# Omigod, I'm British! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302 "2004-04-27T16:56:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/21 "2004-04-27T23:45:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t like drinking tea, so does this mean Im not British? If not, what am I then? Oh, I’m so confussed! I like being British! I get to use words like ‘bloody hell’ and ‘snogging’! So? I use bloody 'ell , and I’m most certiantly not British. By the way, what exactly is “snogging”? ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/22 "2004-04-28T00:20:28Z")
Gosh. And I just spent $17 on Blue Willow patterned egg cups, trying to be British, when I qualified all along. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/23 "2004-04-28T01:37:49Z")
I don’t know where the book is, so the following is not an exact quote ‘I wanted to inlcude those things that, to me, define England-the royal family, sodomy, and the Anglican church.’ Clive Barker. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/24 "2004-04-28T01:55:21Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Gosh. And I just spent $17 on Blue Willow patterned egg cups, trying to be British, when I qualified all along. I thought it was “imitation” Royal Doulton with hand-painted periwinkles and a beige Trimline Princess phone that are _de rigeur_ for the Brits. (Damn, I miss that show - one stinking channel on the tv and it’s not PBS.) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/25 "2004-04-28T02:52:03Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > By the way, what exactly is “snogging”? Exquisite. It’s makin’ out. Y’know, some kissing and caressing. I imagine it means many things to many people. Dude. I’m from Wisconsin. Why am I answering this? Have I been reading too much Harry Potter?? ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/26 "2004-04-28T03:03:59Z")
Ummm Constable NO! Or is it Turner? Okay no to both of them then… Don’t care for tea much… can’t stand cigarette smoke… loathe cucumbers… Oh well I guess I’ll go hang about in Wales… Oh yeah and I like my Coke COLD! Not slightly under room temperature! BUT ICE FREAKIN COLD! ( do I have memories or what? ) ---
**Author:** ![Survivor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/51bf81/32.png) [@Survivor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survivor)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/27 "2004-04-28T03:26:28Z")
I grew up singing God Save the Queen, and when I was in London the other week had fish and chips, spell colour with a “u”, centre with an “re” and know that tea is always served hot… But Marks and Spencer? Other than frozen Shepherds pies and really basic underwear… No thanks… And where was Coronation Street on that list? It’s GOT to be higher than Marks and Sparks… Who put this list out anyway? :wally ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/28 "2004-04-28T03:31:28Z")
“An unwillingness to tackle foreign languages” is a British trait? Is there any trait more American than a refusal to learn another language? Okay, maybe shooting and/or suing each other but it’s definitely in the top three. I know it seems like the French are the champions of language snobbery, but all they do is complain about it. But we Americans live the credo, “if they don’t understand you the first time, you’re not talking loud enough.” ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/29 "2004-04-28T03:48:39Z")
Hate the Irish, the French, the Germans, and the Indians. Hate Catholics, and Hindus. Hate foxes. Hate anybody and anything which implies that such old fashioned thinking like the Empire wasn’t the finest example of civilization…by jove. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/30 "2004-04-28T05:11:33Z")
No Elgar or Henry Purcell. How odd. No boarding school either… that top eight per cent thing, I s’pose. Plus boarding is slowly dying out anyway. (found out my prep school was going all-day last week. I’m so very sad) Frankly, Indian people in cornershops are as British as _anything_ on that list. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/31 "2004-04-28T06:20:27Z")
**Enola** , I sentence you to a fortnight of Kipling’s poetry. Start with “Barrack-Room Ballads” and don’t stop until you know what a Tommy does when an oont gets into the water and why you never want to lose Lalange. As for being British… [ul] [li]I like the food fine, but I’d end up eating sushi and chips and putting sauerkraut on my eggs and sausage breakfast.[/li][li]I’m not a monarchist, but I wouldn’t actively try to murder a sitting figurehead.[/li][li]I can’t learn a foreign language to save my life, but I’m largely flexible when it comes to spelling.[/li][li]I love the Beatles. I love The Clash. I love The Sex Pistols, but The Ramones were _first_. 😉 I love The Stones. I can listen to most Monkees songs without feeling my gorge rising. And isn’t Radiohead British? Or just pretentious? :p[/li][li]However, I know that “Tally hoe” is what Hugh Grant said as he checked off “Make it with American hooker” from his To-Do list. “Tally ho” is what you say when you are chasing foxes with baying hounds.