# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 360
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2023, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7191 "2023-04-25T22:56:43Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > it has to be big enough to fit the tracking microchip. Getting the chip in your bloodstream is one thing. I want to know how they seat it in the printed circuit board, and how they assure proper power polarity. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7192 "2023-04-26T02:18:40Z")
They’re lucky that Bill Gates’s DNA has an anode and a cathode. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7193 "2023-04-26T02:37:31Z")
Christ. How do you find the _time_? I guess, as is the case so often, it’s all about priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7194 "2023-04-26T02:54:02Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Anyway, why’d he get charged? Don’t people try to bring guns on the plane all the time without getting charged for it? There is getting charged, and then there is getting charged. A friend of mine tried to take a gun through security a few years ago (and it probably was just forgetfulness). She was not charged with a crime, but did have to pay a $7,500 fine. That’s a pretty good wake up call for a first offense. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7195 "2023-04-26T03:10:09Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Christ. How do you find the _time_? There are _a lot of_ people around this neck of the woods. Enough assholes to keep me constantly feeling stabby. And any hope for lessons being learned, well, not so much hereabouts. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7196 "2023-04-26T03:16:41Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Christ. How do you find the _time_? > > I guess, as is the case so often, it’s all about priorities Yep, you make time for the important stuff. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7197 "2023-04-26T03:20:27Z")
I mean, is there something wrong with me that I want one of these now? I could really use a new straw for smoothies. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7198 "2023-04-26T03:38:45Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > A friend of mine tried to take a gun through security a few years ago (and it probably was just forgetfulness). Apparently forgetfulness is getting contagious. > **[‘Very alarming’: US airport screenings see a surge in loaded guns](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/22/gun-planes-tsa-airport-screenings)** > > You can’t carry a bottle of water on board the plane, but plenty of people – knowingly and unknowingly – try to carry gun > [@](#): > > And that was just a fraction of the 18 guns confiscated every day on average from passengers traversing flight security across the US – a number that has been rising for years and is likely to continue doing so as firearms sales rise and more states make it easier to carry concealed weapons – even in airports. And that’s what they caught. > [@](#): > > In 2015, ABC News [revealed](https://abcnews.go.com/US/exclusive-undercover-dhs-tests-find-widespread-security-failures/story?id=31434881) that the TSA sent undercover investigators through airport checkpoints carrying real guns and fake bombs. Security officers only discovered three of the 70 smuggled items. > > The TSA’s director was sacked. The Department of Homeland Security promised reforms but two years later security agents were still failing to detect about 80% of weapons in tests because of a mix of inadequate equipment and human failings. So, it seems reasonable to extrapolate that for every gun caught, four guns end up on the flight. > [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > She was not charged with a crime, but did have to pay a $7,500 fine. That’s a pretty good wake up call for a first offense. She was just in the wrong state. > [@](#): > > Some cities and states press criminal charges, and the offending individual is marched out the airport in handcuffs. But it is not uncommon in gun-friendly parts of the country for a passenger to be allowed to put their weapon in their car and return to board their flight. I know a few responsible gun owners, and they know where their guns are at all times. I’ve seen people forget to pack their toothbrush, but I’ve never seen anyone forget they packed a gun. That would be a sign of an _irresponsible_ gun owner. And since this is about Stupid MFers in the news, I suppose I share some of them. > **[TSA stops a Tennessee man from boarding a flight with his loaded gun at...](https://wjla.com/news/local/airport-security-checkpoint-tsa-transportation-security-administration-handgun-caught-safety-concern-tennessee-man-fined-firearms-metropolitan-washington-airports-authority-police)** > > TSA officers stopped a Tennessee man from boarding a flight at Washington Dulles International Airport with his loaded handgun. > **[TSA agents find loaded gun in woman's purse at DCA](https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/tsa-loaded-gun-found-womans-purse-dca/65-bc5917e9-688f-4cdb-8974-f6c49a661f8b)** > > The .380 caliber gun was loaded with five bullets when it was found in the Spotsylvania woman's purse at a security checkpoint, TSA says. [https://www.travelpulse.com/News/Airlines-Airports/Man-Tries-To-Sneak-Gun-Past-Airport-Security-in-Gaming-Console](https://www.travelpulse.com/News/Airlines-Airports/Man-Tries-To-Sneak-Gun-Past-Airport-Security-in-Gaming-Console) I really hate it when I’m playing Call of Duty, and instead of the disk, I put my gun in the console, then forget where I left it. Anyway, at 18 a day, I don’t think I could keep up. