# Olympic sports we should have **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872 "2001-08-12T03:17:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/21 "2001-08-13T01:45:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ninja\_rydr \* > \*\*Rugby gets my vote. Most countries already have their own teams, plus New Zealand could prolly win its 1st Gold Medal \*\* _cough cough_ Wallabies _cough cough_ ---
**Author:** ![Ennui](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ennui/32/3396_2.png) [@Ennui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ennui)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/22 "2001-08-13T02:05:45Z")
Well, this isn’t a suggestion for a new Olympic sport, but rather a way to revive an existing one, men’s figure skating. Now I know Scot Hammel is a swell guy and all but to tell the truth I don’t know very many people who are all that excited about the sport, and of those I do know none of them are male. They should take a hint from the biathlon, where folks cross country ski until they find a target, pull a gun and shoot it. Now just imagine those men in tights doing pirouettes on the ice to the theme from love story, landing a triple Lutts, pulling a Glock and squeezing of a round. I can hear the commentators know “He caught that landing perfect but he missed the bulls eye, that will cost him with the American judge.” ---
**Author:** ![\_Uigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9a140/32.png) [@\_Uigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Uigi)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/23 "2001-08-13T02:09:02Z")
Oh, the hell with IROC! Let’s get right to the nub here folks! There’d be no happier crowd (worldwide) than watching the Nepal NASCAR team whip a little fanny! Just think of Team Russia in a specially perpared Zil tearing little Jeffie G a new restrictor plate. Leave the Olympics alone…unless you’re willing to advocate nude darts… ---
**Author:** ![JosephFinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@JosephFinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JosephFinn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/24 "2001-08-13T02:31:32Z")
Considering the skills of some Russian engineers, I’d love to see them work on a NASCAR vehicle. Man, that thing’ll take a corner… Realisitically (and sticking to actual sports), the Olympics should have four-wall handball. Now that’s a game of skill. Hell, I even have a slogan: “No weeny-ass rackets for these boys - just hands and balls!” ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/25 "2001-08-13T03:04:50Z")
Now that snowboarding is an Olympic sport, it would be cool to combine it with rifle shooting - competitors would have to make it to the bottom while hitting targets placed along the course. ---
**Author:** ![Oystaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@Oystaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oystaman)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/26 "2001-08-13T03:17:35Z")
They should play underwater Ice Hockey, with SCUBA tanks ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/27 "2001-08-13T03:24:28Z")
Sex. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/28 "2001-08-13T05:05:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \* > \*\*Sex. \*\* **urban1** already said that, 9 or 10 posts up. 😉 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Kittie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Kittie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kittie)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/29 "2001-08-13T05:30:54Z")
**Pie Eating**. We need to award people who can eat shit-loads of pie. ~Kittie _mmm…pie…_ ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Stewart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dave\_Stewart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Stewart)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/30 "2001-08-13T10:03:04Z")
Masturbation, with scores based upon the combination of volume, distance and viscosity. Gold for England. Silver for France. Bronze for Italy. ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/31 "2001-08-13T11:17:35Z")
Paper, Scissors Stone. Self-mutilation game. This is sick humour. You have ‘booths’ and a way of measuring pain. The conestant who causes themselves the most amount of pain is the winner. But here’s the clincher, they _can’t see each other_ so they don’t know how much pain to inflict on themselves. You could get someone cutting of their leg when his opponent only bruised his arm. genius. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/32 "2001-08-13T12:20:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ennui \* > **…men’s figure skating…They should take a hint from the biathlon, where folks cross country ski until they find a target, pull a gun and shoot it…** On first reading this post, I thought you were suggesting using the men’s figure skating as the target in the biathlon. Could be very interesting, as well as quickly weeding out the less agile competitors. ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/33 "2001-08-13T12:34:36Z")
**KICKBALL** is an obvious choice. Long overlooked international potential. [nitpick] **Mangeorge** IIRC, doesn’t the whole DEFCON scale run from DEFCON 5 (total peace) to DEFCON 1 (nuclear war)? So, the higher medals would be awarded for getting the scale to a lower number. At least that’s the way I remember it from that classic, **War Games**. [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/34 "2001-08-13T14:46:13Z")
Another vote for rugby here. It’s exciting to watch, requires true athleticism, and it’s already a worldwide phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/35 "2001-08-13T18:12:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Booker57 \* > \*\*In the winter games the two sports are cross-country skiing and rifle shoting. summer games would put together off-road bicycling and archery. Ride the trails with your bow over your back, stop at a station, shoot some arrows, and hit the trail again. Just my idea. \*\* My interpretation of the Summer Biathalon would be like this: You swim 200 meters, you get out of the pool and grill a steak. Then you jump back in the pool and swim another 200 meters. After that you can take off the cross country skis. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/36 "2001-08-13T19:17:11Z")
Olympic Streaking. It used to be spontaneous, but has been slipping of late. Each country sends a mixed team of ten exhibitionists to try and rack the most time spent and spectators shocked, with penalties each time the local fuzz busts 'em. I’d pay for the Triplecast if that was on. It’d make tight-ass countries like the PRC and the USA a lot less anxious to have the Olympics from now on, too. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/37 "2001-08-13T23:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tommy the Cat \* > \*\ ***KICKBALL** is an obvious choice. Long overlooked international potential. > [nitpick] > **Mangeorge** IIRC, doesn’t the whole DEFCON scale run from DEFCON 5 (total peace) to DEFCON 1 (nuclear war)? So, the higher medals would be awarded for getting the scale to a lower number. At least that’s the way I remember it from that classic, **War Games**. > [/nitpick] \*\* You’re absolutely right, **Tommy the Cat**. I’m a little (lot) slow on this military stuff, so I checled, right here; [http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/usa/c3i/defcon.htm](http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/usa/c3i/defcon.htm) I don’t really care, as long as they do it nekkid. 🙂 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/38 "2001-08-14T01:06:24Z")
I’ll second the nekkid part. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872/39 "2001-08-14T08:51:19Z")
Computer games! If they are going to add chess and bridge, why not? I bet a televised deathmatch between the world’s greatest Quake III players would get great ratings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/olympic-sports-we-should-have/75872.md?page=1)