# (Old) Things ya gotta 'splain in the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 27, 2026, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588 "2026-04-27T06:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/1 "2026-04-27T06:01:52Z")
Well, you don’t hafta explain to _US_ cuz we’re all smart ‘n’ stuff. But then there’s the rest of the world. > “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” > > _Narrator:_ Ummm … I spent more than a few minutes at work earlier tonight listening to TWO people explaining to a 19? 20? year old what a _radish_ is. He claimed he’d never seen one, had zero concept of their existence. I believe they show up at this thing called a “grocery store” but here we are. Oh, and this all started as a result of a convo about potato salad vs. pasta salad, and things got weird from there. I … walked away. SO! Radishes! Wanna tell a story about something you had to explain while quietly thinking, “Am I really having this conversation?” … or just update us on your laundry/sandwich/rollsuck/naps. As per the usual. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/2 "2026-04-27T06:21:28Z")
Slouched on my disreputable loveseat, Siamese sleeping on my lap. Trying to find the momentum to get up, brush my teeth and go to bed. Bingeing an old Canadian series “Heartland” on Netflix. I’ll probably fall asleep in the middle of this episode and have to rewatch it tomorrow if I want to know what happened. Moxie doesn’t drool in her sleep, which is more than I can say for _moi_. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/3 "2026-04-27T06:50:18Z")
I remember having to explain to a discount store worker (IIRC Big Lots) what Neosporin is for. On a tech support call, had to explain to the adult helping his elderly relative the distinction between Shift and CAPS LOCK. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/4 "2026-04-27T06:59:35Z")
Up, caffeinated, and sheveled. Off to heave. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > … or just update us on your laundry/sandwich/rollsuck/naps. As per the usual. done and put away/eaten 13 hours ago/done/up from > [@Seanette](#): > > On a tech support call, had to explain to the adult helping his elderly relative the distinction between Shift and CAPS LOCK. Capitalization and YELLING AT CLOUD. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/5 "2026-04-27T07:21:07Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Wanna tell a story about something you had to explain while quietly thinking, “Am I really having this conversation?” Yes! Years ago I was installing new baseboards in a lovely old house we had at the time. They were exceptionally high, kinda 19th century style, and I planned to stain them to match the lovely golden hardwood floors. Bear with me here while I set the scene because this was truly other-wordly. Dealing with the inside corners would typically be done with a coping saw, but outside corners needed to be cut at a precise 45-degree angle. Unless you had a radial-arm saw, which I did not, this would typically be done with a mitre box, a wooden thing that has slots in it to precisely guide a saw at various angles. I asked a guy at the specialty lumber place where I bought the baseboards if they had a mitre box with sides high enough to accommodate the high baseboards, because such things were hard to find. He assured me that this wasn’t necessary, and showed me how you can lay the baseboards down flat and cut them at a 45-degree angle that way. I tried – over and over again – to explain that this would be fine if the baseboards were going to be lying flat on the floor, but baseboards – being baseboards – are usually attached to the wall, are so are in a vertical position, not lying flat on the floor! It was to no avail. He was either unbelievably stupid, or too embarrassed to admit his gross misconception. I wonder how he did in geometry class? Or did he ever go to school at all? Anyway, I ignored this genius’s advice to apparently nail the baseboards down flat on the floor, and found an adequate mitre box. The project turned out great, but in retrospect I probably should have just rented a radial-arm saw – it would have involved less manual labour! ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/6 "2026-04-27T07:59:07Z")
Morning, mumpers! It’s currently 12c/53f with a predicted high of 18c/64f and partly cloudy. Weather app says “Today is merely fucking average. Like plain yogurt or salad without any fucking dressing.” I work with students. Need I say more? I can’t remember the number of times I’ve had to explain the blindingly obvious, or direct them to a site they’ve used over and over, or even explain to them that “no” really does mean “no”. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/7 "2026-04-27T10:46:22Z")