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7199 "2023-04-26T03:46:38Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Apparently forgetfulness is getting contagious. Coming back to the States in 1982, I forgot to check my fairly-new Victorinox Champion knife. It was in my photo vest. I went through the screening at Gatwick, and the agent asked me to empty my pockets. There it was. I was mortified. He looked at it and said, ‘Nice knife,’ and sent me through. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7200 "2023-04-26T03:49:15Z")
Did London have tighter laws at the time? Airport security was pretty lax in the US in the 80’s. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7201 "2023-04-26T12:40:01Z")
That one MF’ing frozen strawberry that refused to yield to the blender is F’d now. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7202 "2023-04-26T13:15:35Z")
no, they are rather nice. a bit pricy, but nice. victory over juice boxes! ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7203 "2023-04-26T13:17:30Z")
I went on a backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon (post 9/11) and had to fly down for the trip. To make sure my backpack and supplies made it, I shipped them ahead of time via UPS. On the way back I was going to carry my backpack as my carry-on luggage. It wasn’t till I was in the air that I realized that in my backpack was pocket knife, matches, lighter, and pressurized fuel canister. 🤷 ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7204 "2023-04-26T13:21:52Z")
Sounds like a party. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7205 "2023-04-26T13:23:15Z")
All I needed was a loaded pistol and more than 3oz of booze, not neatly fit in a Ziploc baggie, and it would’ve been! ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7206 "2023-04-26T13:55:21Z")
Off topic, but appealing to my twisted sense of humor: the link above to the story of the Tennessee man who tried to bring a gun through security at Dulles has a link to another story about an Alabama man who was killed (and presumably eaten) by dogs; animal control agents had to trap and cage six dogs before his body could be recovered. Right below the story was an ad for ground beef. Seemed macabrely appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7207 "2023-04-26T13:57:06Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Airport security was pretty lax in the US in the 80’s. Dunno about the Eighties but I flew between DC & Houston a couple of times in the Nineties; security didn’t really mind the Swiss Army knife that I had in my carry-on. Those working the X-ray in DCA did pause a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7208 "2023-04-26T14:11:17Z")
In the halcyon days of 2000-early 2001, **Mrs Magill** was a traveling consultant. Caterpillar had put her up in an extended stay hotel in Peoria for about a year, and she would fly back and forth every week to our house in Raleigh. She got to know the retired old men who worked security in Peoria. Towards the end out her tour, she was slowly moving her stuff back home in her carry-on luggage. The security guys were puzzled by a strange shape on the x-ray scanner. They called her back to their side of the scanner and asked what it was. She offered to open her suitcase, so they could look at it, but they decided it was a comb (which she insisted she didn’t have). When she got home, she discovered it was a four inch paring knife. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7209 "2023-04-26T14:20:53Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Did London have tighter laws at the time? Airport security was pretty lax in the US in the 80’s. Less tight. I’m sure if I’d forgotten the knife was in my pocket in the U.S., it would have been confiscated. In London, the guy was like ‘OK.’ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2023, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/7210 "2023-04-26T14:25:39Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > an Alabama man who was killed (and presumably eaten) by dogs; animal control agents had to trap and cage six dogs before his body could be recovered. Decades ago there was a wealthy older woman in Philadelphia who had 15 or so dogs in her mansion. She was found dead when her relatives stopped to check on her. Detectives and the coroner determined she had fallen down the stairs and was still alive, but one or more dogs mauled her. An animal behaviorist was hired by the family. Cameras were set up and a mannequin wearing the old woman’s clothes was placed at the top of the stairs. The mannequin was rigged remotely and fell down the stairs. All the dogs ran away from the commotion except for one, that tore apart the mannequin. That dog was euthanized, the rest re-homed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=359) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=361)