# (Old) Tell A Stoopid Joke MMP! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [July 13, 2026, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637 "2026-07-13T10:37:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/321 "2026-07-19T18:24:06Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Once we got home, I finished cleaning the ice maker, and now I’m making ice again. Oh the excitement! Be still my heart!!! Lots of people get excited over getting a piece of ice. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/322 "2026-07-19T18:34:17Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > just taken before getting changed. BTW I really like that print. Very flattering fit, and way to rock those heels! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/323 "2026-07-19T18:42:41Z")
Yeah, those are my big heels. 👠 Changing into them before getting out of my car, my knees were in my face. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/324 "2026-07-19T19:19:52Z")
Well, no black eyes or cheek bruises, so, could’ve been worse. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/325 "2026-07-19T19:45:08Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Brought me back a necklace, with a pendant made of moose poop. How very cool. I’d have worn the shit out of it!!! > [@Taters](#): > > I just got done renewing the 'scrips for Buster and Maisie. I thought I remembered your pups needing it, dang about the expense. George only has to take them for a couple of weeks before getting rechecked. I’ll bet your home looks lovely. The dust here is getting really hard to ignore. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > **FCD** ’s Santa Fe has that, too, and I hate it because it makes him a lazy driver. I disabled the front alarm system because the snow kept setting it off. I do lurve my cruise control though. It has saved me so many speeding tickets because I tend to let my speed creep up without one. > [@Misnomer](#): > > part of it was the impossible logistics of being one 5’3 person trying to hold a 45-pound dog in place while also opening her mouth and wrangling a pill, I don’t wrangle them, I’m way too lazy for that. I just wait for them to go to sleep and sneak up on them. By the time they realize they’ve been assaulted, they’ve swallowed the pill and now have some squeezy crack in front of them. So we’re running very low on prepared food. There is a lot of very yummy shrimp scampi and alfredo still in the freezer, but I’m not ready for noodles yet. Hubs is currently cooking. Real cooking, not heating things up or opening boxes. He’s a smart guy, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing because I never let him help in the kitchen. He doesn’t know where I keep the tools or how to use them. I honestly feel pretty badly about this. I never considered dying before him and what would happen to his diet. Once I can use both hands he’s going to get a few lessons. In other news he used one of my precious few (five small bulbs out of 40 cloves) home grown garlic bulbs and it smells wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/326 "2026-07-19T19:47:51Z")
I cleaned, dusted, and vacuumed. I took out the trash and recycling out. When spot was watching Onan eat, the chipmunk ran on the porch an inch in front of Spot. Which tells you how much street cred he has. Storms have been rolling nearby, but I haven’t been hit. _Yet_. > [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > **doggio** , crazy place to work, but I guess the checks arrive on time at least… I have direct deposit. 😉 > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Maybe it’s the same one, and it has bunsomnia? 1:55 a.m. seems a little late for “crepuscular” but you do you, bun. [![](https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcncwbWVkNnJia3U4a3ExZzkyeXVheW9ldG52dTJzNnNkZTR0bHZ1cyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/NsIutdeoLGVw6Bn5Rp/giphy.gif) ](https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcncwbWVkNnJia3U4a3ExZzkyeXVheW9ldG52dTJzNnNkZTR0bHZ1cyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/NsIutdeoLGVw6Bn5Rp/giphy.gif) Vampbunny > [@AskNott](#): > > Lots of people get excited over getting a piece of ice. the good ice. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/327 "2026-07-19T20:00:08Z")
You farging iceholes!! Old movie ref, for those who don’t remember the entire Michael Keaton canon. Well I successfully did nothing during my week off. I may mow the lawn this evening. (Voice over. He did not.) My back feels better, not great, but better, my dog is happy that I was home all day. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/328 "2026-07-19T20:15:01Z")
Howdy Y’all! We deheathenated (OYKW once; me twice) and then decided to just get back to da cave and make sammiches cause neither of us wanted to stop somewhere to grab food. It’s hawt out! We et and then achieved nappage. The biiiiiig trash can has been hauled all the way down to the road for pickup tomorrow. Now I feed the need to ward off scurvy and malaria and then watch stoopid stuff on teevee. Thus are things in swampland. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/329 "2026-07-19T20:21:50Z")
