# Omnibus Religious Fucks in the NEWS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066 "2022-02-07T18:33:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1 "2022-02-07T18:33:04Z")
I felt this needed it’s own thread. This is for news items about Priests, Nuns, Pastors, Rabbis, and Shaman in the news caught doing shit that their religions say is forbidden. And to complain about the comparatively light sentences. First Up: [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nun-who-embezzled-dollar835k-from-torrance-school-to-fund-gambling-habit-to-be-sentenced/ar-AATzdB7?li=BBnbfcL](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nun-who-embezzled-dollar835k-from-torrance-school-to-fund-gambling-habit-to-be-sentenced/ar-AATzdB7?li=BBnbfcL) > Prosecutors recommend a 24-month prison sentence, three years of supervised release, and restitution. > > Kreuper acknowledged that for a period of 10 years ending in September 2018, she embezzled $835,339 from St. James Catholic School. As principal — a position she had for nearly 30 years before she retired — Kreuper was responsible for the money the school received to pay for tuition and fees, as well as for charitable donations, according to documents filed in Los Angeles federal court. And to compound the sin: > When an audit threatened to expose the scheme, Kreuper instructed St. James employees to destroy documents. Which I believe would bearing false witness and demanding that underlings do the same. 2 years my bleeding ass. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/2 "2022-02-07T18:43:17Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > 2 years my bleeding ass. - You’ll have to go to the rectory for that. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/3 "2022-02-07T19:16:01Z")
_I saw a preacher man in cuffs_ _He’d taken money from the church_ _He’d stuffed his bank account with righteous dollar bills_ _But even still I can’t say much_ _Because I know we’re all the same_ _Oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thrills_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/4 "2022-02-07T19:24:20Z")
Huh. I always thought of Saint James as being in Redondo Beach. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/5 "2022-02-07T20:13:00Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > > and restitution. Since it was a gambling habit, one presumes the money is mostly gone. Where is a nun going to get over $800K for restitution? Maybe she can crowd-fund it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/6 "2022-02-07T20:14:33Z")
Bake sale, maybe. I’d advise against holding a bingo tournament. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/7 "2022-02-07T21:46:40Z")
I apologize in advance for a joke in poor taste. A priest is walking through town at his new parish when a hooker approaches him. “Blowjobs for $20 if you’re interested”. Confused by this he smiles, blesses her and goes back to the church. He sees one of the nuns and asks her, “Sister, what’s a blowjob?” She replies, “$20. Same as in town”. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/8 "2022-02-07T22:00:23Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Where is a nun going to get over $800K for restitution? pray for more luck at the casino next time. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/9 "2022-02-07T22:55:48Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I apologize in advance for a joke in poor taste. Definitely in keeping with the thread title, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/10 "2022-02-07T23:08:51Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > “Blowjobs for $20 if you’re interested”. Inflation affects jokes, too. It was ten bucks when I first heard it. (And it was the more ambiguous “quickie” that costs the “same as downtown.”) ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/11 "2022-02-07T23:48:03Z")
How about a Pope emeritus, who as an archbishop covered up sexual abuse of minors in at least four cases and reinstated abusive priests into different parishes, got caught in a shameless lie about having attended a crucial meeting where one of these cases had been discussed, explains away this blatant lie as an editing error, argues that cases of exhibitionism are really no abuse at all and that priests didn’t commit their crimes as clergy, but as private citizens? Well, that makes for a religious fuck, doesn’t it?. I’m stunned that nothing of this has made big headlines in the international news yet, in Germany it created an earthquake for the Church that’s still going on: > **[Benedict Faulted for Handling of Abuse Cases When He Was an Archbishop...](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/20/world/europe/benedict-germany-sexual-abuse.html)** > > A newly released report by a law firm said the former pope mishandled at least four cases of sexual abuse accusations in Germany. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/12 "2022-02-08T01:23:00Z")
Sorry, I just became aware that the New York Times article is paywalled, so here’s a free link. > **[Pope Benedict XVI failed to stop sex abuse when he was an archbishop, law...](https://www.npr.org/2022/01/20/1074355457/pope-benedict-xvi-sex-abuse-report)** > > "In a total of four cases, we reached a consensus there was a failure to act," said attorney Martin Pusch of the law firm that was hired by the church to investigate decades of abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/13 "2022-02-08T03:33:11Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > She replies, “$20. Same as in town”. I heard the punchline as “$20. But since you’re my boss and all, I’ll only charge you $10 for the first one." ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/14 "2022-02-08T11:56:06Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Huh. I always thought of Saint James as being in Redondo Beach. Didn’t she marry Dick Ebersol? ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/15 "2022-02-08T13:58:17Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Huh. I always thought of Saint James as being in Redondo Beach. For all the saints in the Church, you’d think there would be more diversity in church patron saints: St James Church 415 Vincent St, Redondo Beach, CA 90277 St James Church 4625 Garnet St, Torrance, CA 90503 Per Google Maps, only 5 minutes apart, also. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/16 "2022-02-08T14:30:17Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > . . . argues that cases of exhibitionism are really no abuse at all and that priests didn’t commit their crimes as clergy . . . IOKWAPDI. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/17 "2022-02-08T14:39:50Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I apologize in advance for a joke in poor taste. Judge: How do you plea Nun: First amendment - It was part of my habit ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/18 "2022-02-08T18:31:19Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > IOKWAPDI. Sorry, I don’t know what that means, and google gives me zero hits. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/19 "2022-02-08T18:32:20Z")
It’s Okay When A Priest Does It. I assume. ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/20 "2022-02-08T18:36:24Z")
I assume the same and would add that it’s a variation on the more widely used IOKIARDI (it’s ok when a Republican does it). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=2)