# older women,younger men **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 20, 1999, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519 "1999-09-20T13:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/21 "1999-09-22T02:10:00Z")
Almost all of my girlfriends have been older than me. When I was 21, I had my first (ahem) experience with a 23-year-old. When I was 23, I went steady with a 26-year-old. When I was 25, I got involved with a 34-year-old. At 27, I got involved with another 34-year-old. At 29, I was going out with a 38-year-old hermaphrodite, followed by a 41-year-old hermaphrodite (don’t ask). At 31, I had my most recent relationship, a 3-month affair with a spry young cutie who was only 51 years old. I’m now 34. I’ve had _brief_ (very brief) trysts with younger women, including a drop-dead-gorgeous 27-year-old bassoonist I got to have one incredible date with 4 days before I turned 29, but older damsels are the rule rather than the exception with me. * * * Visit the Internet Stellar Database at [www.stellar-database.com](http://www.stellar-database.com) ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/22 "1999-09-22T04:02:00Z")
I am in such a relationship now… I am 27 and my girlfriend will soon be 32, five years difference. Originaly this was more of a big deal for her then it was for me. In the past she had only been with men who were much older then her… me… I have prefered (but never dated) women older then me. We first met on the Internet in a chat room, hence, we got to know each other without ages first… a big plus. Eventually (after months of Phone talk and flights back and forth) I moved to where she was… that was just over a year and a half ago. If eventually we go our seperate ways I know that age had nothing to do with it. * * * The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember. -George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![TheIncredibleHolg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@TheIncredibleHolg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheIncredibleHolg)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/23 "1999-09-22T11:36:00Z")
A bassoonist, tracer? \< insert obvious salacious remark here \> ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/24 "1999-09-22T13:10:00Z")
After my second marraige, I was dating a 45-year old woman. I was 37 at the time, so I didn’t think too much of it. She was more apprehensive about it, at first. I would think after you reach your 30s, you should be emotionally mature enough that age differences should not matter. We could converse on just about any topics with a good degree of familiarity and interest. Her career and mine took us to different areas in the country, so too went the relationship. However, I had nothing but pleasant memories of that time. ``` My current wife is 13 years younger than me. That was not by design, rather by chance. Both my ex-wives were nearly the same age as I was, so there is really no guarantee in happiness by sharing a common age. I don't know how hung up people are on the age factor in a relationship. Sometimes it should be considered, but it has to be a case-by-case thing. Of course there are some speed bumps in an age difference of 13 years, in my example. Having been born in 1971, she has very little knowledge of those crappy TV shows in the 70s. I had to explain to her as we watched a * Hawaii Five-O* rerun, the entire cast of characters and the story line/history of McGarrett and Company. She watched with great interest, reminding me of old TV episodes where Spock studied an alien culture. She's very emotionally mature for her 27 years, and I'm 40 now, currently going on 25 as far as maturity level goes. It's a pretty good combination. ``` * * * “…send lawyers, guns, and money…” ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/25 "1999-09-22T14:58:00Z")
There are some general rules of thumb. Women under 30 yield.IE Give the guy what he wants because he wants it. Women over 30 are versed in something called ‘self sacrifice.’ In which they ‘give of themselves,’ which is kind of nice. ---
**Author:** ![Geenius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Geenius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geenius)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 1999, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/26 "1999-09-22T19:06:00Z")
In _The Autobiography of Malcolm X_, it is revealed that a wife’s age should be half her husband’s plus 7. Obviously the mathematics of this relationship break down fairly quickly, but I guess that’s why Islam allows polygamy. ---
**Author:** ![cody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cody)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/27 "1999-09-23T16:29:00Z")
I have read that, in general, men prefer women on average 3 years younger than them and that women, on average, prefer their male mates to be 4 years older than them. I think the book where I read this is called THE ANTHROPOLOGY OF SEX. ---
**Author:** ![Danny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Danny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danny)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 1999, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/28 "1999-09-23T16:42:00Z")
So no one can EVER be happy! ---
**Author:** ![NanoByte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@NanoByte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NanoByte)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/29 "1999-09-24T00:44:00Z")
What is maturity good for? It’s no fun, is it? Ray ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/30 "1999-09-24T01:49:00Z")
