# Oldest living human. **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 28, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769 "2008-11-28T05:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/41 "2008-11-28T17:48:25Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Obviously, the oldest man is Connor MacLeod. Wikipedia fails again. You mean Methos. Or did he die in that last movie (which I heard was awful)? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/42 "2008-11-28T18:25:48Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > No love for poor old Methuselah then? Methusaleh lived 900 years Methusaleh lived 900 years But why call that livin’ When no gal will give in To no man what’s 900 years? – _Porgy & Bess_ ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/43 "2008-11-28T18:26:02Z")
> [@Estilicon](#): > > Uhmm… God? Really? How do you know? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/44 "2008-11-28T18:28:30Z")
Mark Twain once wrote a story set in the days before the Flood, about how **crowded** the Earth was getting, because a human lifespan of centuries was normal (and reproductive cycles the same as now). ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/45 "2008-11-28T19:33:32Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > (oh, how I pray to the gods of carpentry for some good fundamentalist literalism.) Your Gods are false teachings. No sane and just God would allow Melamined particle board to become furniture. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/46 "2008-11-28T20:17:07Z")
How can Ace be one _and_ eleven?! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/47 "2008-11-28T20:18:29Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Methusaleh lived 900 years > Methusaleh lived 900 years > But why call that livin’ > When no gal will give in > To no man what’s 900 years? > > – _Porgy & Bess_ See post #32, my friend. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/48 "2008-11-28T22:16:11Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/49 "2008-11-28T22:31:49Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Really? Did the Board of Certified Mythologists get together and write that prominently in their charter or something? Myths are the end-product of primitive attempts, often loopy or self-destructive, to make sense of a complicated universe, which attempts are still retained in a society long after it has figured out far better explanations for events the myths address. Is it possible, **PRR** , that your distaste for the Judaeo-Christian myths has led you into some overbroad falsehoods here? **Xenophon** ’s statement is precisely accurate as regards the findings of scholars studying myth. Check out the technical literature, or even Campbell’s popularized works, for relevant background. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/50 "2008-11-28T22:41:54Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Is it possible, **PRR** , that your distaste for the Judaeo-Christian myths has led you into some overbroad falsehoods here? **Xenophon** ’s statement is precisely accurate as regards the findings of scholars studying myth. Check out the technical literature, or even Campbell’s popularized works, for relevant background. Well, the “scholars” are wrong then, or myths are really bad at their job. They seldom “convey general truths”, or any truth at all. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/51 "2008-11-28T22:48:29Z")
Right. Also, fiction is just crap someone made up, music can’t evoke anything and parables are useless for teaching singular lessons. And sarcasm is merely reverse psychology. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/52 "2008-11-28T23:41:03Z")
The “real” oldest person just died… [http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap\_on\_re\_us/obit\_oldest\_person](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_us/obit_oldest_person) ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/53 "2008-11-29T04:59:05Z")
> [@copperwindow](#): > > How can wikipedia claim that Jeanne Calment was the oldest living **confirmed human**? I faintly remember some dude named Moses living a good 500 years, or so my bible confirms… Perhaps Moses was never confirmed to be human? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/54 "2008-11-29T05:06:58Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > The “real” oldest person just died… > > [http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap\_on\_re\_us/obit\_oldest\_person](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_us/obit_oldest_person) She lived in Shelbyville? Didn’t she used to date Abe Simpson? **Poly** , that seems like an interesting idea for a discussion. ETA: A buddy of mine, [Leo Hildebrand](http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080920&content_id=3515118&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc), threw out the first pitch at a Cubs game at a buck-four. Played his last round of golf a few years back. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/55 "2008-11-29T05:24:11Z")
copperwindow… what is the problem here? I spent years reading every popular version of your bible. ( I used to be catholic, I am not now, thankfully) I will point out that your bible confirms a lot of nasty things: Your god is a Mysoginist ( Read about Jepitaph in Kings, and rape laws) Your god is a genocidal maniac ( Ever hear of the Iminites?) Your god is homicidal and likes child abuse ( flood the earth/tie boy to rock for sacrifice?) This all bibles confirm. I’d go on, but sadly, this is my first post, so I’m not here to necessarily insult, but if you belive all this, I have a real cheap room at the Taj Mahal hotel… ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/56 "2008-11-29T07:39:57Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Is it possible, **PRR** , that your distaste for the Judaeo-Christian myths has led you into some overbroad falsehoods here? **Xenophon** ’s statement is precisely accurate as regards the findings of scholars studying myth. Check out the technical literature, or even Campbell’s popularized works, for relevant background. This is the same Xenophon who wrote that I was “precisely correct”? I was objecting to the word “supposed.” Myths aren’t “supposed” to do anything because they aren’t invented for any clear purpose. No one sits around a campfire and says, “I will now make up a story that attempts to justify certain mysteries that contain data which has troubled our tribe since as far back as we can remember, and eventually we will all behave as if these inventions were not only true, but sacred. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.” I don’t think the Jews and Christians were any guiltier of making up myths than other peoples were, don’t even see how they could be. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/57 "2008-11-29T08:25:03Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > No one sits around a campfire and says, “I will now make up a story that attempts to justify certain mysteries that contain data which has troubled our tribe since as far back as we can remember, and eventually we will all behave as if these inventions were not only true, but sacred. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.” That is, likely, pretty much what happened actually. In the case of the Old Testament, there were roughly three groups each trying to accomplish a separate task. There were the learned scholars who were trying to piece together a history of the people and of everything, and a record of law so used introspection and common wisdom to achieve this. Then there were the priests who were concerned with moral lessons and proper respect for the priestly class. And then there were the prophets who were sort of famous philosophers and wonks from days of yorn who had left some sort of legacy that might have come from god, but more likely came from malnutrition, lunacy, or the magic mushrooms. 😉 But being the ruling peoples, they were indeed setting down reality and what is/isn’t sacred. Now that doesn’t mean that they were intentionally making stuff up with the idea that it was made up, but they were pretty much piecing together well-known stories and (probably) spicing it up to match what was “needed”. Scholarly labour didn’t quite mean the same thing as it means these days. Fiction and non-fiction weren’t really held separate since there was no apparatus to verify any tale you heard, so you just had to wing it. And since you know what is supposed to be reality, going by the morality of the week, adding what you think must be correct is just removing inaccuracies that must have crept into the popular tales. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/58 "2008-11-29T08:33:33Z")
Seems to me it’s very difficult to attribute a single intent to three independent categories of mythmakers working independently of each other, all working from a fourth group, the inventors of “well known stories” (which got invented by whom and when?). Other than that, you’re right, that’s “likely, pretty much what happened, actually.” ---
**Author:** ![Poor\_College\_Student](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Poor\_College\_Student](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poor_College_Student)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/59 "2008-11-29T09:32:58Z")
I think this would be a good thread for the people of SDMB to learn about [Internet Trolls](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)). ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769/60 "2008-11-29T09:58:02Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Seems to me it’s very difficult to attribute a single intent to three independent categories of mythmakers working independently of each other, all working from a fourth group, the inventors of “well known stories” (which got invented by whom and when?). Well it’s what I learned in Bible studies or from Cecil or somewhere. The fourth group is probably too varied, so that it’s not worth trying to pinpoint further. Most of it probably, at some point, comes from tales parents made up for their kids. The rest probably a couple of con-artist/true-believer/shaman types that were the first to start bringing folk lore stories together into a larger narrative (and establish themselves as an authority on it, first.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oldest-living-human/474769.md?page=4)