# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 114
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2261 "2024-08-14T20:04:26Z")
I always imagine how Frank Parnell must have reacted when he saw it. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2262 "2024-08-14T20:23:51Z")
For a linguistics class, we were supposed to make up a word and write the dictionary definition of it. I wrote about the **shrdlu** , a rare type of Purple Mongolian Snub-Nosed Wombat. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2263 "2024-08-14T21:26:20Z")
> [@Kron](#): > > What the hell is the story behind that? > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > I’ve never seen any explanation of how it ended up so mangled. What are we supposed to be seeing? ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2264 "2024-08-14T21:29:39Z")
Read the text on that… Very surreal. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2265 "2024-08-14T21:32:52Z")
It makes my eyes hurt. But I got the gist by the third paragraph. Spoiler for people who don’t want to strain their eyes: The article has made-up words that have no meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2024, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2266 "2024-08-14T21:57:06Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > The article has made-up words that have no meaning. More accurately, it takes segments of words that belong in the article and repeats them over and over. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2267 "2024-08-15T00:14:14Z")
I would not it be surprised to learn that newspaper has 1 fulltime employee plus the owner. And both are drunks with day jobs at Denny’s or 7-11. Professionalism is an unrealistic expectation where 2024 small-town journalism is concerned. That’s a damned shame that may well kill Democracy as we know it. But I think that is the situation, lamentable as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2268 "2024-08-15T01:53:13Z")
If you mean the article with the extreme misprint (and not the guy writing articles with AI) that was from April 18th, 1980: > **[Odd this day](https://mulberryhall.medium.com/odd-this-day-53acb70d9c50)** > > If it’s 18 April, it must be time to do two things. Firstly: to wish this headline a very happy 10th birthday: (Also, I see in the Youtube comments to [a dramatic reading of the article](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BrWaSXT2Cwg) there is a guy claiming to be the reporter who wrote the article. No explanation for the errors, though.) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2269 "2024-08-15T02:50:38Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > > [@Joey\_P](#): > > > > Tow truck in San Francisco [tried to grab a car while it was at a red light with occupants](https://i.imgur.com/qc78qeX.mp4). > > Extra credit because the company name was ‘Specialty Towing’ Ummm… yeah, no argument there. Update. The company(and owners) has been charged with defrauding an insurance company. Stealing legally parked cars to extort fees, business practices that lead SF to bar them from city contracts, an attempt to tow an occupied vehicle in traffic(that has no repossession order against it) isn’t enough to get the company shut down but try to defraud insurance and hellfire rains down. (Except for the fact that all the past history might only bar the company for 5 years. > **[San Francisco tow company operator charged with insurance fraud and money...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRoE9gg4Lh4%2F)** > > A San Francisco tow company operator and a co-defendant are accused of money laundering, along with mail, wire and insurance fraud, according to the United S... > **[FBI raids San Francisco tow company with history of illegal towing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxMA2vaWEuI%2F)** > > The FBI on Thursday raided San Francisco's Specialty Towing as its owners who are facing money launder and fraud charges. https://abc7ne.ws/3T5oqtx#towing #s... ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2270 "2024-08-15T03:06:19Z")
[Lincoln towing says “Hold my crowbar and watch this!”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Towing_Service?wprov=sfla1) Until they write a song about you, you’ll always be second best. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/dF3q7o8Yjrg/maxresdefault.jpg "Lincoln Park Pirates") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF3q7o8Yjrg) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2271 "2024-08-15T14:18:17Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Professionalism is an unrealistic expectation where 2024 small-town journalism is concerned. That’s a damned shame that may well kill Democracy as we know it. But I think that is the situation, lamentable as it is. I’m not sure that small-town news outlets were way more professional in the good old days. Seems to me that the key to survival in the vast majority of cases was to feature “happy news” events, get the locals’ names in the paper as often as possible and not print anything that would offend advertisers. I was just reading about a success story in which a small town’s newspaper was set to close after many years. A local resident managed to buy the paper and keep it going. She explicitly said that her focus was on printing “good news” and highlighting things like people’s birthdays, church events and the like. Which is nice, but not exactly investigative journalism.\* \*speaking of which, one of the biggest newspapers in Kentucky, the Lexington Herald-Leader, recently put out a plea begging for donations (not subscriptions) so that it could hire a reporter to do investigative journalism. They currently have far more coverage of bourbon promotions than any investigative reports. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2272 "2024-08-15T14:32:25Z")
Note to self: Read less news about Trump, more about bourbon promotions. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2273 "2024-08-15T14:51:25Z")
Either stuff you read, it’s probably going to make you want to drink more. So your mind may be happier with one over the other, but your liver is gonna be pissed at you either way. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2274 "2024-08-15T15:01:29Z")
This woman stole food from low income school children during the COVID crisis, and this football player thinks the right thing to do is try to pay to set her free? Besides things not working like that, why would a person think this is a good thing? > **[Kansas City Chiefs player offers to cover $1.5M in stolen chicken wings to...](https://www.yahoo.com/news/kansas-city-chiefs-player-offers-130842906.html)** > > Chiefs player Chris Jones has offered to cover $1.5 million worth of chicken wings in order to free the former food service employee who stole them. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2275 "2024-08-15T15:39:38Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Besides things not working like that, why would a person think this is a good thing? I think he did it so people could say, “Aww, what a nice guy.” As long as they didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2276 "2024-08-15T15:54:07Z")
I think he maybe didn’t spend much time thinking about it either. Hopefully! Or he been hit in the head too much. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2024, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2277 "2024-08-15T20:15:00Z")
That’s a blast from the past. I haven’t heard that song in years. Thanks to Dr. Dimento for introducing me to it. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2024, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2278 "2024-08-16T01:56:04Z")
Tough guy CEO attacks fairly scrawny 15-year-old for accidentally sprinkling water on his wife. > **[CEO charged after throwing teen on the floor of In-N-Out Burger for...](https://nypost.com/2024/08/14/us-news/ceo-charged-for-tossing-teen-on-the-floor-of-in-n-out-burger-cops/)** > > Lucas Kalisher, 55, was at an In-N-Out in Loveland on Aug. 4 when he got into a tiff with a teen, cops said. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2024, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2279 "2024-08-16T02:27:16Z")
Hopefully he can find a good Strangulation Attorney. > **[Colorado Springs Strangulation Lawyers](https://www.thebusseylawfirm.com/colorado-springs-strangulation-lawyers/)** > > If you were arrested for a serious violent criminal charge, let our Colorado Springs Strangulation Lawyers work to get your record clean. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2024, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2280 "2024-08-16T02:37:01Z")
Even strangulators deserve legal representation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=113) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=115)