# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 147
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2930 "2022-04-05T13:38:53Z")
This all sounds like a modern rewriting of the “away in a manger” baby Jesus story, yah? ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2931 "2022-04-05T18:11:39Z")
The mayor of Big Springs, Texas welcomed the convoy with open arms and gave them a place to stay at the town’s air park. The convoy showed their gratitude by doing spin outs on the air park tarmac, damaging it. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2932 "2022-04-05T21:46:43Z")
Invite stupid guests; Win stupid prizes. ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2933 "2022-04-05T23:13:30Z")
nevermind ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2022, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2934 "2022-04-06T01:03:55Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > The mayor of Big Springs, Texas welcomed the convoy with open arms and gave them a place to stay at the town’s air park. The convoy showed their gratitude by doing spin outs on the air park tarmac, damaging it. - And somehow Biden will be blamed. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2022, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2935 "2022-04-06T01:39:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > And somehow Biden will be blamed. Well, obviously. The convoy exists because Bides is President. If we had had the good sense to retain Individual-ONE in the WH, there would be no convoy to begin with, so they would not be tearing up taxiways and clogging streets in DC. Hence, it is clearly Biden’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2022, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2936 "2022-04-07T03:58:33Z")
Been listening to hip hop lately and suddenly thought of Biden dirty (riding dirty). It’s late, forgive me ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2937 "2022-04-14T04:53:05Z")
Oh, no no! Must cleanse my brane with: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/O-4lk2-UA_I/hqdefault.jpg "AC/DC "Dirty Deeds" Done with Sheep......FUNNY.") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-4lk2-UA_I) and then: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/FQMbXvn2RNI/hqdefault.jpg "Cows With Guns - The Original Animation") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2938 "2022-04-14T05:35:53Z")
How does one (let alone four) rape a lizard? > **[Four arrested for gang-raping Bengal monitor Lizard in Maharashtra](https://www.opindia.com/2022/04/four-arrested-for-gang-raping-bengal-monitor-lizard-in-maharashtra/)** > > Four persons caught in suspect of hunting in Maharashtra, forest officials found they raped a Bengal monitor lizard > [@](#): > > As per the officials, the accused raped not only the four and a half feet long Bengal monitor lizard but also recorded the gang-raping act. > > The officials also found photos of rabbits, porcupines, and deer on their mobile phones. And porcupines? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2939 "2022-04-14T08:25:04Z")
They’re only pointy on the outside. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2940 "2022-04-14T13:02:03Z")
Ingrown porcupines are extra grouchy. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2941 "2022-04-14T18:18:19Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > And porcupines? I remember reading years ago the WWII memoirs of a Luftwaffe fighter pilot. He likened attacking a box of Flying Fortresses as trying to fuck a porcupine that is on fire. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2942 "2022-04-14T19:44:20Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/VUnkBX8Db80/hqdefault.jpg "The Hedgehog Song - from Wyrd Sisters in Canberra, 2012") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUnkBX8Db80) ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2943 "2022-04-15T02:19:01Z")
I came to post that one too my question was "Why would you ? " ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2944 "2022-04-15T18:16:20Z")
[A woman approached a mall security guard](https://www.arlnow.com/2022/04/13/acpd-woman-pepper-sprayed-man-for-taking-photos-of-children-who-turned-out-to-be-his-own-kids/) with the complaint that that pedoperv over there was taking pictures of children. The guard spoke to the man and determined that they were in fact the man’s own children. This explanation failed to satisfy the woman, who pulled out her pepper spray, used it upon the man, and scarpered off. I cannot help but think there must be something else going on here. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2945 "2022-04-15T20:27:09Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > This explanation failed to satisfy the woman, who pulled out her pepper spray, used it upon the man, and scarpered off. Here’s the really fucked up thing about this. I don’t know if anyone else has been anywhere near pepper spray before. That shit is NASTY. I remember living on the 3rd floor of an apartment building, and a guy got pepper sprayed in the lobby. Two floors above, in my closed apartment, the pepper spray got to me and set off my asthma. When I was in high school, someone brought pepper spray to school and set it off. In most of the hallways you would gag and they had to set up giant fans to clear it out. It is savage and affects everyone anywhere near it. Deploying it in a mall is going to affect a ton of bystanders, and we already know there were a couple of children nearby. If she gets caught, I hope she is charged with a serious felony. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2946 "2022-04-15T20:41:51Z")
It seems likely that she was using a purse-sized anti-rapist-type canister rather than a bear-bottle, so only the man was seriously traumatized. Nonetheless, it is still a chemical weapon that is prohibited from battlefield use, so hauling it out with minimal provocation or as provocateur should result in prison time. The story does not indicate whether he said “What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch??” or something similar, but there might have been some unspecified reaction on his part that got her scared. Or maybe he just made her uncomfortable in and of his existence. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2947 "2022-04-15T20:52:45Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Or maybe he just made her uncomfortable in and of his existence. I bet he had longish hair, or might not have appeared fully Caucasian, like one of those Eye-Talians. ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2948 "2022-04-15T20:56:28Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I cannot help but think there must be something else going on here. QAnon, perhaps? I mean, the guy was _obviously_ a child trafficker who kept himself looking young by means of adrenochrome… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/2949 "2022-04-15T21:09:28Z")
> [@SunUp](#): > > kept himself looking young by means of adrenochrome… Milk with knives in it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=146) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=148)