# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 36
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/705 "2021-06-02T19:19:27Z")
Term of art for wearing only chaps, no pants. Or maybe I’m wrong. Either way my wife will not approve of me showing my naked, newly gay ass on television. Plus, once you do a parade, I think according to first year gay protocol you have to go to all parades. Edit: shakes fist at **LSLGuy** for being a fast typer. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/706 "2021-06-02T19:20:18Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > the next thing you know I’m dressed in leather ass-less chaps on a float in a parade? Please let us all know the time and place of this parade! I love a good parade. I hope there is bagpipe music too. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/707 "2021-06-02T19:29:59Z")
> [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > I hope there is bagpipe music too. Played by guys in assless kilts, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/708 "2021-06-02T19:36:00Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Chaps are, by definition, assless. So, by definition, @mordecaiB would have a chapless ass? ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/709 "2021-06-02T19:39:05Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Played by guys in assless kilts, maybe? “Be still my beating heart!!” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/710 "2021-06-02T19:48:56Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > Plus, once you do a parade, I think according to first year gay protocol you have to go to all parades. If you think the initiation around here is rough, you ain’t seen nuthin’ compared to float riders’ initiations. Or so I’m told. > [@gdave](#): > > So, by definition, @mordecaiB would have a chapless ass? Chapped more like. At least after the initiation. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/711 "2021-06-02T20:09:56Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > If you think the initiation around here is rough, you ain’t seen nuthin’ compared to float riders’ initiations. Or so I’m told. And now I find myself strangely intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/712 "2021-06-02T20:14:05Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > The trainer of the Kentucky Derby winning horse, which tested positive for banned drugs Twice! > **[Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit's failed drug test is confirmed](https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/02/kentucky-derby-winner-medina-spirits-failed-drug-test-is-confirmed.html)** > > A second test of blood from Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit confirmed the presence of the banned steroid betamethasone, a lawyer for the horse's owner said. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/713 "2021-06-02T20:18:10Z")
Florida Man takes his ten year old son to go drive by paint ball shooting. One of the targets pulls his real gun and shoots the kid, who then falls out of the car and gets run over. > **[Florida 10-year-old shot after man returns paintball fire with real gunfire](https://nbc-2.com/news/crime/2021/06/01/florida-10-year-old-shot-after-man-returns-paintball-fire-with-real-gunfire/)** > > Thinking his home was under attack, a Florida homeowner shot and wounded a 10-year-old whose father had driven him to participate in a drive-by shooting with a paintball gun, police said. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/714 "2021-06-02T20:39:31Z")
It’s Florida Men all the way down. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/715 "2021-06-02T20:45:46Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > > [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > > > The trainer of the Kentucky Derby winning horse, which tested positive for banned drugs > > Twice! Thanks, Biden! ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/716 "2021-06-02T20:53:08Z")
Florida Man accused of illegally killing an iguana tries to use Florida’s stand your ground law in his defense. > **[Florida man accused of killing iguana wanted charge dismissed based on stand...](https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/florida-man-accused-of-killing-iguana-wanted-charge-dismissed-based-on-stand-your-ground-law-1.5452643)** > > A Florida man accused of killing an iguana last year wanted a charge of animal cruelty dismissed on the basis of the state's 'stand your ground' law. A judge has denied his motion. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/717 "2021-06-02T21:09:26Z")
And yet the official Florida policy is that the only good iguana is a dead iguana. So he was just supposed to kill it nicer? > **['This is not the wild west': Florida officials clarify stance on green...](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/07/25/green-iguanas-florida-clarifies-message-kill-whenever-possible/1833420001/)** > > The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is asking residents to seek help from professionals if they can't safely remove green iguanas. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/718 "2021-06-02T21:21:42Z")
You can use that on black iguanas. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/719 "2021-06-02T22:39:25Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Florida Man takes his ten year old son to go drive by paint ball shooting. One of the targets pulls his real gun and shoots the kid, who then falls out of the car and gets run over. “I was attacked, and forced to defend myself. Please send the police and an ambulance.” [https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/uploads/2016/9/24/wallet-card.jpg](https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/uploads/2016/9/24/wallet-card.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/720 "2021-06-02T22:41:38Z")
In this case, I don’t all blame the homeowner for shooting. The father and kid were stupid not to think this could go very, very wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/721 "2021-06-02T22:54:52Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Florida Man accused of illegally killing an iguana tries to use Florida’s stand your ground law in his defense. Here today, iguana tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/722 "2021-06-03T00:29:37Z")
Here’s my favorite legal blogger’s take on the iguana murder: > **[Court Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer’s “Stand Your Ground” Defense – Lowering...](https://www.loweringthebar.net/2021/06/iguana-killers-stand-your-ground-defense-fails.html)** We have lots of those iguanas around here. They’re big, they’re pretty, they’re docile, and they’re human-shy. Not much to fear there. But the do poop like geese. And apparently they attract not only flies but also morons. ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/723 "2021-06-03T00:52:24Z")
We need a separate Omnibus Stupid Florida Mans thread. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/724 "2021-06-03T01:04:14Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > We have lots of those iguanas around here. They’re big, they’re pretty, they’re docile, and they’re human-shy. Not much to fear there. **But the do poop like geese. -** But are they greasy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=35) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=37)