# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 476
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9511 "2023-11-23T17:56:41Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > The suck at shoveling snow šŸ˜‰ Youā€™d think theyā€™d be naturals with those shovels growing out of their heads. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9512 "2023-11-23T18:15:06Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > This isnā€™t a career ender but itā€™s going to make him unpopular for a while. Well, Iā€™m certainly never going to watch him. And I think his attempt to distance himself from having a mostly female fan base is actually grosser than the joke. ā€œI donā€™t pander to women.ā€ WTF ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9513 "2023-11-23T18:20:14Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > They are quite smart, many cars have a door handle that you just pull on. They just swipe at it until it opens. I have the scratches on my car that show that. The advice is to NOT lock your car, they will just pull the handle off. We were at a ranger station in the Sierra Nevadas decades ago, and they had a corkboard covered with Polaroids of cars peeled open ā€“ literally ā€“ by bears who had seen coolers inside. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9514 "2023-11-23T18:56:37Z")
When I was in my twenties, and was about to leave on a trip around the country during much of which I intended to sleep in a tent, there was a friend of my parents who was very much a city person and who was very concerned about this. City Person: Will the tent keep bugs out? Me: Yes, the tent will keep bugs out. CP: Will the tent keep snakes out? Me: Yes, the tent will keep snakes out. CP: Will the tent keep bears out? Me: . . . No, the tent will not keep bears out. But you live in (1970ā€™s) Manhattan! (Yes, I slept in the tent. No, I did not get eaten, or even threatened, by bears. City Person did not get mugged, let alone murdered. We both survived our choice of dangers nicely; though CPā€™s been gone for a while now, of natural causes.) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9515 "2023-11-23T19:06:23Z")
That happened to a buddy of mine. He and a friend went climbing in Yosemite. Friend slipped, Mike caught him but really tore up his shoulder. They get back to the van and discover that a bear had ripped the back lift door (old VW microbus) off the hinges to get at the cooler in the back. They get Mike doped up (firefighters get all sorts of good drugs for their emergency kits) and head back home, only to hit a deer on the way. Was epic. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9516 "2023-11-23T19:08:47Z")
Did you hit the deer or did the firefighters? Iā€™m assuming it was you since it sounds perfect for an ā€œepicā€ trip. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9517 "2023-11-23T19:11:13Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Iā€™m fine with that. On the other hand, though, I was just sitting there minding my own business; the skunk was being a jerk. Possums agreed with you. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/G_tL5R8lIL0/maxresdefault.jpg "Opossum pushes Skunk in Pond | 2020 Video Contest - Betsy Potter, New York") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_tL5R8lIL0) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9518 "2023-11-23T19:12:45Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > No, I did not get eaten, or even threatened, by bears. When I was a little girl I went up North to visit some family friends, and there was another little girl there and we decided we wanted to camp out in the back yard. So we set up a tent and brought out our sleeping bags and tried to rough itā€¦ I donā€™t remember why we gave up and came inside, guess it was too cold. We left the tent where it was standing. A bear did indeed come that night and got into the tent. He knocked the whole thing over. I can only imagine what would have happened if we were in it. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9519 "2023-11-23T19:18:05Z")
Oh, it can happen. Just like you could get mugged while doing errands in a city. But even in bear country, bears donā€™t injure or kill humans very often. And even in cities, most people donā€™t get mugged whenever they step out the door. (Did you have any food in that tent? I was careful about that.) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9520 "2023-11-23T19:22:35Z")
I canā€™t remember, but probably not. I remember the owners of the house were extremely used to bears, so it seems unlikely they would have let two kids eat food in a tent in the middle of bear country. Bear attacks may be rare, but when they do happen theyā€™re so horrible itā€™s hard not to be afraid of bears anyway. (Iā€™m also afraid of dogs.) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9521 "2023-11-23T19:45:18Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > > Iā€™m fine with that. On the other hand, though, I was just sitting there minding my own business; the skunk was being a jerk. > > Possums agreed with you. - > > [https://youtu.be/G\_tL5R8lIL0?si=Vs7N6qfVll9--6Ol](https://youtu.be/G_tL5R8lIL0?si=Vs7N6qfVll9--6Ol) I love how deliberately assholish that was on the part of the 'possum. ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9522 "2023-11-23T20:09:25Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > It was a simple rail fence. The skunk was in front of me, but I swung my legs over and climbed down the far side so as not to antagonize the little asshole. Just to be pedantic, it isnā€™t the little asshole you need to be worried, but itā€™s close. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2023, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9523 "2023-11-23T20:29:44Z")
> [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > > It was a simple rail fence. The skunk was in front of me, but I swung my legs over and climbed down the far side so as not to antagonize the little asshole. > > Just to be pedantic, it isnā€™t the little asshole you need to be worried, but itā€™s close. - Yeah, you donā€™t want a skunk to give you the stinkeye. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2023, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9524 "2023-11-24T01:18:21Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > We were at a ranger station in the Sierra Nevadas decades ago, and they had a corkboard covered with Polaroids of cars peeled open ā€“ literally ā€“ by bears who had seen coolers inside. Back in the 70s, rangers in Yosemite told us that grizzlies loved the big luxury cars with no B-pillar that were so popular (Cadillac deVille, Ford LTD, ā€¦). Theyā€™d punch in the back window, move their paw over slightly to pull out the front window, and then have easy access to whatever people were stupid enough to ā€œlockā€ in their car. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2023, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9525 "2023-11-24T19:05:37Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > > Iā€™m fine with that. On the other hand, though, I was just sitting there minding my own business; the skunk was being a jerk. > > Possums agreed with you. > > [https://youtu.be/G\_tL5R8lIL0?si=Vs7N6qfVll9--6Ol](https://youtu.be/G_tL5R8lIL0?si=Vs7N6qfVll9--6Ol) I just showed that to four other people (separately), and every one of us said spontaneously, ā€œWhat a little jerk!ā€ But about the possum, not the skunk. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2023, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9526 "2023-11-24T19:15:42Z")
No doubt the possum was being an asshole, but tbere was no question about its attitude towards skunks. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2023, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9527 "2023-11-25T06:14:56Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > Youā€™d think theyā€™d be naturals with those shovels growing out of their heads. Ironically, the time the snow comes in is about the same time those shovels fall off their heads. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2023, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9528 "2023-11-27T04:50:09Z")
> **['Beautifully written' California license plate on stolen car leads to woman's...](https://www.yahoo.com/news/beautifully-written-california-license-plate-204921821.html/)** > > 38-year-old Angel Bolton was arrested by police after she was caught with a "beautifully written" license plate she allegedly forged onto a reported stolen car. > A[California](https://www.foxla.com/tag/us/ca)woman was arrested after she was caught with a handwritten, fake license plate on the back of a suspected stolen carā€¦ > > To make things worse, the counterfeit plateā€™s tags were expired, reading ā€œJAN 2023ā€ where a real registration sticker would be. > > ā€œPro tip: At least make the ā€œregistrationā€ current,ā€ the Benicia PD joked. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2023, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9529 "2023-11-27T07:54:15Z")
Thatā€™s why you just cover it with Psychic Paper. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2023, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/9530 "2023-11-28T05:25:29Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > ['Beautifully written' California license plate on stolen car leads to woman's arrest](https://www.yahoo.com/news/beautifully-written-california-license-plate-204921821.html/) Holy cow, that fake tag looked like it was written in crayon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=475) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=477)