# Omnibus Religious Fucks in the NEWS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066 "2022-02-07T18:33:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 48
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/941 "2025-06-28T02:26:40Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > but what, pray tell (ㅋㅋㅋ), do they expect the average North Korean to do with US dollar bills? Burn them and the Bibles to cook the rice? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/942 "2025-06-28T15:00:27Z")
Please tell me a massive fine for attempted pollution is being considered. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/943 "2025-06-29T02:59:26Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > what, pray tell (ㅋㅋㅋ), do they expect the average North Korean to do with US dollar bills? Probably get executed by the regime if they’re caught with them, or the Bibles, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/944 "2025-06-29T05:02:22Z")
That’s what you and I believe, with good reason, will happen. My question, though, was what do these religious loons themselves expect. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/945 "2025-06-29T05:52:10Z")
Gosh, and I came here expecting to see news that Jimmy Swaggart, who experienced a cardiac arrest 2 weeks ago, was dead. Some organizations have printed Korean Bibles on paper imprinted with pictures of the Dear Leaders, because destroying those is illegal. That’s crafty, if I say so myself. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/946 "2025-06-29T16:52:04Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > do they expect the average North Korean to do with US dollar bills? Unsurprisingly there is a substantial black market economy in North Korea, it’s likely that hard currency would be quite valuable there, or for bribing corrupt officials. In any case in all likelihood they will eventually will find their way into the pocket of some upper level government functionary who has access to outside markets. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/947 "2025-06-30T00:20:59Z")
I tried to formulate what said religious loons might be expecting, but my brain overheated and I felt synapses snapping, so I had to go soak my head instead. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/948 "2025-06-30T01:10:44Z")
Of course there’s a black market there. That’s actually the only thing that kept people alive a few years ago during the “Arduous March”. But flashing around _American_ cash strikes me as a very good way to die for the average North Korean. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/949 "2025-06-30T02:51:30Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Some organizations have printed Korean Bibles on paper imprinted with pictures of the Dear Leaders, because destroying those is illegal. That’s crafty, if I say so myself. Destroying the Bibles might be illegal, but destroying the poor sods found in possession of them is still hunky-dory by Kim. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/950 "2025-06-30T03:34:42Z")
This article suggests that they are actually more common than one might think, especially among the wealthy. > **[US Dollars Become Currency of Choice Among Well-Heeled North Koreans](https://www.rfa.org/english/news/korea/us-dollars-become-currency-of-choice-among-well-heeled-north-koreans-02212018162155.html)** > > Wealthy citizens and high-ranking officials are increasingly converting their Chinese yuan to greenbacks. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/951 "2025-07-28T08:14:54Z")
I’ve a twofer for this thread. (^o^)/ First up: [Chief Shao Lin Monk is gettting his groove on.](https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/money-sex-buddhist-monk-head-052521872.html) > [@](#): > > China’s famed Shaolin Temple announced on Sunday that its abbot is under investigation for suspected embezzlement and “improper relationships” with women, reviving [decade-old allegations](https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/29/china/china-shaolin-monk-corruption-jiang?cid=external-feeds_iluminar_yahoo) against the controversial, high-profile monk. > > Shi Yongxin, known as “CEO monk” for his entrepreneurial endeavors that transformed the Buddhist monastery into a commercial empire, is suspected of criminal offenses including embezzlement and misappropriation of project funds and temple assets, the temple’s authority said in a [statement](https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/xLVRXNT09GdoPthFDlJb-Q). > > The 59-year-old monk was also accused of seriously violating Buddhist precepts by maintaining “improper relationships” with multiple women over an extended period and fathering at least one child, according to the statement. I can’t quote the whole article, of course, nor can I ruin it by cutting more snippets. It’s a great read, especially his response to the public outrage over the years. And second: [The Ayatollah’s a tad too laid back. Guess why.](https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/irans-supreme-leader-spends-days-061446766.html) > [@](#): > > Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei