# Older Woman + Under Aged Boy. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008 "2018-08-21T21:30:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/21 "2018-08-22T04:08:17Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > I thought the age of consent was usually around 16 or so. > > When I was 17, I dated a 33 yr old for a few months. Not my teacher or anything, just a guy I met. A lot of people disapproved but no one said it was illegal. It varies by region. In Australia, where you live, [it’s 16 or 17](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Oceania), depending on state/territory. [In the U.S., it also varies by state](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_the_United_States), from 16 to 18, being 18 in thirteen out of the fifty states. Some states also have provisions in their laws making it a less serious violation if the other party is close in age to the underage person (in other words, seeing it as somewhat less serious if high schoolers have sex together, than for a fully-fledged adult to have sex with an underage teenager). ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/22 "2018-08-22T10:25:30Z")
Great, that’s what we all needed. More school shootings. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/23 "2018-08-22T10:43:35Z")
Aside from agreeing that it’s not okay if the older person has a position of authority, I’m conflicted on this. Yes, someone could be emotionally harmed in a relationship with an older person, but I don’t recall everyone emerging unscathed from relationships with their contemporaries when I was younger. Birth control and STD protection might improve in cases where one of the participants is older. As far as the difference between teen boy and girls, I think a lot of the impact it how it’s handled. No matter how damaging the relationship was, the boy getting all the back-slapping “you lucky dog!” comments is discouraged from acknowledging any negative feelings. And girls, no matter how positive the relationship was (and the bar is low when you consider the competition is a teen male), she’s told he was a monster that took advantage of poor, sweet innocent you. It’s weird how people readily acknowledge how sexually aggressive teen girls can be with teen boys, but refuse to believe they’re interested in sex with grown men, and were always lured or duped. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/24 "2018-08-22T13:41:18Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I think there are rare cases in which younger rape victims don’t even consider themselves “victims”. The law can’t take into account rare cases. Nobody can say what the outcome of a particular relationship will be. All we can say is that there’s a high probability of a bad outcome, so it shouldn’t be allowed. Maybe there are some cases that work out just fine, or are even beneficial, but how do you legislate for that? How can those cases be distinguished? The only reasonable choice is to prevent real harm in most cases, at the cost of preventing some mild potential good in a few cases. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/25 "2018-08-22T13:52:10Z")
> [@GreenWyvern](#): > > All we can say is that there’s a high probability of a bad outcome, so it shouldn’t be allowed. What would you say is the probability of a bad outcome between a 17 year old boy sleeping with his teacher? Getting laid AND getting an A because of it? Sounds like win-win. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/26 "2018-08-22T14:00:17Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > What would you say is the probability of a bad outcome between a 17 year old boy sleeping with his teacher? > > Getting laid AND getting an A because of it? Sounds like win-win. Getting stuck with child support payments until he’s 36. Sounds like a fail-fail. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/27 "2018-08-22T14:04:32Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Getting stuck with child support payments until he’s 36. Sounds like a fail-fail. And that outcome is limited to 17 year old boys sleeping with their teachers? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/28 "2018-08-22T15:08:38Z")
Back when I was in school (UK, in the late 70s, early 80s): If a male teacher had sexual relations with a female student, he was unequivocally a predator; she was unequivocally a victim. If a female teacher had sexual relations with a male student, she was considered either naive or of loose morals - but never a predator; he was considered (by his peers) as some sort of hero character, and (by the school authorities) as a troublemaker - but never a victim. I think those views were pretty deeply ingrained at the time, and I don’t feel like they have completely gone away today. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/29 "2018-08-22T15:34:42Z")
I have to say throw the book at her. Regardless of whether I would have banged my hot art teacher in high school in a second if she came on to me, I don’t think there should be a double standard and I definitely don’t like the idea of men creeping on underage girls. I don’t want anyone thinking that’s OK. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/30 "2018-08-22T17:40:50Z")
If something had gone wrong, like someone finding out and/or her becoming pregnant, what then? It’s a cheap fling, she has no emotional investment in you, it is her word against yours as to who seduced who…and you were a 17 year old male with raging hormones. The ways such a situation can go wrong are numerous. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/31 "2018-08-22T17:57:07Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If something had gone wrong, like someone finding out and/or her becoming pregnant, what then? It’s a cheap fling, she has no emotional investment in you, it is her word against yours as to who seduced who…and you were a 17 year old male with raging hormones. The ways such a situation can go wrong are numerous. Other than “her becoming pregnant”, I can’t find anything that could be considered “going wrong” in this post. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/32 "2018-08-22T18:39:42Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Other than “her becoming pregnant”, I can’t find anything that could be considered “going wrong” in this post. Your response is equally sad and disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/33 "2018-08-22T18:45:16Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Your response is equally sad and disturbing. If you say so. You could be more specific in it’s sadness or disturbingness. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/34 "2018-08-22T18:47:32Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > If you say so. You could be more specific in it’s sadness or disturbingness. Here’s a clue: How much fun would it be to be labeled a sexual predator? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/35 "2018-08-22T18:49:05Z")
A 17 year old boy having sex with his teacher would be labeled a sexual predator? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/36 "2018-08-22T18:57:20Z")
To me, there’s something creepy and sad about an adult having a physical relationship with a teen. Heck, I think back to when I was 20 and men as old as my mother were hitting on me. Was I to be a notch on their bedpost? Or were they trying to prove that they were as vital as my contemporaries? Yep, creepy and sad. And the thought of me trying to seduce some kid -\* ick ick ick.\* And pathetic. But maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/37 "2018-08-22T19:02:12Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > A 17 year old boy having sex with his teacher would be labeled a sexual predator? No, but the teacher very likely would be. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/38 "2018-08-22T19:02:40Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > A 17 year old boy having sex with his teacher would be labeled a sexual predator? He might if it comes to her word against his, and she is trying to keep her job and/or stay out of jail. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/39 "2018-08-22T19:12:11Z")
Also, teen boys tend to brag about their supposed “conquests”, which only creates more witnesses against you if she says it’s your fault. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008/40 "2018-08-22T19:31:55Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > No, but the teacher very likely would be. Perhaps, but we are talking about things that could go wrong for the 17 year old boy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-woman-under-aged-boy/820008.md?page=3)