# Oldest living  human.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [November 28, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769 "2008-11-28T05:52:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/21 "2008-11-28T11:34:29Z")

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> [@Revenant\_Threshold](#):
>
> Out of interest, what parts of the Bible clue us in to Moses’ age?

From Exodus: Moses runs away to Midian (to prevent being called to account for killing an Egyptian slave overseer). At the time he comes back, he’s supposedly eighty.

Add in: whatever amount of time to sic ten plagues on Pharaoh and get the Israelites away to the desert. Lets say around a year (handwaving).

Forty years wandering around in the desert. Dies just before Joshua leads the next generation into Israel.

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**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/22 "2008-11-28T11:37:22Z")

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Oh, and the story of Enoch (Genesis) specifies that he never died - he was taken up to heaven bodily. So he’s got 'em all beat at somewhere over five thousand years (and counting). Beat that!

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**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/23 "2008-11-28T13:01:50Z")

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> [@Washoe](#):
>
> But the afterlife is _documented_ to contain a beer volcano. How can this be possible if you reject the notion of plate tectonics?

Simple. Volcanoes are not caused by plate tectonics. They are caused by [packs of migrating sea otters startling the mountain fish “who kicks up a right fuss.”](http://www.tikibartv.com/tikibar_display.php?vid=14&pver=f8)

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**Author:** ![Discordia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Discordia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Discordia)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/24 "2008-11-28T13:04:52Z")

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I could write an acronym, but for some bizarre reason it is against the rules to write that particular acronym.

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**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/25 "2008-11-28T13:15:58Z")

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> [@copperwindow](#):
>
> Yes, it’s a good read if you have never read it. I’d like to suggest you start at John.

Um, wouldn’t I miss all the good stuff about Moses if I start with John? Or do you recommend I work backwards from where the Roman soldiers fix Christ’s wound with a spear and pull him off of the cross, and end up at the part where the Big Guy performs the Uncreation?

Literalism is meant for furniture assembly instructions and technical manuals, you know. Mythology is supposed to convey general truths, not accurate data.

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**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/26 "2008-11-28T13:24:06Z")

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> [@xenophon41](#):
>
> Literalism is meant for furniture assembly instructions .

you’ve obviously never bought anything from Ikea… 🙂  
(oh, how I pray to the gods of carpentry for some good fundamentalist literalism.)

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**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/27 "2008-11-28T13:39:49Z")

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> [@xenophon41](#):
>
> Mythology is supposed to convey general truths,

Really? Did the Board of Certified Mythologists get together and write that prominently in their charter or something? Myths are the end-product of primitive attempts, often loopy or self-destructive, to make sense of a complicated universe, which attempts are still retained in a society long after it has figured out far better explanations for events the myths address.

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**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/28 "2008-11-28T13:49:06Z")

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> [@copperwindow](#):
>
> How can wikipedia claim that Jeanne Calment was the oldest living confirmed human? I faintly remember some dude named Moses living a good 500 years, or so my bible confirms…

Is Moses currently alive? No? Then he can’t be the oldest living human, no matter what your book says.

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**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/29 "2008-11-28T13:57:37Z")

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> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#):
>
> Myths are the end-product of primitive attempts, often loopy or self-destructive, to make sense of a complicated universe, which attempts are still retained in a society long after it has figured out far better explanations for events the myths address.

Well now, _there’s_ a more interesting shift to this thread!

I submit the following:  
[ul][li] **prr** ’s point is entirely correct, and[\*]my assertion is entirely consistent with that observation[/ul][/li]  
Talk amongst yourselves…

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**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/30 "2008-11-28T14:35:45Z")

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> [@copperwindow](#):
>
> Or even him, who lived til 900?

According to the bible, he lived to 969. Just how well-versed are you in the document you claim as, heh, gospel? Have you actually read any actual parts of it, or just repeating half-remembered summaries given to you by others?

