# Omnibus Evil MFers in the news thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2023, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496 "2023-05-03T11:05:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 48
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/941 "2024-04-11T00:56:24Z")
Bearing in mind that we should not rush to judgement in this unfortunate case, how evil do you have to be to get banned from Walmart?\* > **[State representative candidate caught on camera putting his hands on teen's...](https://lawandcrime.com/crime/i-dont-know-how-we-devolved-to-this-point-state-representative-candidate-caught-on-camera-putting-his-hands-on-the-neck-of-a-17-year-old-at-walmart-cops-say/)** > > A candidate for a state representative seat has been arrested after he was allegedly caught on a Walmart camera putting his hands on the neck of a boy. \*“Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness!!” \*\*in case you were wondering, there are two degrees of strangulation in Kentucky. “Strangulation in the Second Degree (KRS 508.175) is a Class D Felony, carrying a potential penalty of 1 to 5 years in prison. Strangulation in the First Degree (KRS 508.170) is a Class C Felony, carrying a potential penalty of 5 to 10 years in prison.” It’s an entire [legal specialty](https://www.joshmcintoshlaw.com/strangulation). ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/942 "2024-04-11T01:17:48Z")
post withdrawn. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/943 "2024-04-11T01:28:25Z")
I read the summary and the first thing I thought of was Homer Simpson. [![](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/7/7c/Whyyoulittle.gif) ](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/7/7c/Whyyoulittle.gif) Then I clicked on the link and… Kinda close. [![](https://am21.mediaite.com/lc/cnt/uploads/2024/04/walmartattack.jpeg) ](https://am21.mediaite.com/lc/cnt/uploads/2024/04/walmartattack.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/944 "2024-04-11T01:44:07Z")
Ah but was the young man a future Democrat? That’s important! /s ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/945 "2024-04-11T02:39:04Z")
So that guy in the inset mugshot is the caliber of person Kentucky elects to represent the fine citizens therein. Or at least is the sort of person who thinks he has a shot at being so elected. I weep for our nation. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/946 "2024-04-11T02:59:25Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > how evil do you have to be to get banned from Walmart Some times you have to apply the true deterrent. > [@Jackmannii](#): > > It’s an entire [legal specialty](https://www.joshmcintoshlaw.com/strangulation). OK now my friend who went to U of K Law School is gonna have to explain to me slowly just how much stranglin’ is going on in the Bluegrass, that they get to statute not one but two distinct _specific_ strangulation offences and some of his colleagues get to put a “Kentucky Strangulation Attorney” banner in their practice’s site. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/947 "2024-04-11T03:01:35Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > So that guy in the inset mugshot is the caliber of person Kentucky elects to represent the fine citizens therein. Or at least is the sort of person who thinks he has a shot at being so elected. > > I weep for our nation. No need to weep just yet. The incumbent “sort of person” in District 67 is this woman. [https://legislature.ky.gov/Legislators/Pages/Legislator-Profile.aspx?DistrictNumber=67#:~:text=Representative%20Rachel%20Roberts%20(D)](https://legislature.ky.gov/Legislators/Pages/Legislator-Profile.aspx?DistrictNumber=67#:~:text=Representative%20Rachel%20Roberts%20(D)) > [@JRDelirious](#): > > OK now my friend who went to U of K Law School is gonna have to explain to me slowly just how much stranglin’ is going on in the Bluegrass One gauge would be the number of highway billboards advertising the specialty. I see plenty of ads for Personal Injury Lawyers and some for subspecialties like Big Truck Lawyers (whom I gather represent people [who get smooshed by tractor-trailers](https://www.kentuckycourage.com/truck-accident-attorneys/big-rig-truck-accident/)), but so far no billboards promoting Kentucky Strangulation Attorneys. “Our fees won’t throttle your wallet.” ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/948 "2024-04-11T03:13:24Z")
“Put the squeeze on stranglers!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/949 "2024-04-11T03:52:33Z")
\*We’ll make the choke!" ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/950 "2024-04-11T09:05:16Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > “Kentucky Strangulation Attorney” Sounds like a WWF character. Like **Irwin R. Schyster** ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/951 "2024-04-11T09:15:22Z")
“I might not be a highfalutin “Kentucky strangulation attorney,” but I understand it’s wrong the choke teenagers! Most of the time.” ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/952 "2024-04-11T10:03:07Z")
It does NOT look like that guy would be worried about being strangled. Sheese. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/953 "2024-04-11T13:19:39Z")
Funnin’ aside, it looks like Kentucky legislators put these laws on the books mostly to have a uniform way of addressing a common manifestation of [domestic violence](https://www.whas11.com/article/news/local/kentuckystrangulationlaw/417-be00e9de-73e9-4af1-ae29-dcbe4b398c88). ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/954 "2024-04-11T14:30:40Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Big Truck Lawyers (whom I gather represent people [who get smooshed by tractor-trailers](https://www.kentuckycourage.com/truck-accident-attorneys/big-rig-truck-accident/)) The confluence of the Law and the Marketplace will never cease to impress me. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/955 "2024-04-11T15:16:09Z")
BTW over on its own thread: > [@OJ Simpson has died](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oj-simpson-has-died/1000157): > > No longer the most controversial person to have ever hosted Saturday Night Live. Thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/956 "2024-04-11T22:52:27Z")
This morning I was driving into the office and listening to NPR, and they said something like, “Orville James Simpson, better known as OJ, has passed away…” And I thought… Wait, isn’t his name Orenthal? Have I been wrong about it all these years? After I got home I had to Google it. I was right. NPR made me doubt myself for hours. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2024, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/957 "2024-04-11T23:20:10Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > “Orville James Simpson, better known as OJ, has passed away…” > > And I thought… Wait, isn’t his name Orenthal? Have I been wrong about it all these years? _‘Under penalty of perjury, I hereby swear that those people were not murdered by Orville James Simpson.’_ ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2024, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/958 "2024-04-12T00:10:54Z")
> **[Nurse practitioner accused of rape, giving mistress abortion pills](https://scrippsnews.com/stories/nurse-practitioner-accused-of-rape-giving-mistress-abortion-pills/)** > > Married nurse practitioner Benjamin David Coots is accused of raping his mistress and giving her abortion pills. An NP whose extramarital lover (a former patient) got pregnant prescribed himself abortion pills, then shoved them into her vagina. Then he and his wife tried to bribe her not to go to the police. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2024, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/959 "2024-04-12T00:17:17Z")
> [@](#): > > …she claims Coots gave her coffee and was insistent that she drink it. Later that evening, she said he asked multiple times about her drinking the coffee during a phone call and “how it tasted.” Subtle. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2024, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496/960 "2024-04-12T00:25:53Z")
He doesn’t appear to be the brightest hammer in the bus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496.md?page=47) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-evil-mfers-in-the-news-thread/983496.md?page=49)