Did not attend church. The elderly (82) yr old woman who drives me was using her phone while driving last week, she had to correct the car twice. Went to the church lunch; it was their attempt at a kfc bowl-mashed tatos, corn, gravy, nuggets. Blah. Dorito sallit for supper along with my I would never miss it podcast. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/330 "2026-07-19T20:28:47Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > I do lurve my cruise control though. I love cruise control, too. Here in the boonies, most of the county roads don’t have stops or lights, so I can set it and not fret. But I prefer to control my own stopping and not rely on the vehicle’s computer to decide when to hit the brakes. I really worry that “drivers” will become little more than “steerers,” paying less and less attention to what’s going on around them. > [@Paintcharge](#): > > Old movie ref, for those who don’t remember the entire Michael Keaton canon. Love it! Thanks for the laugh!! Did you know your last name is an adverb? 😆 Just finished setting up the new TV in the guest room. Samsung used to be so much easier to set up - finding apps on this one has been a trial! I’m leaving the rest to Daughter when she sets up the accounts for her spawn. Gotta get **FCD** to follow me so I can drop off my car for service. We either do it now or get up early tomorrow. I’m voting for now. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/331 "2026-07-19T21:02:25Z")
I’ve just thrown away my [Micro-Light](https://www.amazon.com/LRI-PWK-Photon-Keychain-Micro-Light/dp/B00006I4Y2/?th=1). It’s lived on my key ring for about a quarter of a century. Although I’ve used it many times over the years, the original wafer batteries still had enough power to provide a dim light. Time to replace the two 2016s with a 2032. I can’t make it work. When I try to put the screws back in, the light comes on and won’t go off. It’s not worth my time to monkey with it anymore. I have an REI dividend, so I could pop in there. Or get one from Amazon. But since I rarely carry my keys anymore, I’m in no hurry. It does irk me to throw away a perfectly good gadget just because I can’t figure out how to change the battery (there’s only one way to do it), but I’ve gotten my money’s worth out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/332 "2026-07-19T21:38:52Z")
Got the car washed. It doesn’t take long, but it was quite humid in the garage and I seem to get weaker with each passing year. Also dusted out the inside. I’m going to make an appointment tomorrow with the needle guy and see if I can some steroid injections for the hips and maybe the shoulder. Crab cakes for dinner. Not even close to being my favorite food, but the wife likes them. We have an appointment with Chase Bank on Tuesday to set up an account. Special deal: if you deposit a thousand or more, you get a $400 reward from the bank. I wish it was $400 for EACH thousand, but I’ll take it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/333 "2026-07-19T22:06:01Z")
My car has been dropped off - with luck it’ll just need an oil change, but if Paul says it needs something else, I know I can trust him. So we’ll see. The rest of tonight is for heavy-duty chillage. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/334 "2026-07-19T22:58:25Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > You farging iceholes!! Old movie ref, for those who don’t remember the entire Michael Keaton canon. One of my favorite movies. > [@swampbear](#): > > We deheathenated (OYKW once; me twice) Quick question: are Whiskeypalians allowed to take communion more than once in a given day? Growing up RC, I know that some of the Eucharistic ministers didn’t partake during their second mass. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Here in the boonies, most of the county roads don’t have stops or lights, so I can set it and not fret. I’m always uncomfortable using cruise on surface streets and roads. It’s an open highway thing for me. We went to the flea market today. I knew it was big, but holy schnikies! I got some really cool dies, Sis got some signs for her greenhouse and BIL bought a new belt. Nelson was happy to see me when I got home. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/335 "2026-07-19T23:10:10Z")
Just after sixteen o’clock. The barbie’s heating up for the rib-eyes. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/336 "2026-07-19T23:21:32Z")
Well, that was a scare I didn’t need… I tried to log into my main email account - the one I use for all my bills, banking, and other important correspondence, and I couldn’t get to it. And when I went to the page to try to troubleshoot it, the phone number for recovery was not mine. Naturally, my first thought was HACK!!! So there was a way to message the provider, and meanwhile, I set about changing passwords, just in case. Shortly thereafter, I could access email again, and I changed that password, too. I’m going to go with “It was a glitch” and try not to lose sleep over it. eeesh… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/337 "2026-07-19T23:28:32Z")
