# Omnibus "religious people who think they control the virus" thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2020, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616 "2020-03-29T19:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/161 "2020-04-12T03:20:40Z")
I went back and refound the following link. Backstory: I’m a Kansan and some years ago there was a push to have intelligent design pushed in schools, as an alternative explanation for evolution. This was a “memo” from God. As a Christian myself I find it hilarious, and I’m totally in line with the attitude God has in this piece. [http://www.bertholf.net/Commentaries/KansasBOEmemo.htm](http://www.bertholf.net/Commentaries/KansasBOEmemo.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/162 "2020-04-12T09:30:20Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > So when we all turn out healthy, you will concede God did that? Considering how many outbreaks there have been post-religious gathering I wouldn’t be that confident/arrogant if I were you. You HAVE read that bit in the New Testament when Jesus is in the desert and Satan tells him to throw himself (Jesus) off a cliff and angels will rescue him (Jesus) and Jesus says don’t tempt God, right? If you haven’t, let me spoiler it for you: Jesus _doesn’t_ jump off the cliff. WWJD? Jesus would hold religious gatherings by Zoom these days to set a good example is my guess. This isn’t Satan’s Evil Influence, it’s a virus. If you don’t get sick it’s because you didn’t catch the virus, not because you prayed hard. What’s next on your agenda, snake handling? If you dance around with a rattlesnake in your hands and don’t get bit it’s because the snake doesn’t feel a need to bite you, not because you prayed hard. Likewise, those folks on the sidelines drinking strychnine out of moonshine jars don’t survive because they pray hard, it’s because the person mixing that drink kept it (you hope) under fatal dose levels. God presumably gave you a brain, and presumably wants you to use it. So do so. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/163 "2020-04-12T12:38:03Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > So when we all turn out healthy, you will concede God did that? Oh, it goes like that, huh? So then everyone who has died from the virus has been personally killed by your god? Fuck your god, and fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/164 "2020-04-12T12:52:16Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > So when we all turn out healthy, you will concede God did that? Will you concede that your God killed everyone who died of Covis-19? :dubious: I mean: he’s all-powerful, right? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/165 "2020-04-12T12:55:13Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > So when we all turn out healthy, you will concede God did that? Ha ha are you for real? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/166 "2020-04-12T13:38:44Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Oh, it goes like that, huh? So then everyone who has died from the virus has been personally killed by your god? Fuck your god, and fuck you. If you don’t want God, don’t use me as an excuse ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/167 "2020-04-12T13:51:42Z")
Fuck off. Jesus never rose from the dead. Jesus never walked on water that wasn’t frozen. Fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/168 "2020-04-12T13:54:42Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > If you don’t want God, don’t use me as an excuse One of the factors that drive people from God are people like you. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/169 "2020-04-12T14:28:35Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > If you don’t want God, don’t use me as an excuse Sorry, but you cannot have it both ways. If you were spared by the Grace of God then those who suffered or perished did so by the Wrath of God. We need to find the survivors, have an inquisition to see if they learned from their experience, and burn all those who do not recognize the Hand of God in this plague. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/170 "2020-04-12T15:02:51Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > So when we all turn out healthy, you will concede God did that? Please could you clarify which God you mean. Assuming you mean ‘Christian’; the vengeful murdering Old Testament one? The loving New Testament one? Catholic? Protestant? Latin Catholic? Eastern Catholic? Independent Catholic? Baptist? Lutheran? Methodist? Reformed? Pentecostalist? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/171 "2020-04-12T15:08:46Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > There are plenty of them to go around, but the one that finally caused me to start this is Kenneth Copeland, [who commands the virus by calling it "doggone](https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/03/29/scamvangelist-declares-covid-19-finished-after-commanding-god-to-destroy-it/)." > (This thread may also encompass religious people who know _why_ God sent the virus, and religious people who still think that it is Fake News.) > [@running\_coach](#): > > One of the factors that drive people from God are people like you. Not so. It’s their own stubborn hearts. Go on and pile on if it makes you feel better ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/172 "2020-04-12T15:12:51Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Not so. It’s their own stubborn hearts. Go on and pile on if it makes you feel better As always, worship in any manner different than the one YOU chose should carry a death sentence. If the State doesn’t allow it then you pray for God to confirm your exclusivity by killing the non-believers. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/173 "2020-04-12T15:37:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > [3] Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, > and from the noisome pestilence. I am reminded of one of Isaac Asimov’s essays in F&SF decades ago where he talked about how lightning bolts were especially seen as God’s punishment. If a dread disease cut a swath in the populace, people would think, “It’s my heathen neighbors He’s after, not me,” but when you’ve been struck by lightning you’ve been pretty well singled out. After Ben Franklin invented the lightning rod folks started installing them on their houses and barns, to the great displeasure of a lot of preachers. “You’re thwarting God’s will!” Thing was, what’s the highest point in your typical 18th century village? The church steeple. Church after church was being struck and set afire while the biggest sinner in the county – who’d installed lightning rods – was untouched. After a while, the rods appeared on churches, too. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/174 "2020-04-12T16:46:20Z")
Perhaps [this is the sign](https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/12/weather/easter-sunday-weather-tornadoes-storms/index.html) from god that people should stay home from Easter services. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/175 "2020-04-12T17:40:12Z")
Apparently this is all a plot led by Bill Gates to get us used to living under a communist regime, and only those who “pass” some secret antivirus test will ever be allowed out, the rest will willingly get on railroad cars to be taken… somewhere. Or so Facebook tells me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/176 "2020-04-12T18:05:50Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Not so. It’s their own stubborn hearts. Go on and pile on if it makes you feel better Ooooohhh! Now you get to be a _persecuted_ asshole! How special. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/177 "2020-04-12T18:44:03Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Perhaps [this is the sign](https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/12/weather/easter-sunday-weather-tornadoes-storms/index.html) from god that people should stay home from Easter services. [The Texas tornado was confirmed south of Marble Falls, about 50 miles east of Austin, the weather service said.](https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/12/weather/easter-sunday-weather-tornadoes-storms/index.html) I thought Marble Falls was in Arizona. That’s where Mike Teavee was from, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/178 "2020-04-12T19:23:00Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > [The Texas tornado was confirmed south of Marble Falls, about 50 miles east of Austin, the weather service said.](https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/12/weather/easter-sunday-weather-tornadoes-storms/index.html) > > I thought Marble Falls was in Arizona. That’s where Mike Teavee was from, IIRC. It was. Before the tornado. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/179 "2020-04-12T19:26:26Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Not so. It’s their own stubborn hearts. Go on and pile on if it makes you feel better Better a stubborn heart than a credulous mind. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616/180 "2020-04-12T20:01:01Z")
Note to Normal People: What Suntan Lotion “believes” is the complete opposite of what Jesus taught. Please ignore… (or pray for that whole church and the pastor who thinks a small group in a house without protection is a-ok). But come to think of it, I’ve looked back on some recent threads… and I’m going to assume we’ve got an insincere poster here. The last couple of posts have been beyond 11 on the ignorance scale (and -11 on the Caring for Anyone Else meter). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-religious-people-who-think-they-control-the-virus-thread/850616.md?page=10)