[/li][/ul] So I’m an American who’s been to London once, briefly, and enjoyed it. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/32 "2004-04-28T07:31:59Z")
> [@DeVena](#): > > I love tea. And fish-n-chips. Always felt a little attached to the Queen. Adore English breakfasts, the Beatles and I’ve actually watched a cricket match. And I’ve watched Man. Utd. play. (At a Mexican restaurant, but it still counts!) > > Doeus this meaun I muust staurt adding extra letteurs to words at randoum? No No No No No No No If you are going to be English, you have to get snobby with the language. WE invented the damn language, we don’t add extra letters, it’s the colonies that sometimes DROP letters. Once you get that down you can be English. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nifferka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@nifferka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nifferka)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/33 "2004-04-28T07:58:12Z")
I’m allergic to seafood, but I’ll eat chicken&chips, I don’t like tea with milk in it, never seen the inside of Buckingham palace, can’t stand the cooked English breakfast, don’t understand Parliment, can’t afford Marks&Sparks, have no idea what “master painter Constable” refers to, and I speak 4 languages (5 if you count British English as a separate language from American English). Never even watched “Coronation Street” or “Eastenders” but got hooked on “Neighbours” (oh, the shame) instead. What does that make me? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/34 "2004-04-28T08:23:18Z")
[Ah! the roast cream of Old England!](http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits2/fal0068.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/35 "2004-04-28T09:34:56Z")
Well, I’m British, and I reckon that list is a pile of bollocks. I’m a coffee drinker, have perfect teeth (thanks for that, **plnnr** ), don’t shop in Mark and Spencers, and would quite happily sell the Royal Family and all their assetts to Disney World, inbred bunch of parasites that they are. What do I think of as intrisically British? Punk; binge drinking at weekends; football (NOT soccer, for God’s sake); the Welfare State; the best swear words; cutting-edge fashion; casual bigotry; curries; self restraint; holidays on the Costas; a really weird attitude to animals (we lavish attention on our pets, yet allow the aristocracy to have foxes torn apart for fun); bad weather; a pessimistically stoic attitude best summed up by the phrase “musn’t grumble”; good manners combined with a general mistrust of strangers; and probably top of the list, a sense of humour which is best typified by the fact that mercilessly taking the piss of someone is a sign of great affection. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/36 "2004-04-28T10:08:26Z")
I too am ‘British’, although this seems to be bollocks as its the English that list refers too, which is as Jenny says, absolute shite. Aside from Fish and Chips, I _actively hate_ everything else on that list, and thinking you’ve had proper Fish and Chips in London is also wrong. Theres a north/south divide in how F&C are cooked, the north version being cooked in beef fat, the south in vegetable oil, with the north version being far superior to the southern version. Trust me. Contrary to popular belief, most people here have decent teeth. Austin Powers and the Simpsons ‘Big book of British smiles’ have a lot to answer for. I’m sure all you Americans would love it if I started a thread saying you were all Morbidly Obese inbred Rednecks with absolutely no idea about the world outside America and you never accept anybodys differing opinion, wouldn’t you? which is what that above list thing amounts to. I dont give a fuck what the above thing in the OP says, no-one I know here says things or thinks like that. and for those that don’t understand sarcasm, thats what the above is, rather than some kind of mission statement. And that my little chums, is the Straight Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/37 "2004-04-28T10:10:21Z")
Chips cooked in beef fat…_Droooool_. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/38 "2004-04-28T10:10:23Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > and for those that don’t understand sarcasm, thats what the above is, rather than some kind of mission statement. And that my little chums, is the Straight Dope. Apart from the bit about fish and chips. Which is gospel truth. The fish and chips are _far_ superior the further north you go. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/39 "2004-04-28T10:18:13Z")
Look out. The Northern Monkey’s are kicking off again. Was the North/south Divide anywhere on that list? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302/40 "2004-04-28T10:21:47Z")
Haddaway n shite, ya great Southern ponce. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omigod-im-british/242302.md?page=3)