# Oldest known joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 26, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958 "2006-10-26T09:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/21 "2006-10-26T18:01:04Z")
[QUOTE=mack] Now _that’s_ funny! [/QUOTE] LMAO!! Spewed beer on the keyboard on that one!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Architeuthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Architeuthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Architeuthis)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/22 "2006-10-26T19:04:04Z")
Probably when the caveman first passed gas in a sealed cave and threw the mammoth skin over his harem. Kind of the equivalent of rolling up the windows in the car. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/23 "2006-10-26T19:13:39Z")
Eve: “Adam, dear, do you love me?” Adam: “Who else?” ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/24 "2006-10-27T00:03:16Z")
Adam to Eve, “Stand back! I don’t know how big it will get!” ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/25 "2006-10-27T09:05:05Z")
Adam to The Snake: Take my wife…please! ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/26 "2006-10-27T12:47:53Z")
I have a nomination if a joke = pun in your eyes. In one Sumerian creation myth the goddess Ninhursag created a beautiful paradise/garden on earth full of lush vegetation and fruit trees, (called Edinu). Anyway, to make along story short Ninhursag has a falling out with her lover Enki, she knocks Enki out, he is dying and to heal him she takes a piece of his rib, to create new goddess named Ninti which is a pun in Sumerian, as the word “ti” means both “rib” and "life.” - so it is a name made up of “Nin”, or “lady”, plus “ti”, and which can be translated as both Lady of Living and Lady of the Rib), If you think I am going to pretend that I think it is funny you can forget it - but here are 3 cites that call it a “pun” ([wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_and_Eve) ) or “joke” ([Cecil](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_095b.html) l) [Cite 3](http://ephemeris.com/history/mesopotamia.html) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/27 "2006-10-27T13:05:24Z")
The ancient Greeks had “dumb peasant” jokes, about which I read in a linguistics course back in the day. The Dumb Peasant heard that parrots live for a hundred years. So he bought one to see if it was true. Real wukka-wukka types, those Greeks. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/28 "2006-10-27T13:08:15Z")
[QUOTE=e-logic] There must be some examples of Hebrew jokes in the old testament? [/QUOTE] There’s the practical joke where some Israelites got a bunch of enemies to circumcise themselves…then slaughtered them anyway. Well, _I_ laughed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/29 "2006-10-27T13:10:47Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] The ancient Greeks had “dumb peasant” jokes, about which I read in a linguistics course back in the day. [/QUOTE] How about ‘wise peasant’ jokes? Hey, peasant, have you lived here all your life? Not yet. Hey, peasant, does this road go to Athens? I’ve lived here all my life, and it ain’t gone nowhere yet. Hey, peasant, I thought you said that water was shallow! Only comes up to here on my ducks. Peasant, there’s not much between you and a fool! No, just this little wall. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/30 "2006-10-27T13:14:00Z")
[QUOTE=e-logic] There must be some examples of Hebrew jokes in the old testament? [/QUOTE] Well, as **Bob Dylan** redacted the Book of Genesis: _God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son” / Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on”_… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/31 "2006-10-27T14:05:09Z")
**Q.** When is a rock not a rock? **A.** When it’s a rock. Humor, as a concept, still needed some work. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/32 "2006-10-27T15:56:53Z")
[QUOTE=MrDibble] There’s the practical joke where some Israelites got a bunch of enemies to circumcise themselves…then slaughtered them anyway. Well, _I_ laughed. [/QUOTE] No, even better- slaughtered them while they were all bent over in pain from the operation. 😃 Here’s a cite about humor in the Bible. [http://eny.dioceseny.org/0504/Humor1.html](http://eny.dioceseny.org/0504/Humor1.html) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/33 "2006-10-27T16:40:26Z")
Baseball, in _Genesis_: “In the big inning,…” ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/34 "2006-10-27T16:51:12Z")
I don’t know how old the myth is, or even if this is really as the myth was recorded, but I found it good for a hoot. When Ulysses and his sailors were trapped in the giant Cyclops’s cave, Ulysses told the Cyclops that his name was “No Man”. Later on, when Ulysses and his sailors stuck a burning log in the Cyclops’s eye, and Cyclops was screaming and carrying on, the other giants came out of their caves and called “Who is hurting you?”. Cyclops answered, “No Man is hurting me!”. Upon which the other giants said “Well, then, shut up all that screaming and let us go back to sleep!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/35 "2006-10-27T17:07:13Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] A Roman Emperor? Surely the ancient Greek comedies pre-date the founding of the Roman Empire. [/QUOTE] They did, and don’t call me Shirley. (Speaking of the oldest jokes ever.) I always thought the oldest joke ever was “Why did the T-Rex cross the road?” ---
**Author:** ![MrFloppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@MrFloppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFloppy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/36 "2006-10-27T17:56:51Z")
England… 832 AD Large Man with Dead Body: Who’s that then? Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king. Large Man with Dead Body: Why? Dead Collector: He hasn’t got shit all over him. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/37 "2006-10-28T07:01:43Z")
Allah: Hey God, what are you doing? God: Creating the universe. Allah: Ha, ha! That’s funny. I believe my signature line is perfect for this post. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/38 "2006-10-28T07:45:31Z")
Don’t know if it counts as a joke (more of a funny story), but this made me laugh… Its from Herodotus’ Histories (written about 440 BC), an Egyptian army deserts to join Ethiopia, so the Egyptian king Psammetichus runs after to convince them to change thier mind: > [@](#): > > Psammetichus … besought them with many words not to desert the gods of their country, nor abandon their wives and children. “Nay, but,” said one of the deserters pointing at his private parts\*, “wherever we go, we are sure enough of finding wives and children. - - this is how the version I read translated it, all the ones I found online are a bit more conservative and translate “with an unseemly gesture”, I guess nowadays (unlike those progressive BC 440’s 🙂 ) you can’t get away with saying that. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/39 "2006-10-28T22:14:50Z")
God’s helper: I noticed that you placed 2 million nerve endings in Adam’s penis. God: So? God’s helper: But you put 15 million nerve endings in Eve’s clitoris. Why? God: I like it when she screams my name. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958/40 "2006-10-29T01:17:03Z")
Cro Magnon #1 “How many Neanderthals does it take to knap flint?” Cro Magnon #2 “I don’t know.” Cro MAgnon #1 “None. They steal them from Australopithecus!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-known-joke/377958.md?page=1)