# Oldest idiotic arguments on TV/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 19, 2016, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295 "2016-07-19T07:36:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/21 "2016-07-20T01:43:59Z")
Anyone who’s a fan of idiotic arguments should enjoy [The Big Snit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1S5pAF1YYA). ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/22 "2016-07-20T02:17:22Z")
The Monty Python “Argument” sketch isn’t all that old, but it is magnificently idiotic! “I’m here for an argument.” “No, you’re not.” A classic oldie is Scrooge vs. Marley. (Marley wins by cheating, I’m sorry to say.) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/23 "2016-07-20T02:56:17Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > The Monty Python “Argument” sketch isn’t all that old, but it is magnificently idiotic! > > “I’m here for an argument.” > “No, you’re not.” > > A classic oldie is Scrooge vs. Marley. (Marley wins by cheating, I’m sorry to say.) “Oh, I’ve had enough of this.” “No, you haven’t.” “Oh, SHUT UP!” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/24 "2016-07-20T03:08:36Z")
[Laurel and Hardy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JX8pBqZ86E&list=RD2JX8pBqZ86E#t=134) would have to be contenders. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/25 "2016-07-20T15:00:23Z")
> [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](#): > > No, no. The time they were arguing about whether you eat your vegetables or meat first on a plate. Or all together. They were both on an enforced diet at the time. Dreaming of food. Mike wants it one way. Archie, showing his extreme mastery of any situation, argues for the sandwich. A perfect blend of meat, cheese, lettuce, dressing all in your mouth at the same time… excuse me, I gotta go make a sandwich. Which is what they did at that point. > > I’m sorry. That wasn’t idiotic at all. I remember this argument a little differently. Mike was eating all his veggies first, then all his potatoes, then the meat. Archie said you should eat them at the same time because that is what they call “a balanced diet”. I remember Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton having some silly arguments. Lucy and Ricky and the Ricardos and the Mertz’s ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/26 "2016-07-20T17:31:57Z")
Tastes great! / Less filling! ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/27 "2016-07-20T18:21:11Z")
Archie and Mike also argued about putting shoes and socks on. Archie insisted that it’s right to put both socks on first. Mike disagreed, saying that if it was snowy outside and he had sock and shoe on one foot and the other foot bare, he could do just fine hopping around on one foot! ---
**Author:** ![jsquire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@jsquire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsquire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/28 "2016-07-20T18:34:05Z")
Possibly my favorite comes from the opening scene of **[O Brother Where Art Thou](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/?ref_=ttqt_qt_tt)**… **Pete:** Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit? **Ulysses:** Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the consensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote. **Pete:** Suits me. I’m voting for yours truly. **Ulysses:** Well I’m voting for yours truly too. _Ulysses and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote_ **Delmar:** Okay… I’m with you fellas. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/29 "2016-07-20T19:02:55Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > “Oh, I’ve had enough of this.” > “No, you haven’t.” > “Oh, SHUT UP!” I want to complain! ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/30 "2016-07-20T19:19:49Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Archie and Mike also argued about putting shoes and socks on. Archie insisted that it’s right to put both socks on first. Mike disagreed, saying that if it was snowy outside and he had sock and shoe on one foot and the other foot bare, he could do just fine hopping around on one foot! Did you read the OP? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/31 "2016-07-20T20:35:24Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > The Three Stooges were making beer. > > Curly: I put the yeast in. > Larry: No, I put the yeast in. > Moe: You’re both wrong _I_ put the yeast in. > > They all look at the boiling pot of wort on the stove, which proceeds to explode. > > (which wouldn’t really happen; yeast multiplies anyway, but this is the Stooge-iverse after all) Actually, if you put the yeast into the _boiling_ wort it wouldn’t do anything at all because it would be dead. You add the yeast after the wort has cooled down. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/32 "2016-07-20T20:55:36Z")
It’s been years since I read it, but didn’t Aristophanes’ “The Clouds” show Socrates and his followers arguing about whether the humming sound of a fly comes from its mouth or from its ass? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/33 "2016-07-20T20:58:19Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Actually, if you put the yeast into the _boiling_ wort it wouldn’t do anything at all because it would be dead. You add the yeast after the wort has cooled down. Well thanks for ruining the whole episode for me now, I’ll never be able to watch it again now that I know it’s not technically accurate. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/34 "2016-07-20T21:26:33Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Tastes great! / Less filling! You got peanut butter on my chocolate. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/35 "2016-07-20T21:33:26Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > You got peanut butter on my chocolate. > > You got chocolate in my peanut butter. “It’s a floor wax!” “It’s a dessert topping!” “You’re both right - it’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping!” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/36 "2016-07-20T21:51:32Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > The first name on this subject: Mr. Preston Sturges [discussing a prior ‘serious’ film] LeBrand: It died in Pittsburgh. Hadrian: Like a dog! Sullivan: Aw, what do they know in Pittsburgh… Hadrian: They know what they like! Sullivan: If they knew what they liked, they wouldn’t live in Pittsburgh. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/37 "2016-07-20T21:56:47Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > The Three Stooges were making beer. > > Curly: I put the yeast in. > Larry: No, I put the yeast in. > Moe: You’re both wrong _I_ put the yeast in. > > They all look at the boiling pot of wort on the stove, which proceeds to explode. > > (which wouldn’t really happen; yeast multiplies anyway, but this is the Stooge-iverse after all) You forgot the best line, where they say in horrified unison, “We **all** put the yeast in!” I used that line for years to acknowledge when duplicate work was done. It’s an extremely useful line. Unlike “I thought you were Dale.” which MST3K inexplicably latched onto. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/38 "2016-07-20T22:01:13Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > You forgot the best line, where they say in horrified unison, “We **all** put the yeast in!” > > I used that line for years to acknowledge when duplicate work was done. It’s an extremely useful line. Unlike “I thought you were Dale.” which MST3K inexplicably latched onto. We need to make a concerted effort to use that phrase here as much as possible. I look to you, **Cats** , for leadership. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/39 "2016-07-20T22:25:04Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Archie and Mike also argued about putting shoes and socks on. Archie insisted that it’s right to put both socks on first. Mike disagreed, saying that if it was snowy outside and he had sock and shoe on one foot and the other foot bare, he could do just fine hopping around on one foot! We **all** put the yeast in! See how good that works? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295/40 "2016-07-20T22:42:57Z")
How about some commercials? “Candy mint!” “Breath mint!” “Less filling!” “Tastes great!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-idiotic-arguments-on-tv-movies/760295.md?page=3)