In any case, Methuselah’s death is biblically documented (Genesis 5:27) so he wouldn’t in any case be the contender for oldest _living_ human.

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**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/31 "2008-11-28T14:45:25Z")

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> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> According to the bible, he lived to 969. Just how well-versed are you in the document you claim as, heh, gospel? Have you actually read any actual parts of it, or just repeating half-remembered summaries given to you by others?
> 
> In any case, Methuselah’s death is biblically documented (Genesis 5:27) so he wouldn’t in any case be the contender for oldest _living_ human.

Is it true, as I vaguely seem to recall, that if you work out all the years in Genesis, Methuselah died in the same year as the Great Flood? If so, it’s the kind of thing that makes you go “hmmm”.

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**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/32 "2008-11-28T15:17:58Z")

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> [@copperwindow](#):
>
> Yes, my bible **confirms** it.

Yeah? What confirms your bible?

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**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/33 "2008-11-28T15:22:59Z")

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An account by L. Sprague de Camp confirms a living Neandertal man, over 50,000 years old. I wonder if he knew Moses?

If only there were some way to look into the past and make sure. You could probably do that at Hogwarts, a magical school for wizards that is confirmed to exist in Britain.

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**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/34 "2008-11-28T15:28:13Z")

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> [@hotflungwok](#):
>
> Yeah? What confirms your bible?

Uhmm… God?

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**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/35 "2008-11-28T15:30:19Z")

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> [@Estilicon](#):
>
> Uhmm… God?

Right; and the Bible confirms God! See how neatly that works out?

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/36 "2008-11-28T15:33:02Z")

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> [@Baldwin](#):
>
> Right; and the Bible confirms God! See how neatly that works out?

Nice try, **Baldwin**. Everybody knows it’s turtles all the way down.

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/37 "2008-11-28T15:48:43Z")

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To quote that famed Scriptural scholar Ira Gershwin:

> [@](#):
>
> t ain’t necessarily so, it ain’t necessarily so.  
> De t’ings dat yo’ li’ble to read in de Bible,  
> it ain’t necessarily so.  
> …  
> Methus lah lived nine hundred years,  
> Methus lah lived nine hundred years.  
> But who calls dat livin’ when no gal will give in  
> to no man what’s nine hundred years?

I would be **very** interested in a serious discussion of the place of myth and legend in the Bibile, as brought up by **Xenophon** , and as opposed to (a) assuming the thing is intended to be reportage on the level of _All the President’s Men_ and then (b) casting aspersions on it and Christians generally.

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**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/38 "2008-11-28T16:48:15Z")

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The bible indicates that Elijah and Enoch never died. Enoch was the great-great-great-great grandson of Adam, the father of Methuselah and great-grandfather of Noah. Elijah came along many years later so I do believe that would make Enoch the oldest living man at somewhere in the neighborhood of 5500ish.

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**Author:** ![SharkB8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@SharkB8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SharkB8)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/39 "2008-11-28T16:59:07Z")

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> [@chappachula](#):
>
> you’ve obviously never bought anything from Ikea… 🙂  
> (oh, how I pray to the gods of carpentry for some good fundamentalist literalism.)

Check out [this guy’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ) resume in the box on the right next to “occupation.”

He can help you out with your [Bjursta](http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/50119167)!

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**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\
**Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/40 "2008-11-28T17:27:40Z")

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> [@copperwindow](#):
>
> How can wikipedia claim that Jeanne Calment was the oldest living confirmed human? **I faintly remember some dude named Moses living a good 500 years, or so my bible confirms** …

Nothing funnier than a condescending religious type who doesn’t know his or her religion very well. Meet them all the time. It’s been a good 13 years since I’ve read the Mosaic books and I [more than faintly] remember him being 120-something years old. Why don’t you spend more time studying your faith and less time bludgeoning people with it, copperwindow? I humbly suggest it might be what Jesus would prefer. For the bible tells me so.

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