# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2021, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/785 "2021-06-08T22:40:43Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > “It’s not specifically against the rules, therefore it’s A-OK!” This is a pretty amateurish effort. Baffert needs to up his game - he should study the history of far more creative excuses proffered by doped-up cyclists, _shocked_ that their reputation should be tarnished by unjust allegations. There is general agreement that the apotheosis of preposterous excuses was Tyler Hamilton explaining the presence of somebody else’s blood in his veins through chimerism, “vanishing twin” syndrome. [Pro cyclists' best/worst excuses for failing a dope test | Cycling Weekly](https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/pro-cyclists-best-excuses-for-failing-a-dope-test-150145) ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2021, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/786 "2021-06-08T23:15:56Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > The Corona vaccine turns people into magnets. Millions of people are being pulled directly toward the center of the Earth, which we all know is made of iron. How else do you explain that? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2021, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/787 "2021-06-08T23:28:01Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > The Corona vaccine turns people into magnets. I can stick a playing card to my forehead. Therefore, all playing cards are metal, due to the magnetic Moderna vaccine running through my blood causing that card to stick… I will say that I am very grateful to that woman for showing everyone what is behind resistance to the vaccine. Completely and total fucking lunacy. The way she speaks reminds me of the Ancient Aliens people that my wife puts on TV at night. (She doesn’t believe any of that bullshit, luckily, she just claims it helps her sleep for some reason.) ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2021, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/788 "2021-06-08T23:46:22Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Millions of people are being pulled directly toward the center of the Earth, which we all know is made of iron. How else do you explain that? That explains my weight gain! It’s not all the junk food and lack of exercise… It’s the damn vaccine! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/789 "2021-06-09T00:29:55Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > …reminds me of the Ancient Aliens people that my wife puts on TV at night. (She doesn’t believe any of that bullshit, luckily, she just claims it helps her sleep for some reason.) Might be the same rationale that has me trying to sleep by listening to a boring audiobook (read by a relaxed literate Brit… indubitably). Along about midnight my brain realizes “Whoa, this is dullsville, let’s just go to sleep. Maybe there’s a good dream on tonight.” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/790 "2021-06-09T00:55:41Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > the COVID-19 vaccine magnetizes people “Do you still believe there can be peace with these people, Xavier…?” ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/791 "2021-06-09T01:16:43Z")
By the way I have dibs on the Magnetic Vaccine band name. ---
**Author:** ![bobsmom101](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobsmom101/32/2867_2.png) [@bobsmom101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobsmom101)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/792 "2021-06-09T02:08:06Z")
But — doesn’t that mean you’re a superhero? Kinda cool, I don’t understand why they all aren’t getting the shot. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/793 "2021-06-09T02:14:31Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > This is a pretty amateurish effort. Baffert needs to up his game - he should study the history of far more creative excuses… “There’s a lot pressure from race officials, the media, and sponsors; that’s very difficult for a three-year-old to resist. I can’t keep an eye on Medina Spirit 24/7. If these drugs are available, the athletes will find a way to get them” ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/794 "2021-06-10T14:24:16Z")
> **[Man stuck for days inside giant fan at California vineyard](https://news.yahoo.com/man-stuck-days-inside-giant-172857464.html)** > > Authorities rescued a man who said he had been trapped for two days inside a large fan at a Northern California vineyard. The man was discovered Tuesday by a deputy responding to a call about a suspicious vehicle parked near the winery in Santa... It’s not a dinosaur. I’ll give him that. **That** would be _really_ stupid. > Authorities rescued a man who said he had been trapped for two days inside a large fan at a Northern California vineyard. > “The man indicated he liked to take pictures of the engines of old farm equipment,” the statement said. “After a thorough investigation, which revealed the farm equipment wasn’t antique and the man had far more methamphetamine than camera equipment, the motivation to climb into the fan shaft remains a total mystery.” Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/795 "2021-06-10T15:18:30Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > “The man indicated he liked to take pictures of the engines of old farm equipment,” I do, too. I hope no one thinks I’m a meth head. Damn those people - always ruining it for the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/796 "2021-06-10T17:21:30Z")
If you want to take pictures of old farm equipment, you probably want to make sure the farm equipment is old and that you have a camera with you. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/797 "2021-06-10T22:25:41Z")
Shots fired at Mammoth Cave National Park after a Bigfoot sighting. > **[Shots fired at national park after alleged Bigfoot sighting](https://www.wrbl.com/news/shots-fired-at-national-park-after-alleged-bigfoot-sighting/)** > > Federal officials are investigating an incident involving at least one gunshot fired over the weekend at Mammoth Cave National Park that was prompted by an alleged sighting of Bigfoot. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/798 "2021-06-10T22:54:43Z")
Kentucky is Bigfoot country? And I’m amused by the idea that he thought there might be a cryptid out there, so the right thing to do is to shoot it. It’s a wonder that any of the aliens that visit Earth regularly haven’t been shot. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/799 "2021-06-10T23:54:59Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Kentucky is Bigfoot country? Yup, and they’re devious. They leave the exact same tracks as black bears to fool people. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/800 "2021-06-11T00:59:53Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > the man had far more methamphetamine than camera equipment That’s a really good line. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/801 "2021-06-11T01:02:28Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > [Man stuck for days inside giant fan at California vineyard](https://news.yahoo.com/man-stuck-days-inside-giant-172857464.html) > > It’s not a dinosaur. I’ll give him that. **That** would be _really_ stupid. > > > Authorities rescued a man who said he had been trapped for two days inside a large fan at a Northern California vineyard. > > Nice. - At least he kept his cool. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/802 "2021-06-11T01:07:01Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Shots fired at Mammoth Cave National Park after a Bigfoot sighting. I haven’t read the article but I am concerned that Bigfeet are going around armed now. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/803 "2021-06-11T01:53:06Z")
If you had to traipse around naked in the woods 24/7 among rural Americans wouldn’t you want to be armed so you can return the inevitable fire? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/804 "2021-06-11T03:44:24Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Shots fired at Mammoth Cave National Park after a Bigfoot sighting. Has @Beckdawrek been traveling again? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=39) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=41)