# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 211
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4201 "2025-03-26T00:02:49Z")
6th-grade teacher in Arizona doesn’t have time for a bathroom break, decides to whip it out and piss in a bottle in the middle of class. [https://www.theolympian.com/news/nation-world/national/article302692324.html](https://www.theolympian.com/news/nation-world/national/article302692324.html) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4202 "2025-03-26T00:14:29Z")
Wow, loved his “explanation”. Was also blown away by the other news stories linked at the bottom of that article, with headlines like _“Teacher taped 9-year-old to desk by his neck as aide watched”._ ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4203 "2025-03-26T01:07:29Z")
This is why we need to get rid of the Department of Education and allow states to conduct everything without guidance or oversight from the federal government. Let a man flash his genitals to kids or tape a 9-year-old’s neck to a desk for an hour without Woke getting in the way! ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4204 "2025-03-26T01:17:14Z")
Imagine, at the end of your life, realizing that what you’re best known for is whipping it out and peeing into a bottle in front of a roomful of sixth graders. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4205 "2025-03-26T01:18:47Z")
‘But if you have your way with _one_ goat…’ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4206 "2025-03-26T17:00:06Z")
Aye, laddie, but yer verrrrsion o’ tha joke means ya dinnah get to say tha word “ƒook”! ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4207 "2025-03-27T14:13:23Z")
There really _was_ a monster under the bed. [Babysitter checked for ‘monster’ under the bed, found Kansas man hiding, sheriff says](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/babysitter-checked-for-monster-under-the-bed-found-kansas-man-hiding-sheriff-says/ar-AA1BInxy?ocid=BingNewsSerp) > Deputies talked to a babysitter who was watching children at the home. She said while putting the children to bed, one said there was a “monster” under their bed. > > “When the victim [babysitter] attempted to show the child there was nothing under the bed, she came face-to-face with a male suspect who was hiding there,” BCSO sheriff Brian Bellendir said. “An altercation ensued with the babysitter and one child being knocked over in the struggle.” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4208 "2025-03-27T14:23:59Z")
Jebus. That’s fucking terrifying! ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4209 "2025-03-27T14:46:10Z")
I expect that not only the children, but also the babysitter, will now have nightmares about this for quite some time. YIKES!!! ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4210 "2025-03-27T15:20:52Z")
This totally sounds like an urban legend you’d see on Snopes, except it actually happened. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4211 "2025-03-27T15:27:45Z")
> **[Babysitter checking for monsters finds man hiding under child's bed](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/babysitter-checking-monsters-finds-man-hiding-kansas/)** > > The babysitter came face-to-face with a man hiding underneath the child's bed, Kansas' Barton County Sheriff's office said. > **Villalobos once lived on the property,** the sheriff’s office said. There was a current protection order issued against him to stay away from the property. Likely still had a key or knew a way in without one. ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4212 "2025-03-27T17:18:38Z")
A pity the babysitter had not read Discworld. The Susan Sto Lat treatment would have been fitting. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4213 "2025-03-27T17:22:13Z")
Nitpick: Helit ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4214 "2025-03-27T17:33:34Z")
You are of course right. I knew I should have looked it up. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4215 "2025-03-27T17:52:03Z")
TBH I said, “That doesn’t look right, somehow,” and looked it up myself. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4216 "2025-03-27T20:29:11Z")
> [@Mikkel](#): > > You are of course right. I knew I should have looked it up. Easy way to remember: Sto Helit is Tile Hots spelled backwards. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4217 "2025-03-27T23:49:02Z")
The fact there was a real altercation suggests the babysitter was a badass or the bed-hiding interloper was a useless wimp. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2025, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4218 "2025-03-28T00:08:19Z")
Perhaps the babysitter went into protection mode? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2025, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4219 "2025-03-28T00:29:03Z")
There are no details about the babysitter in the article, but your standard 27yo idiot man can make short work of any teenaged woman who’s not packin’ heat. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2025, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/4220 "2025-03-28T00:35:04Z")
On the one hand, being under a bed isn’t the ideal posture to be fighting from. If she was able to quickly grab some sort of improvised weapon, he might not have been able to fight back effectively. On the other hand, at least one of the reports referred to the babysitter as a “victim”, so we don’t actually know how the fight went. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=210) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=212)