# Omnibus "religious people who think they control the virus" thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2020, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616 "2020-03-29T19:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/121 "2020-04-08T19:04:02Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Our nightmare is over, folks. Pat Robertson [has got this handled](https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/04/07/pat-robertson-finally-rebuked-covid-19-demanding-no-new-cases-by-easter/). God said “gonna”? There’s the problem with getting His message around, I guess. The poor guy has atrocious grammar. I wonder if Robertson knows [this moron](https://www.wbap.com/2020/04/06/tarrant-county-megachurch-pastor-says-hell-blow-the-stinkin-virus-away/), who apparently did not understand what the Good Lord meant when He said, “You blow.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/122 "2020-04-08T19:44:06Z")
We just got a big ol’ Easter postcard from a regional (nationwide?) megachurch\*, proclaiming: “Easter means that you never have to fear death. Ever. (Talk about good news.)” What a relief. It seems that the Easter story is “designed specifically for streaming”. Who knew? \*Crossroads. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/123 "2020-04-08T19:57:55Z")
Death is the easy bit, it’s the living that’s hard ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/124 "2020-04-08T20:27:51Z")
I thought it was comedy? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/125 "2020-04-09T01:47:52Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > [Another pastor is charged](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/03/31/us/louisiana-pastor-arrest-tony-spell/index.html). Police chief says He is still doing it, saying [“True Christians do not mind dying”](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/louisiana-pastor-tony-spell-coronavirus-dying_n_5e8e0b53c5b61ada15c1823e)…or killing others for your own publicity, apparently. Why the fuck isn’t this guy behind bars? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/126 "2020-04-09T02:50:53Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > He is still doing it, saying [“True Christians do not mind dying”](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/louisiana-pastor-tony-spell-coronavirus-dying_n_5e8e0b53c5b61ada15c1823e)…or killing others for your own publicity, apparently. Why the fuck isn’t this guy behind bars? Wait a minute, here. The dude’s confusing me. If his superpwoerful religion protects him and his congregation from this disease, then how is it supposed to be killing members of that congregation. So, what’s he going to do when he gets laid low (perhaps six feet low) by this disease? Is he going to tell everyone that he’s not a true Christian? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/127 "2020-04-09T02:58:06Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > On a related note, I’m noticing a _lot_ of ads for Billy Graham’s outfit at this time. I cannot stand these fuckers in the best of times, but here they are now preying on the desperate and gullible. Like sharks that smell blood in the water. If it’s the ad I think you’re talking about, it’s his son Franklin Graham. I also saw one earlier today by T. D. Jakes, who’s also controversial for good reason. I hit the mute button whenever they come on, and I’m Christian. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/128 "2020-04-09T03:02:37Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > So, what’s he going to do when he gets laid low (perhaps six feet low) by this disease? Is he going to tell everyone that he’s not a true Christian? He doesn’t really believe that leopards will eat _his_ face. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/129 "2020-04-09T05:25:40Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > He doesn’t really believe that leopards will eat _his_ face. When I told my wife about that clown’s comment about dying in church, she siad, “Him first!” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/130 "2020-04-09T13:37:44Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Wait a minute, here. The dude’s confusing me. If his superpwoerful religion protects him and his congregation from this disease, then how is it supposed to be killing members of that congregation. So, what’s he going to do when he gets laid low (perhaps six feet low) by this disease? Is he going to tell everyone that he’s not a true Christian? Pretty much, yeah. It’s the standard fallback of the faithful when their faith proves ineffective. “Oh, you prayed and nothing happened? God read your heart and found out you didn’t really mean it.” or worse, “God moves in mysterious ways,” with a hand-wave. They _love_ to set Him up with can’t-fail options. > [@HuffPo in Monty's link](#): > > Rev. Tony Spell, pastor of Life Tabernacle Church in the city of Central, is facing six misdemeanor charges after defying Gov. John Bel Edwards’ orders aimed at curbing the spread of the coronavirus. Each count carries a maximum penalty of six months in jail and a $500 fine. > … > In previous interviews, Spell has argued that he’s being persecuted for his faith. He reiterated that point on Wednesday, comparing the stay-at-home orders that now cover most Americans to “tyranny” and “prison.” With a little luck he’ll have 36 months to figure out the difference between quarantine and prison. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/131 "2020-04-09T14:17:08Z")
Somehow, “virus handler” lacks the marketable zing of “snake handler”. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/132 "2020-04-11T14:10:36Z")
Easter Edition “Satan and a virus will not stop us,” said the Reverend Tony Spell, 42, pastor of the evangelical Life Tabernacle Church near Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He expects a crowd of more than 2,000 to gather in worship at his megachurch on Sunday. **“God will shield us from all harm and sickness,”** Spell said in an interview. “We are not afraid. We are called by God to stand against the Antichrist creeping into America’s borders. We will spread the Gospel.” > **[Some defiant U.S. churches plan Easter services, ignoring public health...](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-easter-usa/some-defiant-u-s-churches-plan-easter-services-ignoring-public-health-guidelines-idUSKCN21S10Y)** > > A handful of holdout U.S. churches plan to hold in-person services on Easter Sunday, saying their right to worship in person outweighs public health officials' warnings against holding large gatherings during the coronavirus outbreak. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/133 "2020-04-11T15:21:11Z")
