# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 292
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2023, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5831 "2023-01-11T23:14:57Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Again, not being an amateur murderer, my understanding is the loss of blood pressure causes the victim to collapse and then bleed out. “I haven’t murdered all these people just to be called an _amateur_!” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2023, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5832 "2023-01-11T23:18:09Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat. I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that. Especially on a first date. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2023, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5833 "2023-01-11T23:21:28Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > The poison did not take a couple of hours to go into effect (at least not in the book, that might have been in the original tweet). It took about 5 minutes from ingestion to death Well, okay, then. I’ll keep looking. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2023, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5834 "2023-01-11T23:48:13Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Again, not being an amateur murderer So, you’re a professional? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5835 "2023-01-12T01:05:08Z")
> [@Sinaptics](#): > > I was under the impression from extensive movie watching and reading that if the opportunity presents itself, stabbing someone in the back of the neck between the 2nd and 3rd vertebrae thus severing the spinal cord, brain stem, or both (not clear on this) was the way to go. Instant incapacitation and probably much less blood. It’s called “pithing”. I just saw that CSI:NY, too. Better than slitting the carotid.Arterial blood sprays EVERYWHERE. Or so I have heard… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5836 "2023-01-12T01:30:44Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > I remember in the _LOTR Two Towers_ commentary when Saruman got shanked by Wormtongue, PJ commented that Christopher Lee, who was in the [SOE](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Operations_Executive) during WWII, said when they were blocking the scene and rehearsing it told them, “Oh, no, that’s not what a person does when you stab them.” > > No further questions were asked., Ah yeah. One of my writer friends is a Marine who is always happy to show us how to properly kill people. Awkward. (And yup, he recommended pithing.) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5837 "2023-01-12T01:38:53Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > One of my writer friends is a Marine who is always happy to show us how to properly kill people. Awkward. > > (And yup, he recommended pithing.) And is his writing referred to as “pithy”? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5838 "2023-01-12T02:42:02Z")
I have some rather large wire ties (or, as heathens would say, “zip ties”) that would do a pretty good job, the advantage being the victim is deprived of vocalization, should lose consciousness rather quickly, and the blood stays inside. All theory, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5839 "2023-01-12T03:07:44Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > And for the record, if you ever get locked in a freezer, you’re probably screwed. (Though a lot of them have safety mechanisms these days.) Also, there’s often a switch on the blowers so you can turn them off. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5840 "2023-01-12T03:40:36Z")
[Meh.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Harvest) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5841 "2023-01-12T04:22:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Surely, the quickest knife death would be to just lop the whole head off? No, it’s surely to just throw the knife at someone really fast. [Like, 90% the speed of light.](https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5842 "2023-01-12T12:59:39Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > It’s called “pithing”. In a biology lab I pithed a turtle, then removed its heart which kept beating for the entirety of the 4 hour lab. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5843 "2023-01-12T13:26:26Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Better than slitting the carotid.Arterial blood sprays EVERYWHERE. That’s when you start looking for “three-piece rain suit” on Amazon. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5844 "2023-01-12T14:00:19Z")
That’s just taking the pith. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5845 "2023-01-12T15:05:38Z")
> [@digs](#): > > > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > > Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat. > > I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that. > > Especially on a first date. I would _never_ ~~confess~~ say something like that on the first date. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5846 "2023-01-12T15:09:44Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > The browser search history for a lot of writers can be appalling if you don’t know they’re a writer. Writer here. I was once looking for a feature image for my article about teenagers and tobacco use. I did a search for “smoking teen girls.” Won’t make that mistake again. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5847 "2023-01-12T15:09:58Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > [@digs](#): > > > > > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > > > > Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat. > > > > I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that. > > > > Especially on a first date. > > I would _never_ ~~confess~~ say something like that on the first date. - Prove you’ve ever had a second date. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5848 "2023-01-12T15:24:04Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > I did a search for “smoking teen girls.” Won’t make that mistake again. Google is much better now, I just tried that search, with and without quotes, and it gave me pictures and links about teen girls smoking. I don’t use safesearch settings. ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5849 "2023-01-12T15:34:46Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > In a biology lab I pithed a turtle, then removed its heart which kept beating for the entirety of the 4 hour lab. Kali Ma! Kali Ma! [https://thumbs.gfycat.com/PlaintiveFantasticDikkops-max-1mb.gif](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/PlaintiveFantasticDikkops-max-1mb.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2023, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/5850 "2023-01-12T15:56:24Z")
My father was looking for a harness for his bloodhound, and googled “leather dog harness.” Oops. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=291) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=293)