# Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657 "2024-01-05T16:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/461 "2024-02-22T04:24:39Z")
I saw a Gila monster in the wild once. It certainly looked like I could just walk over and pick it up while it was dozing in the sun and it was stunningly beautiful, pictures don’t do the shimmering scales justice. So I could see why someone would try to handle one. As long as they lived under a rock and didn’t know that Gila Monsters are endangered and federally protected as well as being super dangerous. Their venom is pretty fatal and when they bite, they do not let go. Not to mention that if you fuck around with one out this way, you are going to piss off the locals…many of whom play banjos. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/462 "2024-02-22T04:50:11Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I hate when they don’t tell you what happened to the animal. [What happened to the mouse?](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatHappenedToTheMouse) Seriously, though, it makes me itch, too. It’s a really weird death. As the article says, generally not much venom is injected into the wound. Gila monsters don’t have fangs like snakes do, but grooved teeth in the _lower_ jaw. Of more concern is that they grind that jaw to work the venom in deeper not only making for a grievous wound but likely infected – they don’t brush their teeth. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/463 "2024-02-22T06:18:18Z")
So, the lesson to be learned here is to make sure your Gila Monster brushes and flosses? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/464 "2024-02-22T06:26:02Z")
“De-toothing Gila monsters” sounds like it has potential for a 1,000-post flame war. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/465 "2024-02-22T07:04:19Z")
That’s what responsible Gila owners do. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/466 "2024-02-22T11:06:37Z")
“Don’t be silly-a, detooth your Gil-a”? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/467 "2024-02-22T14:10:14Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I was waiting for someone to make that point. I got here as fast as I could. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/468 "2024-02-22T14:37:13Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > as well as being super dangerous Let’s not get carried away. from Wiki: “Prior to this incident, no reports of fatalities had been confirmed after 1930”. Dangerous, yes, protected, si. Fatal, rarely. Feels like you’re going to die after being bit? Absolutely! ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/469 "2024-02-22T15:04:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > The Gila monster’s okay. Modern veterinary science can heal a monster. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/470 "2024-02-22T15:11:22Z")
However it can do nothing for a truly awful pun. You should be ashamed. 10 demerits and go to your room! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/471 "2024-02-22T15:15:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > You should be ashamed. I absolutely **should** be… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/472 "2024-02-22T15:16:56Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > You should be ashamed. > > I absolutely **should** be… - If I had had come up with that one, I’d be _strutting_… ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/473 "2024-02-22T15:38:25Z")
The Komodo dragon is the world’s largest living lizard. It’s a ferocious carnivore. It’s found on the steep-sloped island of Komodo in the lesser Sunda Chain of the Indonesian Archipelago and the nearby islands of Rinja, Padar, and Flores. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/474 "2024-02-22T15:47:47Z")
In my experience, they’re very disagreeable pets. Plus, he ate one of the cats. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/475 "2024-02-22T16:12:40Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > The Komodo dragon is the world’s largest living lizard. It’s a ferocious carnivore. It’s found on the steep-sloped island of Komodo in the lesser Sunda Chain of the Indonesian Archipelago and the nearby islands of Rinja, Padar, and Flores. Where do they come from? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/476 "2024-02-22T16:14:52Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > > [@Telemark](#): > > > > The Komodo dragon is the world’s largest living lizard. It’s a ferocious carnivore. It’s found on the steep-sloped island of Komodo in the lesser Sunda Chain of the Indonesian Archipelago and the nearby islands of Rinja, Padar, and Flores. > > Where do they come from? - When a Daddy Komodo dragon loves a Mommy Komodo dragon… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/477 "2024-02-22T16:58:22Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > “Don’t be silly-a, detooth your Gil-a”? That doesn’t rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2024, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/478 "2024-02-22T17:03:11Z")
1 Komodo Dragon = 50 Gila Monsters by mass. Who would win in a fight to the death? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2024, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/479 "2024-02-23T23:05:00Z")
This is nowhere near the worst [aggressive pet lizard](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5932938/ronald-huff-eaten-monitor-lizards-killed-bite-infected/) incident, which occurred in Delaware in 2002. If you’re concerned about clicking on the link, this excerpt gives the, um, flavor of the story. > [@](#): > > Ronald’s body was found by cops propped up against the front door of the apartment with the enormous lizards feasting on his corpse. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2024, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657/480 "2024-02-23T23:16:39Z")
> Neighbour Jeff Wildonger, now aged 38, told The Sun Online: “If he didn’t have those lizards there he’d be alive today, there’s no doubt.” Meh. If it hadn’t have been seven six-foot-long monitor lizards, then it would’ve been 150 budgerigars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-stupid-mfers-in-the-news-thread-part-2/995657.md?page=25)