# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2021, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945 "2021-01-31T21:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 80
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2021, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1590 "2021-10-26T16:57:40Z")
Reminds me of a recent report from our local police department: [quote=Local Po-po] Good morning Nolensville, Under the heading of “you never know what you will see”… Wednesday morning there was a 3 car crash on Nolensville Rd. near Summerlyn Drive. While collecting information, directing traffic and attending to everyone we have a fellow drive up, leave his car in the middle of the road and take off walking. He is having a medical emergency from an overdose of an illegal substance. EMS and Fire are on the scene to attend to him as well. The fellow is transported to the nearest hospital. While NPD officers are getting his car out of the road we discover it is, “Not His Car”. The car is reported as stolen from Smyrna. Charges are placed against the individual and arrangements were made for us to be notified upon his release from the hospital, except we were not notified. So our fellow walks from the hospital when he is all better, but he didn’t get far. Our fellow uses his new lease on life to go promptly to a business across the street from the hospital and again draws the attention of the local constabulary. This time he is arrested for shoplifting. During the investigation of the shoplifting incident the police in that city find out we have outstanding charges from earlier Wednesday morning. He was transported to the Williamson County Jail. And now for the rest of the story… This was the 2nd time the victim had the same car stolen. Both times they had left the keys in the car. “LOCK IT & POCKET YOUR KEYS!” We know this was long but what else did you have to do. You are on FB.[/quote] ---
**Author:** ![Ranch\_Dip](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranch_dip/32/5238_2.png) [@Ranch\_Dip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranch_Dip)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2021, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1591 "2021-10-26T19:04:50Z")
> [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > may be remembering that they swore to defend and protect their Constitution of the United States. from enemies Foreign and DOMESTIC. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2021, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1592 "2021-10-26T22:05:46Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > From his company’s [**website**](https://www.virtika.com/david-lesh/): You left out under the skills section, _Pouring Milk on Bouncing Boobs_ set, naturally, at 100%. Sure makes me wanna buy his shit. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2021, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1593 "2021-10-26T22:09:12Z")
I’m just a tad bit lactose intolerant. I couldn’t go there 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1594 "2021-10-27T14:11:22Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > You left out under the skills section, _Pouring Milk on Bouncing Boobs_ set, naturally, at 100%. Wouldn’t it just bounce off? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1595 "2021-10-27T14:42:22Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > > [@DesertDog](#): > > > > You left out under the skills section, _Pouring Milk on Bouncing Boobs_ set, naturally, at 100%. > > Wouldn’t it just bounce off? I get the feeling that “milk” here is a euphemism for some other viscous white substance. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1596 "2021-10-27T18:07:18Z")
Woman annoyed by rope hanging in front of her 21st story window cuts it, stranding painters at a higher floor > **[Woman who cut rope reports to police on attempted murder charge](https://www.bangkokpost.com/thailand/general/2205107)** > > A woman facing an attempted murder charge after cutting a rope used by two painters on the exterior of a condominium reported to police on Wednesday and denied the allegations. > The incident took place around noon on Oct 12. While the two repairmen, one of them a Myanmar national known only as Song, were lowering the rope from the 32nd floor of the condo to fix a crack, they saw the rope was cut by a woman living on the 21st storey, making it impossible for them to descend by themselves. > > One of the workers signalled for help and Prapawan Satasing, who lived on the 26th floor, let them land on her balcony. The workers then went downstairs to report the incident to the condo administration. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1597 "2021-10-27T18:16:25Z")
from the creating new prospective clients file, [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-drug-rehab-clinic-owner-charged-with-selling-fentanyl/ar-AAPYVhE](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-drug-rehab-clinic-owner-charged-with-selling-fentanyl/ar-AAPYVhE) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1598 "2021-10-27T18:55:42Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Woman annoyed by rope hanging in front of her 21st story window cuts it, stranding painters at a higher floor Later that day she was annoyed by a ladder in a hallway and knocked it over to get it out of her way. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2021, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1599 "2021-10-27T21:05:53Z")
Then she screamed at a grocery clerk and threatened their job for their idiocy and incompetence when the store was out of her favorite shampoo. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2021, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1600 "2021-10-30T23:51:53Z")
~~Man~~ toddler [lays down on floor](https://twitter.com/rscook/status/1454498077104951296?s=20) when store asks him to wear a mask (twitter video). ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2021, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1601 "2021-10-31T00:28:24Z")
Hadn’t seen that one yet. It’s about a year old. Here’s a slightly longer version: [US man throws himself to supermarket floor in bizarre tantrum when asked to wear face mask - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AbpcNQw-PE) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2021, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1602 "2021-10-31T16:36:06Z")
Austin Compounding Pharmacy [has an order form](http://austincompoundingpharmacy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/9.10.21-Covid-order-PATIENT-RX.pdf) for several of the quack cure/treatments for COVID and delightful advice on how to not get sick and die. A _fucking pharmacy_. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2021, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1603 "2021-11-02T19:34:21Z")
Teacher of the Year arrested for assaulting a student who had criticized her for winning the Teacher of the Year award. > **[Florida teacher charged with child abuse days after being named ‘Teacher of...](https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-teacher-charged-with-child-abuse-days-after-being-named-teacher-of-the-year/)** > > Lee was arrested after calling a student into her classroom to speak privately and allegedly striking the female student on the face. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2021, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1604 "2021-11-02T22:11:30Z")
Maybe she slapped people into giving her the award in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1605 "2021-11-03T04:25:40Z")
{{🙂}} ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1606 "2021-11-03T11:50:45Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Teacher of the Year arrested for assaulting a student who had criticized her for winning the Teacher of the Year award. Unbelievable! It’s not a Florida man story. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1607 "2021-11-03T23:36:37Z")
Aaron Rodgers has tested positive for covid, after telling the Packers he had been vaccinated (well, at least, he implied that he had been vaccinated). > **[Aaron Rodgers lied about his vaccination status and the Packers are paying...](https://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2021/11/3/22761472/aaron-rodgers-covid-chiefs-vaccination-status)** > > Rodgers is out against the Chiefs, and it could be longer. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2021, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1608 "2021-11-04T00:48:27Z")
My 94 yr old Cheesehead mother, who adores Aaron, said “What a jerk.” I replied “His brain’s been softened by dating celebrities.” My immediate Packers line was: “So the Packers will be playing without their QB… against the Chiefs, whose QB hasn’t shown up to most of their games either.” I WAS a lifelong Packer fan until today. The coach and the entire team should’ve been on his case if indeed he had gotten some sketchy homeopathic “immunization”. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2021, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945/1609 "2021-11-04T01:26:08Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I replied “His brain’s been softened by dating celebrities.” Huh. Nothing to do with the 481 career sacks? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=79) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-1/931945.md?page=81)