spends all day sleeping and using drugs while most of the country lacks access to clean water and electricity, according to a social media account linked to Israel’s national intelligence agency. > > “How can a leader lead when they sleep half the day and spend the other half high on substances?” the Mossad’s Farsi account wrote Friday on X. “Water, electricity, life!” > > “Consuming drugs and conversing with spirits are not desirable traits for someone leading a country,” the account wrote on July 9. > > The post came from a new X account with a premium subscription created last month, claiming to be the official Mossad spokesperson in Farsi — the official language of Iran — though the [Israeli intelligence agency](https://www.foxnews.com/category/world/world-regions/israel) has not officially confirmed the account’s affiliation. Yes, it’s probably from Mossad, but that doesn’t mean they’re just making up stuff. (Same link.) > [@](#): > > Khamenei’s alleged drug use has been suggested in the past, with an Iranian academic saying in 2022 that the Iranian Supreme Leader often uses drugs. > > “Many viewers do not know this, but Khamenei himself uses drugs,” Nour Mohamed Omara said on Muslim Brotherhood-affiliated TV [in Turkey](https://www.foxnews.com/category/world) at the time. > > “He has a special village in Balochistan, where the drugs used by the leader are produced,” the academic added. “This village is run by the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and no one is allowed in.” > > The Ayatollah publicly declared drug use as “un-Islamic” after the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Penalties for drug-related offenses can include death. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/952 "2025-07-28T13:44:04Z")
(quoting an article) > [@Monty](#): > > Shi Yongxin, known as “CEO monk” for his entrepreneurial endeavors that transformed the Buddhist monastery into a commercial empire, is suspected of criminal offenses including embezzlement and misappropriation of project funds and temple assets, the temple’s authority said in a [statement](https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/xLVRXNT09GdoPthFDlJb-Q). > > The 59-year-old monk was also accused of seriously violating Buddhist precepts by maintaining “improper relationships” with multiple women over an extended period and fathering at least one child, according to the statement. Sexy Monk Times aside, I would have thought “transforming a Buddhist monastery into a commercial empire” was **also** a serious violation of Buddhist precepts, but what do I know? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/953 "2025-07-28T13:44:08Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I’ve a twofer for this thread. (^o^)/ Do you think the Shaolin Temple guy and the Aayatollah ever partied together? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/954 "2025-07-28T14:38:19Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Do you think the Shaolin Temple guy and the Aayatollah ever partied together? Why not? One brings the drugs, and the other the women. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/955 "2025-07-28T14:58:26Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > > The Ayatollah publicly declared drug use as “un-Islamic” after the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Penalties for drug-related offenses can include death. The Ayatollah was a different guy in 1979, albeit, with a very similar surname. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/956 "2025-07-28T15:40:49Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Do you think the Shaolin Temple guy and the Aayatollah ever partied together? Coming this fall on ABC… The heartwarming story of a friendship that knocks down all cultural walls: The Monk and the Drunk! “Ain’t no party like an Ayatollah party 'cause the Ayatollah party don’t stop!” ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/957 "2025-07-28T16:28:55Z")
Throw in an American megachurch preacher with a coke habit and you’ve got the next HBO series on your hands ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/958 "2025-07-28T16:31:11Z")
Better: Ryan Walters > **[Oklahoma's Trump-Loving, Bible-Thumping Superintendent Faces Porn Probe](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/ryan-walters-oklahoma-superintendent-trump-bible-porn-1235394675/)** > > A video of naked women reportedly played in Ryan Walters’ office during an executive session of the Oklahoma State Board of Education. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/959 "2025-07-28T18:25:47Z")
“The Ayatollah, a Shaolin Master, and a Bible-thumper walk into a brothel…” ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2025, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/960 "2025-07-28T18:30:33Z")
‘And the brothel owner says "We only have one rope so you’ll have to share.’ That’s a very high flying David Carradine joke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=47) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=49)