# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 118
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2341 "2024-08-21T18:29:22Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > But pretty cat! Anyone whose owned a cat should know they’re furry little murderbots. Our cats like to sit at the sliding glass door, open but with the screen in place, and watch the chipmunks get seed from the deck. They’ll spend hours there just watching the little buggers go back and forth. My wife got them harnesses and took them out on the deck. Seems the chipmunks have gotten used to the cats being around when they eat, so one goes right up to the cat. You know where this is going. Thankfully the cat didn’t quite get the chance to murder Chippy (all chipmunks are named Chippy) but you know damn well she wanted to. They’re literally sitting there for hours watching creatures running around on the deck **and they want to KILL ALL OF THEM**. Their favorite pastime is dreaming about murdering things smaller than they are. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2342 "2024-08-21T18:41:32Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Their favorite pastime is dreaming about murdering things smaller than they are. I don’t think you needed the modifier at the end of this sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2343 "2024-08-21T19:10:19Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Anyone whose owned a cat should know they’re furry little murderbots. > **[The murderous creature you live with is a murderous creature, a study confirms](https://www.npr.org/2023/12/12/1218895581/cats-research-study-environment)** > > More scientific evidence has surfaced to show that while Mittens may be your sweet angel, letting her roam outside is also a big threat to biodiversity. Or more amusingly: > **[How much do cats actually kill? \[Infographic\] - The Oatmeal](https://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_actually_kill)** > > An infographic about how much murder kitties really commit. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2344 "2024-08-21T19:22:56Z")
Well, we had a semi-feral outdoor cat, and the only evidence we ever saw of murderous intent was the occasional dead gopher. For that she was my hero. She had the patience of a saint, and Superman hearing apparently, because she could hear (or feel?) them digging underground, but they couldn’t tell she was there. Bingo bango, dead gopher. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2345 "2024-08-21T19:41:10Z")
[![](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9014799360/hF27688F8/the-law-of-the-jungle) ](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9014799360/hF27688F8/the-law-of-the-jungle) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2346 "2024-08-21T20:05:19Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > You know where this is going. Thankfully the cat didn’t quite get the chance to murder Chippy (all chipmunks are named Chippy) but you know damn well she wanted to. They’re literally sitting there for hours watching creatures running around on the deck **and they want to KILL ALL OF THEM**. Their favorite pastime is dreaming about murdering things smaller than they are. I mean… that’s what predators do, you know? Murder is as much a part of nature as photosynthesis. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2347 "2024-08-21T20:33:35Z")
**Shark:** I read that more people are killed by cows than by sharks. Do you think that’s true? **Cow:** I haven’t given it much thought. Been too busy with all the murdering. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2348 "2024-08-21T20:41:20Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I mean… that’s what predators do, you know? Yeah, it’s just the idea that the sweet little year old kittens who we setup with some Cat TV for their enjoyment are actually enjoying the thought of tearing off a chipmunk’s head and eating it. When we go “look they’re so excited!” they’re actually working up a murderous rage. ---
**Author:** ![Tride](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tride/32/13907_2.png) [@Tride](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tride)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2349 "2024-08-21T21:30:23Z")
It’s not a rage, it’s excitement. When our ravenous pittie targets gophers and bunnies, it’s the best thing he has in his day. He’s on FIRE with happiness! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2350 "2024-08-21T21:37:07Z")
_kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek_ ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2351 "2024-08-21T21:41:11Z")
I can’t believe that people forget that cats are stone cold killers by nature. To me, that’s half the appeal. I like the fact that the John Wick of the animal world wants to cuddle in my lap. > [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek Now that chirping sound, that’s just a stream of profanity, IMHO. It’s the cat muttering, “Fuck you, birds. Fuck you!” over and over again. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2352 "2024-08-21T21:45:08Z")
Of course, the birds are all saying one of two things, either “Heeeey, baby!”, or “You! Get offa my turf!”. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2353 "2024-08-21T21:48:00Z")
And now back to our regular stupidity: > **[Florida woman busted carrying crack and meth in pouch labeled ‘Bag of Drugs’](https://nypost.com/2024/08/01/us-news/florida-woman-busted-carrying-crack-and-meth-in-pouch-labeled-bag-of-drugs/)** > > A Florida woman was busted with a smorgasbord of crack, meth and pills after a cop spotted her zip-up pouch aptly labeled “Bag of Drugs,” police said. Ah, Florida Woman. Determined not to be left behind in the race to the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2354 "2024-08-21T21:54:15Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Ah, Florida Woman. > Lauren Riley, 41, was sitting shotgun when her friend was pulled over in St. Petersburg for failing to wear a seatbelt… _This_ is why you should always wear your seatbelt! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2355 "2024-08-21T22:49:54Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > They’re literally sitting there for hours watching creatures running around on the deck **and they want to KILL ALL OF THEM**. If you saw a pizza running around in your backyard, you wouldn’t want to pounce on that sucker? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2356 "2024-08-21T23:19:20Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Sheessss. The medical board should take a look at this and pull his license. > I have hearing issues and I avoid situations where I think it may cause me or others problems. Hey, it’s one reason I retired from teaching… Well, ok, I guess it’d be down the list after Declining Memory, Declining Health, Declining Patience… and number one: Declining Restraint When Speaking to Bureaucratic Asshats. ---
**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2357 "2024-08-21T23:45:33Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Declining Restraint When Speaking to Bureaucratic Asshats. You actually had that at one time? I guess I was born with a defective Tact gland! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2358 "2024-08-21T23:47:01Z")
Is that Sam Kinison’s sister? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2024, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2359 "2024-08-21T23:48:51Z")
To be fair, I’m pretty sure that Bureaucratic Asshats to Whom One Must Speak are a feature of absolutely every job. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2024, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/2360 "2024-08-22T00:39:51Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Hey, it’s one reason I retired from teaching… Good for you. I’ve been in GIS since before it was called GIS. I developed a fantastic DB that is going to go crazy with additions and changes. My job for the next 18 moths is to show people what it is. That’s what I’m working on. To not do that would be unfair to the people I care about. And unfair to the public that the system supports. Honor? Ethics? Morals? Duty? No. I just care. Simple as that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=117) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=119)