Evening all. Dinner at Longhorn was good and I made my Brauschweiger run afterwards so am stocked up until Mid-September for lunchmeat. Soccer has been watched and will shortly prepare a couple sammiches for the evening repast. Got my vacation photos downloaded and cleared my phone, but apparently Google is still storing them in the Cloud somewhere so I’ll have to figure that out. There was just enough rain today to discourage me from mowing the yard, so will get that done sometime this week (I hope, rain is forecast the next 3-4 days). Otherwise a quiet Sunday. **Mollie** , sounds like last night was a good one. **FCM** , so far I haven’t goofed off on my driving, but it can be irritating at times, I admit. And have my car scheduled for oil change and tire rotation on Tuesday. **Oopsie** , hope the time with friends was good, both in dining and music. **JtC** , I have the same issue on speed, I can be tooling along, pass a guy on the freeway, look down and I’m doing 84mph. No tickets so far… > [@dogbutler](#): > > > [@AskNott](#): > > > > Lots of people get excited over getting a piece of ice. > > the good ice. Ice, Ice, baby! **Cookie** , need to get my car washed after the trip, probably go to one of the many car washes near me. And time for sammiches. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2026, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/338 "2026-07-20T01:22:37Z")
Howdy Y’all! Thought I’d sneak in one last post in this MMP. We’re havin’ a nice rain right now. Matter of fact I interrupted my readin’ to go out on the back porch to sit and listen to it. It’s still goin’ on as I post. I do love me a good rain! **Coppertone** I have never had a KFC bowl because the idea of all that mixed up together squicks me out. Especially of corn covered in gravy. ICK! **MOOOOOOM** settin’ up new stuff whether it be a teevee, phone, ‘puter or what not makes me say words that even Satan would not approve of. Sometimes it makes me consider runnin’ off and livin’ in a cabin deep in the woods, except I like a/c and indoor plumbin’ too much. I vote to drop the car off tonight. I see that you have done so. I see also problems with tech stuff. Ain’t it fun! **Cookie** hope you can get some relief for your hips and shoulder. **VanGo** I have never seen that movie. Now I feel I must. **red** it is perfectly OK to receive Communion more than once a day in the Episcopal church. Matter of fact current Priest insists on it. We LEMs (Lay Eucharistic Ministers) along with the rest of the Altar party, receive Communion first whilst standin’ at the Altar, so he feels it would not look right for us not to receive. Personally, I would be fine not receivin’ again, but we follow his lead. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2026, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/339 "2026-07-20T01:29:07Z")
Dinner tonight is steak(Rich People’s Aldi was out of poke loin), baked **N.O.T.** , and squash with tomato, onion and [Bobby flay]Calabrian chilies[/Bobby flay]. And a Wisconsin Old Fashioned. I ordered some magnetic picture frames for my fridge, so now I have all the important team schedules displayed(along with some hockey magnets). [![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/29828b6f70c653b3d3e3dac783d359f8/c870765175d30a45-5a/s540x810/4b88e7431f7786c243f0db8fee2bf0656255ac9d.jpg) ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/29828b6f70c653b3d3e3dac783d359f8/c870765175d30a45-5a/s540x810/4b88e7431f7786c243f0db8fee2bf0656255ac9d.jpg) > [@swampbear](#): > > **MOOOOOOM** settin’ up new stuff whether it be a teevee, phone, ‘puter or what not makes me say words that even Satan would not approve of. As a reminder, I am a Techomage, and I work for gin. [![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ce0face75e46330399de422c4a4c19a/dabe5b1ef3934966-1f/s540x810/6faced7e28fdec8c720bbc41b0f7109f2721bb9e.jpg) ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ce0face75e46330399de422c4a4c19a/dabe5b1ef3934966-1f/s540x810/6faced7e28fdec8c720bbc41b0f7109f2721bb9e.jpg) > [@Paintcharge](#): > > Old movie ref, for those who don’t remember the entire Michael Keaton canon. I love _Johnny Dangerously_! > [@Paintcharge](#): > > My back feels better, not great, but better, It’s a start. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I love cruise control, too. Carmen does not have cruise control or power windows or locks. She does have satellite radio and tire pressure sensors(and is a manual). I’d like to meet the person who optioned her. > [@missred](#): > > Growing up RC, I know that some of the Eucharistic ministers didn’t partake during their second mass. > [@swampbear](#): > > **red** it is perfectly OK to receive Communion more than once a day in the Episcopal church. In the Roam Catholic Church you can receive it twice a day as a participant. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2026, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637/340 "2026-07-20T02:01:34Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > > [@swampbear](#): > > > > **red** it is perfectly OK to receive Communion more than once a day in the Episcopal church. > > In the Roam Catholic Church you can receive it twice a day as a participant. Every time I hear about multiple communions, I remember **Mrs Magill** telling me about when she was an acolyte and had to finish, like eight wafers. And also this: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/IrMbkgOF2bI/maxresdefault.jpg "The Rev. Kate Bottley's Embarrassing Communion Wine Catastrophe! | Would I Lie to You?") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrMbkgOF2bI) **Mrs Magill** just texted me. She and **Squeaky** just made it to the hotel in State College, PA. Tomorrow, they’ll tour Penn State. Today, they stopped over in DC, where they visited the Holocaust Museum and saw the massive (lack of a) gash on the bottom of the reflection pool. Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-tell-a-stoopid-joke-mmp/1031637.md?page=18)