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffeinatin’. _YAWN_ 'Tis 65 Amurrkin out and cloudy with a predicted high of 82 and sunny this afternoon. We will be our usual RDOS sloth selves today. There’s nowhere either of us needs or wants to be. Sounds like a fine plan to me. Sup will be sketties 'n meatballs, sallit, and cheesey garlic bread. Easy and always tasty. One of the perks of bein’ a RDOS is no longer dealin’ with the idiocracy on a regular basis. Can’t remember the last time I had to explain sump’n basic to someone who just could not grasp the concept. For that I am truly grateful. Now I need more caffeine and to feed rumbly tummy. Then, onward into the day! Rah. Happy Moanday Y’all! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/8 "2026-04-27T11:40:46Z")
Someone please ‘splain to me why it’s THIRTY-SEVEN FREEKIN’ FERRETS on April 27?? Almost MAY, fercryinoutloud!!! As a point of reference, the average low for this date hereabouts is 50 Ferrets. I am not amused, dammit. At the moment, I don’t recall any one specific occurrence, but I know there have been times where I was sure I was being pranked because of the blank looks I got. Despite the way I may come across here, I try not to be snarky in person, truly. But there are times I just want to scream “Did you sleep thru 3rd grade???” And to be fair, I may have given such moments to others, but I hope they were few and far between and totally attributed to lack of sleep or something… As you might guess, it’ll be another boat day, once it warms a bit. We need to pump the water out of the holding tanks, refill and flush them, then install and hook up the lines from the tanks to the strainer. From there, it will feed into the lines that are already installed, and theoretically, the water system will be finished. Fingers crossed. I also need to rollsuck the basement. The kids didn’t wreck it too badly, but Trevor got in and was chewing on a hunk o’firewood, leaving bits all over the place. And the dishwasher needs to be emptied. And I should probably rollsuck upstairs, too. And so it begins. Happy Moanday! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/9 "2026-04-27T12:16:05Z")
Greetings to all who are here, and to all who think they are here. Maybe they are right. I did not remember to turn the machinery to Heat before going to bed, so it’s 66 ferrets in here. It’s that time of year. Heat, open the windows, close the windows, cool, rinse, repeat. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/10 "2026-04-27T12:19:15Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Can’t remember the last time I had to explain sump’n basic to someone who just could not grasp the concept. Can’t remember ever having to do that, but any such activities have probably receded into the mists of time. Currently 44 Ferrets, out of an expected 66 for the day. Lowest expected high for the week will theoretically be 56 (Thu); highest expected low is 39 (Sat night). Another week of mostly RDOS appears to be starting, to be interrupted by PT Friday afternoon. Friday will also be payday, so we’ll do a bit of shopping after PT or sometime Saturday. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/11 "2026-04-27T12:35:54Z")
I was in our local supermarket, picking through the avocados to find a good (unbruised) one, when I was approached by a middle-aged man. He pointed to an item on his handwritten shopping list and asked if I knew where it would be. The item in question has just come into season locally (St George’s Day to Midsummer) and even has “protected status” here. There was a big display a couple of metres away. The item in question - asparagus. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/12 "2026-04-27T12:44:55Z")
I’ve related this elsewhere, but many years ago I went to a Sears store to buy some Velcro. I couldn’t find it, so buttonholed an employee and asked if she knew where it was shelved. The conversation went something like: Do you carry Velcro? Do we carry what? Velcro. . .? What’s that? What do you mean? I’ve never heard of that. (stunned silence) Ummm. . .you know, the stuff that’s used on shoes, wallets, etc. as a fastener? It makes a loud noise when you pull it apart. . .? (I approximate the sound) I don’t know what that is. How can you not know what Velcro is? Well I don’t. (by now my wife is pulling me away as my frustration with this fool is making me angry) Anyway, a new week in the MMP. We did get some rain last night, but no idea how much. The wife has her first PT session on Tuesday. We’re supposed to go on an outing to a local Indian restaurant on Wednesday. And her niece is coming over on Thursday for a bit. So a relatively busy week. I saw a really interesting recipe in the NYT for Cuban black beans, so I’ll be shopping for that today. It’s a stew made with smoked ham hock and some nice spices/veggies. Have a good week, all! ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/13 "2026-04-27T13:05:49Z")
