# Omnibus Religious Fucks in the NEWS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 7, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066 "2022-02-07T18:33:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 51
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2025, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1001 "2025-09-24T05:30:00Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > And once again, they were wrong, It’s almost as if the stories from 2,000 year old shepherds are just the stories from 2,000 year old shepherds. But why repeat the obvious to anyone with a working brain? ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2025, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1002 "2025-09-24T09:19:15Z")
I’ve been inside all day and was expecting to be left behind. So the rapture didn’t actually happen? OK then. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2025, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1003 "2025-09-24T09:36:40Z")
The Rapture only occurred if you were re-listening to your collection of Blondie albums. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2025, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1004 "2025-09-24T11:33:56Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Earlier this year there was a practice run doing the full up sacrifice (meaning killing the heifer and burning it) on July 1 but not in the correct location so it didn’t count. Do you know what else makes it not count? Not having the proper priestly ancestry. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2025, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1005 "2025-09-24T23:50:12Z")
The Jewish people involved in the actual killing ceremony claim to have that proper ancestry. The cattle breeder is a Christian but there’s also some Jewish folks involved. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1006 "2025-09-25T00:08:34Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > The Jewish people involved in the actual killing ceremony claim to have that proper ancestry. And it’s pretty easy to check with genetic tests to be sure. Well, assuming that any of the people who claim Cohen ancestry are correct, at least. It’s possible that the entire line was cuckolded very early on. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1007 "2025-09-25T01:32:24Z")
There are so many men with legit Cohen ancestry that finding a few True Believers among them to do the holy butchering duties shouldn’t be too hard. That’s not what’s likely to be wrong about what they’re doing and planning to do. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1008 "2025-09-25T01:45:08Z")
Isn’t it only the Samaritans who believe this can be done outside the Temple? I honestly don’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1009 "2025-09-25T01:54:33Z")
The Samaritans apparently believe that no lawful Temple ever existed and that the Biblical Tabernacle was the only legitimate Sanctuary. So… yes? For the Jews the Red Heifer sacrifice was _always_ done outside the Temple, on the Mount of Olives. It never was a normal sacrifice so a lot of the rules around it are unique to that rite. It also was rarely done - supposedly over the whole time of the Tabernacle and Temples there were only six total Red Heifer sacrifices ever done. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1010 "2025-09-25T02:25:19Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > That’s not what’s likely to be wrong about what they’re doing and planning to do. ‘Oy, look, we humor the meshugana goys for a little and we get a nice brisket for free, what’s not to like.’ ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1011 "2025-09-25T17:17:17Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > The Rapture only occurred if you were re-listening to your collection of Blondie albums. From the Book of Debbie: [1] The Revelation of Fab 5 Freddy, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant Grandmaster Flash: [2] Blessed is he who goeth out to the parking lot. [3] And he enters his car and drives a great distance. [4] And he drives all night until he sees seven golden candlesticks; [5] And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. [6] And lo, this man is from Mars, and shall consume his head, and then he is inside the man from Mars. [7] His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; [8] And he begins to eat cars of all makes and models, and then shall eat the bars. [9] And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: [10] I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. [11] And now I only eat guitars. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1012 "2025-09-25T22:14:22Z")
The controversial Oklahoma superintendent of schools has resigned. One wonders who or what may replace him. > **[State Superintendent Ryan Walters resigns, sparking varied reactions at board...](https://www.koco.com/article/ryan-walters-resigns-sparking-reactions-at-board-meeting/68063524)** > > State Superintendent Ryan Walters announced his resignation, leading to widespread discussion at a Board of Education meeting, where attendees expressed hopes for a successor focused on students' needs. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1013 "2025-09-25T22:23:16Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The controversial Oklahoma superintendent of schools has resigned. He resigned to become CEO of something called Teacher Freedom Alliance, which exists ‘to assist educators in their mission to develop free, moral, and upright American citizens’, according to their website. They also have a whopping 2,831 teachers as members. Oklahoma alone has over 142,000 teachers in public schools. One wonders if he’s going to make more money than his $130k current salary. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1014 "2025-09-25T23:19:42Z")
He intends to destroy teacher’s unions. [https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5521586-oklahoma-superintendent-resigns-teachers-unions/](https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5521586-oklahoma-superintendent-resigns-teachers-unions/) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2025, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1015 "2025-09-25T23:26:46Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > He intends to destroy teacher’s unions. The Freedom Foundation is a steaming pile of shit. I’m part of a public employee union and get spam and junk mail full of lies and insults all the fucking time from those assholes. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1016 "2025-09-26T02:53:20Z")
Controversial theologian Voddie Baucham died today, aged 56, after an “emergency medical incident.” > **[Voddie Baucham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voddie_Baucham)** > > Voddie Tharon Baucham, Jr. (March 11, 1969 – September 25, 2025) was an American pastor, author, and educator. He served for nine years as Dean of Theology at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. > He was the Founding President of Founders Seminary in Cape Coral, Florida. > Born in Los Angeles, Baucham studied at New Mexico State University and Rice University, playing football as a tight end. He then transferred to Houston Baptist University, where he graduated with a B.A. He went on... ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1017 "2025-09-26T10:53:53Z")
Clearly it was “[Biblical justice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voddie_Baucham#Critical_race_theory)”. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2025, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1018 "2025-10-03T15:40:16Z")
Another good Christian man brought low by sexy, sexy children. /s > **[Texas megachurch pastor Robert Morris pleads guilty to child abuse](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqxz19lyredo)** > > Robert Morris, who founded one of the largest megachurches, sexually abused a 12-year-old girl. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2025, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1019 "2025-10-03T15:43:45Z")
The money quote from the article: > [@](#): > > President Donald Trump named Morris his spiritual adviser and a member of his evangelical advisory committee in 2016. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2025, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066/1020 "2025-10-03T17:52:06Z")
See, it’s not Trump’s fault he hangs out with pedophiles, he’s only following the advice of his spiritual advisor. Totally exonerated! /sarcasm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=50) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-fucks-in-the-news/959066.md?page=52)