# Omnibus Religious Fucks in the NEWS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066 "2022-02-07T18:33:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/301 "2023-06-18T02:27:19Z")
You might know them better as Whitman’s or Pangburn’s. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/302 "2023-06-18T02:35:37Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > > [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > > > I’d rather be a Calvinist. > > I don’t know the Russell Stover brand, but damn, that must be bad chocolate… Meh. Russell Stover is well, adequate, I suppose. What you want to watch out for is Palmer brand chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/303 "2023-06-18T03:21:55Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > They’re sinners and must be put to death. I’m assuming you’re kidding but if not, up yours. My parents marriage license had a flaw in it – the minister signed the wrong line or something – and it wasn’t discovered until years later. Luckily it was not discovered until some time after they’d moved from California to Arizona which was a common-law state (Cali was not) and they had proof of both cohabitation and consummation (me). ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/304 "2023-06-18T04:01:50Z")
Wait, what! Did your folks get married at a drive through Elvis chapel like we did? We learned to our dismay that drunk Elvis impersonators aren’t as good with paperwork as one would like cause we were the ones who had to pay to get it filed again. (We only got married because I was a government employee and he worked in the private sector. His much improved health insurance through my plan was much less expensive if we were married.) PS. As far as I know @kayaker is currently living in sin and has no plans to avoid hell by getting married. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/305 "2023-06-18T04:17:54Z")
No, they were married in 1942 before anybody’d heard of Elvis. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/306 "2023-06-18T04:31:21Z")
Wait - where does god stand on the whole marriage thing, if you flub your (fed) line during the vow? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/307 "2023-06-18T04:45:06Z")
Is Barack Obama‘s experience is any indication, they probably have to redo it in the White House with the Supreme Court Chief Justice ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/308 "2023-06-18T05:04:20Z")
Look - the female ordained Baptist minister was hard enough to find. Not to mention, the hard core Catholic grandfather (on her side… yea quaker heritage). I hope god and Tennessee are good with 20+ years of marriage and three sons. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/309 "2023-06-18T17:06:35Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Would at least work better than the bland cracker. Our pastor: “The miracle isn’t that the bread somehow becomes the body of Christ. The real miracle is that a stale, tasteless wafer somehow gets called bread.” ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/310 "2023-06-18T17:11:04Z")
You seem to have a cool pastor. 🕶 😁 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/311 "2023-06-18T17:17:06Z")
He is, but not as cool as the old senior pastor that slips a Lebowski line into every sermon. This is the one who’s a nerd about LOTR and Princess Bride (he once started a wedding sermon with “Mawwidge…”, and did an Easter service on “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.") ---
**Author:** ![Tride](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tride/32/13907_2.png) [@Tride](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tride)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/312 "2023-06-18T17:19:06Z")
I’m extremely non-religious, but I might attend that church… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/313 "2023-06-18T17:37:32Z")
> [@digs](#): > > He is, but not as cool as the old senior pastor that slips a Lebowski line into every sermon. > > This is the one who’s a nerd about LOTR and Princess Bride (he once started a wedding sermon with “Mawwidge…”, and did an Easter service on “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.") - Did the church have a Rectory Of Unusual Size? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/314 "2023-06-18T18:19:45Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > One would think that an omniscient god who cares about his flock would have let someone know. “Hey, bud. That wine you’ve started using has elderberry in it and I don’t like that. Pick another one.” I would think that a God who could change sub-par wine into hemoglobin, plasma and the like wouldn’t have any problem with a little elderberry. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2023, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/315 "2023-06-18T19:39:10Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > > > > [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > > > > > I’d rather be a Calvinist. > > > > I don’t know the Russell Stover brand, but damn, that must be bad chocolate… > > Meh. Russell Stover is well, adequate, I suppose. What you want to watch out for is Palmer brand chocolate My wife prefers and specifically asks for Palmer Easter candy. Weird, I know, but then she married me, so clearly she has a taste for oddity. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2023, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/316 "2023-06-19T00:50:08Z")
Didn’t a, or maybe the, Palmer factory explode? I’m not kidding. OK, here it is. [Chocolate factory victims: 7 killed in R.M. Palmer Company explosion identified - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7QcitXbQHk) ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2023, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/317 "2023-06-19T01:48:59Z")
We’ve had See’s here since before I was born (and I’m _old_), so I’ve never bought Russell Stover. I think I ate Whitman’s once when someone gave it to me, but one piece was enough. At See’s, you can go into the shop, and they not only won’t hassle you if you only want to buy one piece of candy, they’ll even give you a free piece even if you don’t buy anything. A “sweet” deal. ETA: I’ve never heard of Palmer’s. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2023, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/318 "2023-06-19T01:52:40Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > ETA: I’ve never heard of Palmer’s. - Lucky you. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2023, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/319 "2023-06-19T02:06:48Z")
I think a lot of the chocolate bunnies are Palmers, half anyway. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2023, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/320 "2023-06-19T02:13:34Z")
Yes, not a year goes by where I dont buy the $1 palmer bunnies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=17)