# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 165
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3290 "2022-06-06T04:33:10Z")
California man arrested for grand theft fruit. > **[Alleged avocado thief arrested for grand theft of fruit in Goleta](https://www.foxla.com/news/alleged-avocado-thief-grand-theft-fruit-goleta)** > > Authorities arrested a man suspected of stealing avocados from a ranch in Goleta. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3291 "2022-06-06T05:10:11Z")
That article missed the chance to be inventive about naming the perpetrator in _Emcyclopedia Brown_ fashion, e.g.: - The Avocado Abductor - The _Persea_ Plunderer - The _Lauraceae_ Larcenist Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3292 "2022-06-06T05:19:10Z")
The Evocative Avocutor? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3293 "2022-06-06T05:33:35Z")
Alligator Pear Pirate ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3294 "2022-06-06T06:05:57Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > That article missed the chance to be inventive about naming the perpetrator in _Emcyclopedia Brown_ fashion, e.g.: The author of that FedEx sex crash article would not have missed this. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3295 "2022-06-06T07:05:55Z")
The author of that FedEx sex act crash article would have found a way to put the two together. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3296 "2022-06-06T11:57:19Z")
Under the pseudonym, BJ Stonefruit. Technically, avocadoes are _not_ stone fruit. Work with me, people \ ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3297 "2022-06-06T12:37:49Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Technically, avocadoes are _not_ stone fruit. Preempting other people’s ability to nitpick you is not a good way to make yourself popular around here. Really, what do you expect us to do all day? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3298 "2022-06-06T13:11:21Z")
The Ayatollah of Guacamola. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3299 "2022-06-06T13:39:23Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Preempting other people’s ability to nitpick you is not a good way to make yourself popular around here. niturbation is frowned-upqn ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3300 "2022-06-06T17:01:10Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > California man arrested for grand theft fruit. They might have prevented an even bigger crime. He might have wanted to thro them at Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3301 "2022-06-06T17:22:38Z")
Florida Man arrested for fleeing the police claims he was just Leading The Way for the cops. [https://catcountry1071.iheart.com/featured/trending-in-florida/content/2022-06-06-man-arrested-for-fleeing-claims-he-was-leading-the-way-for-deputies/](https://catcountry1071.iheart.com/featured/trending-in-florida/content/2022-06-06-man-arrested-for-fleeing-claims-he-was-leading-the-way-for-deputies/) ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3302 "2022-06-06T17:23:27Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > grand theft fruit Not to second guess your joke, but I guess Americans don’t say “avo” to mean avocado? It’s a common abbreviation, but I can’t remember in which parts of the world. ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3303 "2022-06-06T17:34:24Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Not to second guess your joke, but I guess Americans don’t say “avo” to mean avocado? It’s a common abbreviation, but I can’t remember in which parts of the world. A local sandwich chain has an vegetarian avocado-based sandwich called “Avi’s Avo”, which means it’s a common abbreviation in at least some parts of the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3304 "2022-06-06T17:36:33Z")
The sub shop up the street has the “Avogobble” as their signature sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3305 "2022-06-06T17:47:19Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > The sub shop up the street has the “Avogobble” as their signature sandwich. And it costs only $6.2 x 10^23. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3306 "2022-06-06T17:50:10Z")
Major in something real, they said. Math and Science majors will always have good jobs, they said. Do you want mayo or oil & vinegar on that sub?, says I. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3307 "2022-06-06T17:50:18Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > And it costs only $6.2 x 10^23. Don’t exaggerate, that’s almost half the Fed’s balance sheet. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3308 "2022-06-06T17:57:39Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > he was just Leading The Way for the cops This defense has legs. Mr Oghenerobo needs to call Formula 1 aerodynamics designers to give expert testimony at trial on how the slipstream from the quicker Benz can allow the police cruiser to go at least 15% faster, and save the taxpayer money in fuel consumption. It’s hardly Mr Oghenerobo’s fault if the police cruiser was not equipped with a [KERS system](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinetic_energy_recovery_system). I mean, come on, this is 2009 technology. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/3309 "2022-06-06T18:42:21Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > California man arrested for grand theft fruit. Holy smokes. Not even a trunkload is more than $950 (I just looked up the amount for grand theft in Cali)? I’m going to look at those tubs of guac with a lot more respect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=164) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=166)