# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 275
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5491 "2022-12-12T22:17:50Z")
OK, so no renting Rug Doctor for me! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5492 "2022-12-12T22:20:53Z")
Ugh, that sounds incredibly creepy. A pedi sounds too touchy feelie for me. Still massage!? Ewww. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5493 "2022-12-12T22:22:09Z")
Ugh, the monster I unleashed. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5494 "2022-12-12T22:27:44Z")
You know curiosity and the p…uh cat and all. I’ll stop now. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5495 "2022-12-12T22:44:46Z")
> [@Sylvanz](#): > > OK, is that really a “thing”? I want to know what it is, but I do not really want to google it. You know what a Cleveland Steamer is? Like that, but more…localized. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5496 "2022-12-12T22:55:21Z")
Sounds like good old-fashioned capitalism to me! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5497 "2022-12-12T23:02:45Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > > [@Sylvanz](#): > > > > OK, is that really a “thing”? I want to know what it is, but I do not really want to google it. > > You know what a Cleveland Steamer is? > > Like that, but more…localized. Man, that sounds like a really bad idea. I would have to stop eating at the Y after something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5498 "2022-12-12T23:06:31Z")
ok now _that_ was well-played. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2022, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5499 "2022-12-12T23:52:15Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I would have to stop eating at the Y after something like that. Could you get a box lunch? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5500 "2022-12-13T00:14:21Z")
Even though this guy did something very stupid (spear fishing without a surface bouy or partner) he knows he screwed up and nearly paid dearly for it. > **[‘Grateful to be alive’: Diver who almost got run over by boat says he’s...](https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2022/12/10/wake-up-call-lesson-learned-oahu-diver-who-almost-got-ran-over-by-boat/)** > > "Your life flashes before your eyes you when you face death, but for me, I was just thinking I’m an idiot." ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5501 "2022-12-13T00:24:21Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Could you get a box lunch? Only if it has raspberry swirl. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5502 "2022-12-13T12:25:36Z")
Since we’re already on this disturbing tangent and discussing Gwyneth Paltrow’s obsession with a certain body part ([did anyone mention the candles yet?](https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jan/13/why-is-gwyneth-paltrow-selling-a-candle-that-smells-like-her-vagina-goop)), I feel we need to hear what it would have been like had her former partner and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin written her an appropriate song on the subject: [I Will Sing a Lullabye - Paul and Storm (Studio Version) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzRgmiQjHrA) Do make sure you at least keep listening to the end of the chorus. It’s not at all graphic but it’s probably just sufficiently NSFW to warrant the two-click rule. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5503 "2022-12-13T12:56:16Z")
She wants to _cook_ it? No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5504 "2022-12-13T13:11:06Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > She wants to _cook_ it? > > No thanks. - Steaming is the best way to cook a clam. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5505 "2022-12-13T13:11:53Z")
In Gwenyth’s defense, Brad Pitt left it a mess. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5506 "2022-12-13T13:17:05Z")
Oh, but he’s so purty. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5507 "2022-12-13T13:47:54Z")
The vagina is self cleaning. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5508 "2022-12-13T14:05:14Z")
With the Brad Pitt exception, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5509 "2022-12-13T15:03:18Z")
The Daily Beast has an [article](https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-dui-arrests-by-police-officer-jason-haferman-of-fort-collins-unleashed-chaos) about Jason Haferman, formerly an officer with the Loveland, Colorado police department, who charged many people with DUIs who were not drunk at all (BAC of 0.0). Some spent overnight or a few days in jail and one poor guy spent a year in jail before being released after a bench trial. The former officer resigned before he could be fired, and a police spokesperson said, “The internal affairs investigation did not identify any malintent or criminal violations.” There seems to be no way to ensure that he never get another job in law enforcement. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2022, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5510 "2022-12-13T16:21:42Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Steaming is the best way to cook a clam. You mean steamed hams. That’s what I call hamburgers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=274) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=276)