Think of it as evolution in action. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/134 "2020-04-11T15:33:55Z")
> [@The\_Vorlon](#): > > Think of it as evolution in action. They’re protected because they don’t believe in evolution. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/135 "2020-04-11T15:57:02Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > "…We will spread the Gospel.” Yeah, you’ll spreading something, alright. Fucking vile subhuman. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/136 "2020-04-11T19:44:37Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > They’re protected because they don’t believe in evolution. > > 😃 I’m not sure we could call their design intelligent, though. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/137 "2020-04-11T19:54:06Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Death is the easy bit, it’s the living that’s hard Charles Manson said that once. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/138 "2020-04-11T21:18:21Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > **“God will shield us from all harm and sickness,”** If he wants a Bible-off, I can do that. The place where the Bible says this that is usually quoted is in Psalm 91. The first 7 verses have most of it, though I’ll also quote 11-12 [1] He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. [2] I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. [3] Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. [4] He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. [5] Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; [6] nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. [7] A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. [11] For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. [12] They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. That’s all well and good. But, here’s the thing. When Jesus was tempted in the Desert by Satan, Satan himself quoted from Psalm 91, telling him to just foolishly jump off the top of a high place, saying “He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.” What was Jesus’s reply? “Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.” (Matthew 4:7) So Jesus himself refuted the idea that you should just go out and be reckless because of Scriptural assurances. You are not to test God to try to make him save you from your own foolishness. And, yeah, saying you can’t “test God” might seem a cop out to those of us who are more experimentally minded, but at least it shows that this shit isn’t even Christian thought. It’s overinflated egos who don’t actually know Christianity, or how it could possibly have survived. If people actually thought you could just go out and do stupid shit like this with no consequences, the religion would be dead now. By my understanding of the Bible, this pastor is failing to do his duty as a pastor, which is to shepherd his flock. He’s putting vulnerable people at risk, all for his own glory rather than any of the Lord. He will have a rude awakening when he winds up in Hell. Because “whatever you do to the least of these, you also do to me.” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/139 "2020-04-11T21:35:24Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If he wants a Bible-off, I can do that. > > The place where the Bible says this that is usually quoted is in Psalm 91. The first 7 verses have most of it, though I’ll also quote 11-12 > > [1] He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High > shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. > > [2] I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: > my God; in him will I trust. > [3] Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, > and from the noisome pestilence. > [4] He shall cover thee with his feathers, > and under his wings shalt thou trust: > his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. > [5] Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; > nor for the arrow that flieth by day; > [6] nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; > nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. > [7] A thousand shall fall at thy side, > and ten thousand at thy right hand; > but it shall not come nigh thee. > [11] For he shall give his angels charge over thee, > to keep thee in all thy ways. > [12] They shall bear thee up in their hands, > lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. > > That’s all well and good. But, here’s the thing. When Jesus was tempted in the Desert by Satan, Satan himself quoted from Psalm 91, telling him to just foolishly jump off the top of a high place, saying “He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.” > > What was Jesus’s reply? “Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.” (Matthew 4:7) > > So Jesus himself refuted the idea that you should just go out and be reckless because of Scriptural assurances. You are not to test God to try to make him save you from your own foolishness. > > And, yeah, saying you can’t “test God” might seem a cop out to those of us who are more experimentally minded, but at least it shows that this shit isn’t even Christian thought. It’s overinflated egos who don’t actually know Christianity, or how it could possibly have survived. If people actually thought you could just go out and do stupid shit like this with no consequences, the religion would be dead now. > > By my understanding of the Bible, this pastor is failing to do his duty as a pastor, which is to shepherd his flock. He’s putting vulnerable people at risk, all for his own glory rather than any of the Lord. He will have a rude awakening when he winds up in Hell. > > Because “whatever you do to the least of these, you also do to me.” I’ve seen Christians posting this Psalms 91 on Reddit as if it means God will shield all believers from the coronavirus. I had to point out that hundreds of Christians already \*\*\*have \*\*\*been sickened by the coronavirus. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/140 "2020-04-11T21:49:32Z")
BigT, I’m going to save that post of yours, it’s excellent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616.md?page=8)