Good morning. It’s 45F and mostly cloudy, with sunrise four minutes away. The day is expected to be generally cloudy, with a daytime high of 60F. I can’t think of a specific time I’ve had to try to explain something blindingly obvious (to me), but I know there have been such occasions. Not much on the agenda, maybe some laundry today. I spent yesterday weeding garden beds and containers and pots, along with turning and amending soil. When I started it was bright and sunny, and about an hour after I quit, the clouds started moving in. However, I got quite a lot done, and I’m happy about that. I had to leave one corner of the slope with native plants alone because there is a nest with eggs up there. Hopefully, mama and papa will be back. It’s hard to tell. It’s a Dark-Eyed Junco nest, and they like to nest in the oddest of places. I try to encourage them to nest in areas that aren’t bothered by setting up spots behind the planter, a foot or two away from the fence, but for some reason they chose a space that sees traffic from me. If I don’t see activity during the next week or so, I’m going to assume the nest was abandoned, which makes me a little sad. Today is supposed to be the final walk-through and key turnover for my son. I hope all goes smoothly. We’ll be heading down late tomorrow morning to help him move from his apartment to his new house, and we will stop to grab lunch for all of us before we get there. We’ll eat, then he and my husband will get the U-Haul, and I suppose I’ll stage stuff for loading into the truck. I’m not sure what the rest of the week holds, I suppose the usual RDOS stuff, along with another trip to the nursery sometime. You all take care, please. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/14 "2026-04-27T13:22:41Z")
Good Morning, all. **Mrs Magill** set her walking alarm this morning, so we were up and at it early. Remember how I said that Tennessee provides beautiful sun rises? It did not disappoint this morning: Over the Municipal Cemetery: [![](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55233924440_cb97e084c0_b.jpg) ](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55233924440_cb97e084c0_b.jpg) Ten minutes later: [![](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55232608732_998413a487_b.jpg) ](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55232608732_998413a487_b.jpg) We may have made a strategic error in giving Chloé all that whipped cream last night, as she _really_ had to go outside at 2:00 this morning. The raspberries are starting to come in, hopefully, I’ll have a bumper crop again this year. I also got the first tomatoes on the vine. I’m looking forward to homemade/home grown sauce this year. About twenty-some-odd years ago, for a show I was stage managing, I had to show someone only ten years younger than me how to open a capped bottle of coke and use a rotary dial phone. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/15 "2026-04-27T14:14:24Z")
Just remembered a 'splainin that my dad got. He’d bought a stopwatch to time commercials when he and my uncle were doing their radio show - this was back in the 70s. The watch worked great for a while, then it wouldn’t so he took it back to where he bought it. First thing the clerk asked - “How much are you winding it?” To which, Dad responded “Winding???” I hadn’t asked him the same question because it never occurred to me that my own father wouldn’t know something so basic - he was generally a pretty smart guy. Except about stopwatches. > [@Taters](#): > > help him move from his apartment to his new house, I hope he doesn’t have any extremely large or heavy stuff to move. To me, that was always the worst. Boxes are easy, king-size mattresses, not so much. Queens, too, that matter. Last move we had to do was getting MIL from her apartment to here. Luckily, we had dollies and a strong SIL to assist. Don’t strain anything!!! > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > use a rotary dial phone I’m trying to find an old one for sale to show my grands. But folks on Marketplace around here seem to think they’re rare treasures worth many $$$. The search goes on. I’ve showered and dressed, tended to the kitteh corner, including a good rollsuck and brushing her pillow - man, did it have a lot of kitteh fuzz on it!! I also rollsucked the rest of the main floor and I emptied the dishwasher. **FCD** said he didn’t need my help, so he’s gone to the boat without me. So in a bit, I’ll give the basement a quick clean, then set about recovering clay from the dried-out hunks in my studio. Roxy is excited about making stuff, so I want to get things ready. **FCD** is going to fix the exhaust vent from the bottom of the kiln, then run a new exhaust line out the side window. We used to have it connected to the furnace exhaust, but found out that’s a no-no when we got a new furnace. For the moment, tho, I’m having a caffeine break. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/16 "2026-04-27T14:19:40Z")