Supposedly, it’s better for the woman to be older since women (statistically) outlive men. I’ve dated an older man only twice in my life. Younger men seem to go for me (my age? let’s just say over 40); 5 years ago I was seeing a 29-year-old. He told me he preferred older women because they’re not fickle and flighty and know what they want. He wasn’t marriage material however; my current one is 9 years younger. (P.S. - I’ve found the sex to be better with the younger ones; although about 10 years ago, I was seeing a 22-year-old and he was, uh, well, too quick, if you get my drift. ) ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/31 "1999-09-24T02:31:00Z")
To all you men, of all ages, out there: I’m sorry. The p.s. in my first reply above – after thinking about it, I realize it’s a gross generalization, and I don’t want to offend you guys. I just meant, of my experiences, the younger ones were better at sex, but I’ve only had two older guys, and none my own age, so it was kind of a dumbass comment. Sorry guys. ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/32 "1999-09-24T06:39:00Z")
Hey, Sycorax. It didn’t sound like a nasty over-generalization to me. All you said was you’d found the younger ones to be too quick - who can disagree with that? Your experience is your experience. I always thought the differential could be a good thing too. Having it the other way around can leave lot of widows. I know someone who is a sprightly 50-year-old - her husband is a Parkinsonian 70-year-old. She’ll probably outlive him by 30 years. They’re a nice couple, and I admire their courage in standing up to Parkinson’s, but sometimes I feel as sad for her as I do for him. ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/33 "1999-09-24T06:48:00Z")
Damn, my post didn’t make a lot of sense. First, I meant that an AGE differential (older woman) could be a good thing, given different life expectancies. Second, I re-read your post, and it sounds like you were worried you had offended the older guys, not the younger guys. Either way, I’m not offended. Real men can take it. Huh! Need me to take out the garbage, missy? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/34 "1999-09-24T07:49:00Z")
Works for me: I deflowered the cutest little Mormon boy when he was 17 and I was 31. It was delicious. I’m now 41, and engaged to a man who is 26. We’ve been together nearly 5 years. It started as a “let me show you the way, young man…” thing, and we realized within the first year that no matter how whacked out it was, we were in love. I tease him now about something he said to me the first morning after we’d been together, as he was leaving: “You know, I can’t really think of you as my girlfriend…” No, just his wife! * * * * * * I am #1. Everyone else is #2 or lower. ---
**Author:** ![vanillanice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ecc23a/32.png) [@vanillanice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanillanice)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/35 "1999-09-24T13:08:00Z")
Stoidela,you go girl!(it was snarkberry was it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/36 "1999-09-24T16:37:00Z")
Vanil: Nah. But I learned alot about Mormons from him. And I was reminded, since I already knew, how religion can really make people sick. The poor kid was so twisted up in his head about his sexuality it was sad. He’s still a mess. * * * * * * I am #1. Everyone else is #2 or lower. ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/37 "1999-09-24T22:54:00Z")
Take out the garbage??? Hey, if you’re under 50, willing to do housework and cook, I’ll support you (oh, and the sex has to be good of course!) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 1999, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/38 "1999-09-24T23:58:00Z")
TheIncredibleHolg wrote: > [@](#): > > A bassoonist, tracer? > \< insert obvious salacious remark here \> Unfortunately, I was the only one out of the two of us to blow on the other’s bocal. 😉 * * * Visit the Internet Stellar Database at [www.stellar-database.com](http://www.stellar-database.com) ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 1999, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/39 "1999-09-26T14:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Works for me: I deflowered the cutest little Mormon boy when he was 17 and I was 31. It was delicious. I’m now 41, and engaged to a man who is 26. - Stoidela - - - Why do you think you are attracted to people so much younger than yourself? I ask because for various reasons I basically stopped dating when I was in my early 20’s, and I find that I automatically look at girls in that age group even though I’m now ten years older. Women my age all seem so _tired_. I don’t really know what they expect, never having had any experience with them. And I don’t know what they’d want me around for. My problem right now is that I am past the point where the average 20-yr-old girl is comfortable spending time with me. - MC ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 1999, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519/40 "1999-09-26T15:16:00Z")
Well MC, one has to wonder why YOU are attracted to 20-year-old’s. If you’re around 30, you mean women around that age all seem “tired”??? Don’t know where you’re looking, but older women these days are much more active, intellectual, ambitious, etc., etc. - maybe you’re hanging out in too many bars. As for why WE (older women) are attracted to younger men - well, speaking only for myself, I’m still attracted physically, but I don’t go looking for them as dates or as potential life partners (i.e., marriage material). I haven’t excluded any age group; my experience has been that the men who are attracted to me are either too young or too old. And by “old” I don’t necessarily mean age-wise. I’d date/marry a 60-year-old man if we were compatible - physical, intellectual, interests, etc. If you’re having trouble meeting women your own age, your worrying about it too much and looking too hard. Get involved in stuff that interests you, get out in the world, and eventually you’ll meet the right one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/older-women-younger-men/3519.md?page=3)