-12-23T15:20:27Z")
“Step up to the Kool taste…” ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/8 "2000-12-23T15:34:00Z")
I like the old Tootsie Pop commercial with the kid trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. I knew a guy in the Navy who tried that when drunk. His tongue turned to 10-grit sandpaper. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/9 "2000-12-23T15:48:17Z")
I cannot remember which station I saw it on, but very recently, I saw the Coke commercial, run as an actual commercial, not as part of a special about commercials. There was some new little tag line with it, about the holidays, I think. Gave me the warm fuzzies, it did. I always liked that one. Anybody remember a Pepsi commercial from a ways back, with a recurring scene of a whole bunch of puppies jumping all over a little boy who was just laughing hysterically? I can’t remember what else was in the commercial, but that scene stands out in my mind, because it was just SO freakin’ adorable! ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/10 "2000-12-23T17:38:30Z")
I recently got a videotape of the Star Wars Holiday Special. Egads, what a freakshow that was. Bea Arthur working behind the bar at the cantina in Mos Eisley? You couldn’t make up anything that surreal if you tried. Anyhoo, one of the best things about the tape is that all of the commercials are included. Reggie Jackson selling his “Reggie Bar” – I remember begging my mom for those. Commercials reminding us to “look for the Union label.” Seeing those old commercials gave me the warm fuzzies – I needed this after watching Art Carney hang out with a bunch of Wookies, which gave me the screaming mimis. ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/11 "2000-12-23T18:58:39Z")
Hey! You got peanut butter on my chocolate! Hey! You got chocolate in my peanut butter! Hey, two great tastes taste great together! 😉 I laughed when I saw Vick’s and Breathe-Right copy those old Reese’s ads recently. Rose ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/12 "2000-12-23T19:01:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by delphica \* > \*\*I recently got a videotape of the Star Wars Holiday Special. Egads, what a freakshow that was. Bea Arthur working behind the bar at the cantina in Mos Eisley? You couldn’t make up anything that surreal if you tried. > > Anyhoo, one of the best things about the tape is that all of the commercials are included. Reggie Jackson selling his “Reggie Bar” – I remember begging my mom for those. Commercials reminding us to “look for the Union label.” Seeing those old commercials gave me the warm fuzzies – I needed this after watching Art Carney hang out with a bunch of Wookies, which gave me the screaming mimis. \*\* Oh god…I have this on tape to and it is the worst thing in the world. I remember seeing it when I was like 5 or so, and even at that age I knew it was a crap. You forgot to mention the Imperial officer watching Jefferson Starship performing on the holo-thingy and Chewie’s grandpa pretty much getting off to cyber-porn. As for the commercials, there’s one for the Mercury “Bobcat” and boy does that thing look like a hunk of junk!!! Oh, and there’s an ad for control top panty-hose that would make you think that it was one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/13 "2000-12-24T03:43:46Z")
TV Land will be re-broadcasting **“The Greatest Commercials Of All Time”** next Friday (Dec 29) at 9PM Eastern Time. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/14 "2000-12-24T04:36:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monkeylucifer \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by delphica \* > > \*\*I recently got a videotape of the Star Wars Holiday Special. Egads, what a freakshow that was. Bea Arthur working behind the bar at the cantina in Mos Eisley? You couldn’t make up anything that surreal if you tried. > > \*\* > > Oh god…I have this on tape to and it is the worst thing in the world. I remember seeing it when I was like 5 or so, and even at that age I knew it was a crap. You forgot to mention the Imperial officer watching Jefferson Starship performing on the holo-thingy and Chewie’s grandpa pretty much getting off to cyber-porn.\*\* As an aside, y’know that thing that Itchy (Chewy’s kid) is playing with? I had one! It’s essentially an upscale Radio-Shack 150-In-One Project Kit. I was never able to contact the Rebel Alliance with mine, though. ☹ (Anyone remember what that thing was called, a brand name or something? I’d love to see if I could find one again) and back to the OT Hooold the pickle, Hold the lettuce! Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us Serve it your way Have it yoooour way, Have it your way Have it yoooour way at Burger King (repeat last 4 lines) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/15 "2000-12-24T04:59:38Z")
Fenris: I still have one of those, but I think mine’s a 200 in 1. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/16 "2000-12-24T13:52:45Z")
A couple of nuggets penned by Barry Manilow: _Grab a broom and a brush. Clean it up for the rush. There is nothing so cleeeeeeean, As my burger machine. When we’re finished, what then? Start all over again. Tell me what does it meeeeeeeeean? –At McDonald’s it’s clean. You deserve a break today So get up and get away to McDonald’s._ (I think that commercial also featured John “James Evans, Sr” Amos and maybe Donovan Scott.) \*Shopping, phone calls, dog got away. No time to cook for this busy da-ay. Come on! Get a bucket of chicken. (Finger-lickin’ good.) Have a barrel of fun. (Good-bye ho-hums.) Get Kentucky Fried Chicken. Come on, everyone! Have a finger lickin’, good time, Barrel of fun! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/17 "2000-12-24T14:46:52Z")
You can’t forget this one: _Two all beef patties Special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun!_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/18 "2000-12-24T17:09:27Z")
This is …disturbing. Anyone rememder the Movie **Demolition Man**? In one scene while the female cop in introducing the just-defrosted Stallone to the World of the Future, they get into a car and turn on the oldies station. It’s all oldies _commercials_. Radio: “Oscar Meyer Weiners…” Cop: “Oh, this is one of my favourites!” and starts singing along. At the time I thought that that was a excellent and funny, but _very_ improbable, idea. Now, I’m beginning to wonder. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-school-commercials/46967/19 "2000-12-25T00:35:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > \*\*TV Land will be re-broadcasting **“The Greatest Commercials Of All Time”** next Friday (Dec 29) at 9PM Eastern Time. \*\* We don’t get TV Land! Wah!