@bob_2 , how/why is asparagus protected status??? Severe storms predicted starting at 11 am. My only plan today is the chiro later this afternoon. Other than that, sloth will reign. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/17 "2026-04-27T14:31:58Z")
Happy Monday! Up, caffeinating, breakfasted (no, **Moooooom** , not breastfeeding) and fixing to do KP. Once sheveled, a fiels trip to Staples to exchange a CO2 cartridge is in order. I may even take Nelson with me. Stay safe and healthy y’all! ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/18 "2026-04-27T14:34:15Z")
It’s only one particular type, namely Vale of Evesham Asparagus that has that status. It is a special crop grown in a special soil in a particular geographic area and only to be picked and sold between St George’s Day, 23 April, and 21 June. Yes, I know ! 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/19 "2026-04-27T15:14:11Z")
I only had to load one 3 car set today. Whih was a good ting, because I was clerking Saturday packages till 6, spent 20 minutes loading, then spend 30 minutes on the sort table, before going back to loading. They apparently had a power outage Saturday, which contributed to the workload this morning. That also explained the [shattered auto glass](https://www.wral.com/news/local/atlantic-avenue-closed-crash-down-power-lines-april-2026/), chunks of telephone pole, and tire marks in the dirt on the sidewalk between the parking lot and the building. I got gas for Carmen after work, and bought a new hair dryer from Tar-Jay, since the old one started pinin’ for the fjords Sunday. > [@scareyfaerie](#): > > or even explain to them that “no” really does mean “no”. When I was in retail, I frequently had to explain to people that Federal law trumps “The Customer is always right” > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > But there are times I just want to scream “Did you sleep thru 3rd grade???” That’s why I want to become a wizard, so I can call people fools. [![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ce0face75e46330399de422c4a4c19a/dabe5b1ef3934966-1f/s540x810/6faced7e28fdec8c720bbc41b0f7109f2721bb9e.jpg) ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ce0face75e46330399de422c4a4c19a/dabe5b1ef3934966-1f/s540x810/6faced7e28fdec8c720bbc41b0f7109f2721bb9e.jpg) > [@AskNott](#): > > to all who think they are here. “I think, therefore I Mump”. > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Over the Municipal Cemetery: Nifty. > [@pjd](#): > > It is a special crop grown in a special soil in a particular > geographic area So it’s like Vidalia onions. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2026, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588/20 "2026-04-27T15:23:01Z")
earthday went well at the condo. people were happy with the prizes. today did not go to plan. i was to have a 10 am appt. for some reason there was a blip in the computer and my appt. was not in the system. good thing i called 3 times (before getting a human) this morning to check before i went to the office. usually you get soooo many confirmation emails, i didn’t get one. very suspicious. the human rescheduled me for friday. i am not an asparagus fan, but that is interesting. jtc, i’m glad the orange one is on her way to a permanent home. she has had a tough time of it. i one time had to explain area codes to a full grown mid twenties man. this was back when faxes ruled the world, the office i was in had hundreds going to and fro daily. we needed a full time fax person. he kept getting the beep beep beep error thing. i was in the middle of a blue print run and was not able to stand next to him. me: press one, area code, fax number, put the pages in face down. man: what’s an area code? me and the 4 other people in the room: ??? turns out he had never called outside the 215 area code. not even an 800 number. today i would just say press one and the 10 digit number. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/old-things-ya-gotta-splain-in-the-mmp/1029588.md?page=2)