# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 450
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8991 "2023-10-03T13:11:34Z")
Also, please don’t kidnap little girls. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8992 "2023-10-03T13:15:26Z")
Now that’s just crazy talk. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8993 "2023-10-03T13:20:40Z")
I’m glad they found her. That story, how she decided to take one last ride around the park by herself after her friends left, broke me. Friggin’ nightmare fodder. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8994 "2023-10-03T13:24:17Z")
Nightmare stuff. My daughter got lost for a couple of hours when we went camping. The camp manager was just about to call out the troops when someone found her. Needless to say, the camping trip was over. I’m so very happy they found this little girl safe. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8995 "2023-10-03T13:42:12Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Remember to sign it too. Signed, Epstein’s Mother. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8996 "2023-10-03T18:15:41Z")
Epstein’s mother kidnapped a little girl!? Dang, the sweathogs came from a lot rougher background than I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8997 "2023-10-03T18:19:02Z")
The ransom note is a weird twist. I would have thought nobody does that anymore, especially to random people off the street (as opposed to, say, an oil magnate’s daughter.) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8998 "2023-10-03T18:34:24Z")
> [@Steve\_McQwark](#): > > Epstein’s mother kidnapped a little girl!? I was always under the impression that Epstein’s mother never actually signed anything that was signed by Epstein’s mother. (That was the joke.) But Brooklyn was probably a bit rough in the 70s I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2023, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/8999 "2023-10-03T18:53:29Z")
The standard joke is, I believe, the note to the teacher that says, “Please excuse Johnny. He’s sick today. (signed) My mother.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9000 "2023-10-04T02:14:02Z")
Walmart customer gets dragged the fuck out. > **[Walmart customer accused of theft punched a cop in the face](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12588943/amp/Walmart-customer-motorized-scooter-huge-meltdown-punches-cop-FACE-accused-stealing.html)** > > An unidentified woman in a motorized scoter was accused of stealing at a Walmart just before she punched a cop in the face as a recent video was shared. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9001 "2023-10-04T02:50:27Z")
The latest from the antivax crowd is that the nationwide test of the EAS tomorrow will somehow “activate” the Ebola virus that was injected into everyone who got a covid vaccine and they will turn into zombies. > ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9002 "2023-10-04T03:02:34Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Walmart customer gets dragged the fuck out. I’m fairly confident that wasn’t a cop, but rather was a loss prevention officer. Then again in the UK they might not be familiar with such things. They had no info about the people and had no idea where the Walmart might be located. The article was basically, “Hey there is a crazy video on the internet.” ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9003 "2023-10-04T04:29:25Z")
Nitpick: Marburg virus is similar to but not the same as Ebola. It’s still a dumb conspiracy theory. Carry on. Actually, I’m surprised these nimrods even know about Marburg. I’m mildly bemused at the same time I’m shaking my head. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9004 "2023-10-04T06:26:02Z")
> [@duality72](#): > > It’s still a dumb conspiracy theory. Not only is it a dumb conspiracy theory, it’s literally a plot point from Deus Ex: Human Revolution, with “covid vaccine” swapped in for “neural implant firmware upgrade”. > **[Aug Incident](https://deusex.fandom.com/wiki/Aug_Incident)** > > The Aug Incident of 2027 refers to a catastrophic event during which augmented people across the globe are driven to psychotic acts of violence. Hugh Darrow's broadcast of a biochip signal from Panchaea causes augmented people outfitted with the... I’m starting to think that the self-proclaimed moral crusaders of my childhood were right about video games giving people a skewed and unrealistic understanding of reality. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9005 "2023-10-04T13:56:38Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > “Hey there is a crazy video on the internet.” Was. [The original Reddit post disappeared…](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/16z3dxn/walmart_customer_on_a_motorized_scooter_has_a/) ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9006 "2023-10-04T14:58:13Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > The latest from the antivax crowd is that the nationwide test of the EAS tomorrow will somehow “activate” the Ebola virus that was injected into everyone who got a covid vaccine and they will turn into zombies. > > [x.com](https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1709392403466010765) Sounds like a great way to get yourself shot by an equal but opposite asshole! Another moron-prankster-on-armed-moron incident. Dan ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9007 "2023-10-04T15:01:34Z")
How many of these people will admit they were idiots when it doesn’t happen? The over\under is 5. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9008 "2023-10-04T15:20:24Z")
Because they carefully say “some of them” will turn into zombies. It won’t be anyone you know, but two towns over I heard about this one guy who got sick that afternoon and died and then his body disappeared! Lock yo’ doors! It must be true. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9009 "2023-10-04T15:39:19Z")
Meanwhile, we’re just bracing ourselves for the domestic violence fallout. It’s easy enough to communicate to clients that they need to turn their secret phones off, but there are so many people not receiving services who may be in for a bad surprise. I don’t understand people who deal in lies when these things have real effects on people. Instead they focus on problems invented out of whole cloth. They are completely wasting their potential to do good in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2023, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9010 "2023-10-04T15:43:28Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Meanwhile, we’re just bracing ourselves for the domestic violence fallout. It’s easy enough to communicate to clients that they need to turn their secret phones off, but there are so many people not receiving services who may be in for a bad surprise. Important note on this front-I’ve heard that they’re advising domestic violence victims who are still with their abuser to turn off any hidden phones they might have as a just-in-case measure so that the alert doesn’t tip off their abuser about the device. > **[Wednesday's emergency alert may be annoying to some. For abuse victims, it...](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/10/03/emergency-alert-wednesday-domestic-violence-victims-danger/71046701007/)** > > Those at-risk of domestic abuse often turn off alerts on hidden cellphones. But Wednesday's emergency test can't be muted. Here's what you can do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=449) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=451)