# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 464
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9271 "2023-11-09T19:32:03Z")
Considering the relative shortage of hitmen-for-hire vs. the vast number of people who oughta be killed, supply vs demand suggests that the $1K is the merest hint of a down payment on the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![tofor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tofor/32/13727_2.png) [@tofor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofor)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9272 "2023-11-09T19:46:36Z")
> In his telling, he was not conspiring to commit murder when he paid Ms. Magbanua about $100,000 and then hired her for a no-show job at the family’s dental practice for $3,000 a month. Instead, he testified, he was the victim of an extortion plot by Mr. Markel’s killers. So apparently $100k+ is the going rate > **[Florida Dentist Convicted in Murder-for-Hire Plot Against Law Professor](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/06/us/charles-adelson-dan-markel-murder-conviction.html)** > > A jury in Tallahassee found Charles Adelson guilty of murder and conspiracy in the 2014 death of his former brother-in-law, Dan Markel. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9273 "2023-11-09T20:35:34Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Considering the relative shortage of hitmen-for-hire vs. the vast number of people who oughta be killed, supply vs demand suggests that the $1K is the merest hint of a down payment on the real thing If the hitman manages to keep records identifying you and what you asked for, I suspect it’s going to be everything in your bank account and everything you earn for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9274 "2023-11-09T20:52:15Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Considering the relative shortage of hitmen-for-hire vs. the vast number of people who oughta be killed, supply vs demand suggests that the $1K is the merest hint of a down payment on the real thing. Yabbut…hitmen are more unreliable than building contractors. And they’re not bonded, so how can you even begin to trust them? Can’t go by the Yelp reviews. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9275 "2023-11-09T20:56:39Z")
Well, maybe that’s a promising market niche, a rating site for online hitmen. Everything’s anonymous and confidential, of course… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9276 "2023-11-09T21:19:07Z")
Angie’s Hit List! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9277 "2023-11-09T21:30:07Z")
Which is also the solution to @thorny_locust’s completely reasonable concerns about blackmail from the hit man. > **Big Vito** gets zero shivs. He’s been blackmailing me constantly since the hit. Would not recommend. Any hitman wanting repeat business, or any business at all, really needs to keep their Angie’s hit list history up around 4-1/2 shivs minimum. 🗡 🗡 🗡 🗡 ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9278 "2023-11-09T21:53:04Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Angie’s Hit List! Big Angie’s List. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9279 "2023-11-09T22:15:27Z")
Not exactly a stupid motherfucker, but someone asked me why we have not heard anyone say, “Israel is attacking Gaza with rockets and white phosphorus and other conventional weapons. Why are they doing that? Why don’t they just use the Jewish Space Laser?” ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9280 "2023-11-09T22:23:22Z")
It probably isn’t exactly stupidity, because I suspect they also won’t take the fact that Israel isn’t doing so as proof that there ain’t any such thing. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9281 "2023-11-09T22:24:08Z")
With Hamas getting ready to fly across the border from Mexico in paragliders\*, taxpayers want to know why Trump foolishly invested in a wall rather than a Jewish Space Laser program for the US. \*I can’t find who said this, but I think it was someone in Congress ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9282 "2023-11-09T22:26:37Z")
Maybe Jared Moskowitz? He’s very snarky on twitter. I just love him. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9283 "2023-11-09T22:50:18Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > With Hamas It’s “Hummus”, please, at least according to the supporters of my Idiot Congressman. Hummus, coming across the boarders. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9284 "2023-11-09T22:57:45Z")
Ooh, nice, will I be able to buy it at the taco truck at every corner? ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9285 "2023-11-09T23:23:50Z")
Of course not. You get it from the falafel truck across the street. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9286 "2023-11-10T00:38:58Z")
But if there’s a taco truck on every corner, and a falafel truck across the street (meaning on the same corner as the taco truck across the street), the two would try to occupy the same physical location … resulting in a space/time collision that would destroy the planet. So THAT’S the Demonrats’ fiendish plan! You broke the code! ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2023, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9287 "2023-11-10T00:54:53Z")
Maybe the falafel trucks are in the middle of the block? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2023, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9288 "2023-11-10T01:01:24Z")
_Hummuzilla vs Refritor_ ? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2023, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9289 "2023-11-10T01:10:24Z")
There is an storefront eatery near me which has Indian food (curries, masalas, tandoori stuff, etc.) served taco-style in tortillas, not naan. That’s not quite the same as when a falafel truck superposes in the spacetime continuum with a taco truck, but it’s close. It’s also darn good. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2023, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9290 "2023-11-10T01:18:58Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Hummus, coming across the boarders. I found this on a terrorist site, showing how to make a deadly biological weapon. [![](https://i.gifer.com/origin/6e/6e528157e6aef607eb0920887b506d02_w200.webp) ](https://i.gifer.com/origin/6e/6e528157e6aef607eb0920887b506d02_w200.webp) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=463) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=465)